Fighting Fate
by smartkid37
Summary: When an airline flight tragically crashes, Team Gibbs struggles to come to terms with the realization that their team mate, while coming back from vacation, was one of those on board. Will things ever be okay for them again?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Co-Written by Shelbylou  
Special Thank You goes out to Tigyr for her awesome help with this story, as well._

* * *

_March 8, 2010_

"Mornin' Boss. Ziva" Tony greeted Gibbs as the younger man strolled into the squad room early Monday morning with his ever-present cheeky grin in place.

"DiNozzo." Came Gibbs' calm greeting in response as he sat behind his desk, scrolling through his emails.

"Good Morning, Tony." Ziva answered back from behind her own desk as she, too scrolled through her emails.

"Hey, isn't McRomeo due back today?" Tony asked as he sat down behind his own desk and fired up his work station.

"Tony, why do you ask questions that you already know the answers to?" Ziva asked in a mix of confusion and aggravation."

"Because, Zee-vah! It helps me focus on what I can use on him as ammo and how much of a hard time I can give him when he gets here!" Tony snarked back at her.

"Will you ever miss the opportunity to give McGee a hard time?" Ziva implored helplessly.

"Why would I wanna do that? It was a wedding he and sister went to with their folks, right? I'll bet he caught the garter! Just wanna start putting that bug in his ear about his future wife and what he should be looking for. We all know his track record when it comes to what he's been looking for in women leaves a lot to be desired." Tony said with his Cheshire cat grin.

"Tony, McGee does not need advice about women from someone who never dates the same one for more than three months!" Ziva reminded him. "And what does a garter have to do with a wedding?"

"American wedding tradition, Ziva" Tony answered flippantly. "Not something you would be familiar with."

"How could you not notice how unhappy McGee was to be going in to this wedding, Tony? And why do you find it acceptable to tease him about such personal issues?" Ziva asked with more than a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"Hey! Maybe, Sarah caught the bouquet! Now, THAT' will really give McBigbrother grey hair, won't it?" Tony's tangent changed lanes for a minute, as if he hadn't even heard Ziva's words of protest. "Wait! Whattaya mean he wasn't happy about going?"

"You done?" Gibbs asked as he calmly interrupted the exchange. The look that accompanied the question didn't match the words

"Not really, Boss, but when you put it like that; I guess I am." The younger man admitted with a grin. The grin quickly came off as he processed the silent question on Gibbs' face.

Tony knew one of those when he saw one. This one was asking how anyone who worked within the same office space could have possibly missed what Ziva had just reminded him of. The fact that his teammate was not only unhappy about going to a wedding; but for once in his life; he hadn't even tried to hide how he felt had become aire apparent in the proceeding weeks and the boss' silent question now ended Tony's attempt at humor on the subject immediately

Tim had explained what was going on to Gibbs when he'd put in for the time off three months ago in order to go to this wedding for a family member of one of his father's CO's. The passage of time did nothing to the ties that bound Tim's father to his CO through life; once they'd served together. The McGee kids knew that. Tim had explained to Gibbs how they hated it at times like these, but they understood it and bucked up; did what was expected and moved on. Tony's incessant harassing Tim about escaping the grunt work of NCIS to fly away to the other side of the country had eventually worn Tim's defenses down to the point where his emotions became easier to read in his eyes as the days went on and the conversations about his upcoming trip became commonplace.

The boss could see that there were Tim refrained from elaborating on parts of the trip, choosing instead to minimize all discussions on the matter to the best of his ability. Gibbs knew that Tim's parents were so insistent that their son join them that they had even paid for his and his sister, Sarah's plane tickets, so Tim wouldn't have to. The young man had made mention of having every intention of paying them back for both tickets, as soon as his current book project was finished and accepted by his publisher. Since this wedding was taking place clear across the country in California, neither Tim nor his parents had wanted to drive that far, even with all of them taking turns at the wheel, the idea of that much of a car ride was daunting and uncomfortable.

Tim hadn't been able to hide the fact that he hadn't been too happy with the idea of flying, either. Apparently, plane landing always stressed him out. Actually, while he'd long hid it from the team, he hadn't been able to hide it from his boss during the course of their conversation about the trip. How the Team Leader had never caught on to that before had surprised the Gibbs when he finally _had _caught on to it, promising the young man that his secret was safe, at least, until the others caught on for themselves..

The young agent was considerably unhappy to be going to this family affair in the first place. The very last place on earth that Tim McGee had wanted to be was at a wedding. Two people committing to a lifelong partnership based on love and trust and mutual interests and attractions; yeah, Tim really didn't want to be there. Only respect for his parents' good name kept him civil and obedient and packing his bags and getting on that flight; his hand being forced in the matter, doing nothing for his mood about the whole ordeal.

With the especially hellish track record Tim had with women and the inevitable pain he'd hidden so well, but everyone on his team knew was there, it had been easy for even Gibbs to sympathize with his plight of having to suffer through a wedding. With his military background, it was just as easy for the Team Leader to completely relate to the requirement for Tim that this was.

Gibbs had been kind enough to let Tim know he would have his first day back in D.C. off, so he could spend as much time with his folks as possible. The Team Leader had told him to report in by 0900 tomorrow morning and hadn't clued the rest of his team in on that decision yet. While it was sort of amusing to watch DiNozzo prepare for McGee's return to work, like it was some kind of extra important mission, being fully stocked up on things to tease the younger man about when he did get back; Gibbs found it more refreshing to have information about his youngest agent's life that his Senior Field Agent did not; even if it was something as small as not coming in when the others expected him to.

While it was most unusual for the boss to give one of his team members an entire day off like this, Gibbs had known it would help get Tim back into the swing of things. Unbeknown to him, the boss had given him the extra time partly in hopes that he would be able to come back from whatever black mood this shindig was bound to put Tim in.

Even as Gibbs refused to give into Tony's push for answers, just now, the boss didn't regret giving Tim the extra time off. The kid had rarely gotten to go home, in all his years on the team and this was the perfect time to give him some of that back; even if it was just one day. The chances of the rest of the team pushing for the same leniency from now were more than Gibbs wanted to deal with and he could foresee it becoming a headache he didn't want or need; but when push came to shove, the boss just hadn't been able to deny his youngest agent this chance to adjust back into things a little closer to normal than one would expect the 'hard-ass' Leroy Jethro Gibbs' to accept.

It had been a rare weekend off for the team. There had been no tip line duty, no emergency case thrown their way, and no off duty problems with anyone on the team. All of them had been truly grateful for it; but none of them had been more grateful than Tim because of this responsibility to his family. But Monday had come quickly enough.

"That stack of cold cases isn't gonna get done on its' own, DiNozzo." Gibbs now threw out there as he himself set his attention back to the open case he'd been studying before Tony's arrival. It was time to get them back on course before irreparable damage was done to the team's attitude toward each other.

As the squad room became quiet, with the three of them becoming engrossed in the case they were working through; the morning wore on and before they knew it, lunchtime had arrived and they took advantage of the quiet state of their caseload and went out to lunch together.

******NCIS******

After lunch, work once again resumed quietly on into the first two hours of the afternoon. This time, the silence was shattered a mere two minutes after they'd settled back into their chairs after they came back from a coffee break at 2:30 and turned back to their work when Ziva audibly drew in a sharp breath, while her eyes remained glued to the television between Tim and Tony's desks. It always remained turned to the national news while they were at work.

Tony and Gibbs looked up from their reading and watched as Ziva eyes remained fixed on the TV. Across the screen in typical big black lettering was the breaking news story of the hour:

_BREAKING NEWS:_

_AA Flight 405 from Burbank, California crashes in Colorado wilderness._

A News Anchor Woman was reporting from behind a studio desk while in the upper corner of the screen, a video was being shown of thick black smoke billowing everywhere within the frame of the picture. Tony forced himself to pick up the remote from the place where they kept it and turned the volume up and they could now hear what she was saying:

_AA Flight 405 from Burbank, California to Denver, CO has crashed in the wilderness area of the Tenderfoot Mountain just 3 miles east of the town of Dillon. The area is more commonly known to locals as the proposed Porcupine Gulch Wilderness Area, just 69 miles west of Denver._

_The Boeing 757-200 left Burbank at 10:15 AM Pacific Time and crashed thirty minutes ago at 12:00 PM; almost two hours into the 2 hour and 18 minute flight to Denver._

_With a refueling scheduled for its' layover in Denver, authorities say that they are thankful the fuel tanks were not filled to capacity before the flight departed from Burbank. It has also been reported that the flight was only half-full of its' normal 200 passenger capacity. The flight manifest has not yet been verified by the Airline._

"_The control tower at Denver's Airport has reported that they lost contact with the plane as it was beginning its' approach to the mountains this morning, _

_The Airline Pilot Association was able to report that the plane appeared to have strayed off course, possibly because of the poor weather that had unexpectedly arisen. Officials are investigating reports that the plane was flying through a storm, with flashes of lightning, as it neared the mountains just 65 miles from the airport and may have been hit by lightning before crashing._

_Local police report that there no eye witnesses have been reported as to any signs of trouble from the plane before it crashed _

_The plume of smoke can still be seen rising from the trees and the crash has been confirmed by reconnaissance flights sent over the area by the US Air Force. _

_It has been confirmed by aeronautical specialists that lightning, as an electrical force, cannot be the sole cause of an accident, but a sharp change in wind direction or an air pocket linked to lightning when a plane is near the ground could cause a crash. This has authorities speculating that unexpected wind shear may have been a factor in the crash of the flight._

_An airline spokesman said an investigation would be launched into the exact cause of the crash._

_While no photos have been released until all families of the passengers can be notified, authorities are saying that this crash has happened in an area consisting of over 8,100 acres (over 12 square miles), which has them extremely concerned about difficulty they may have in reaching the crash site. These concerns are very realistic due to the remoteness of the area; limited access, no maintained trails and little recreational traffic have helped keep this wilderness area relatively undisturbed._

_It is been speculated that none of the 100 passengers have survived, based on observations made of the Air Force as a result of their reconnaissance flights over the crash site. NTSB is enroute and will not comment on that speculation until they have arrived at the scene and have more first-hand information to share with the public._

_They are asking that any relatives of passengers on this flight to report to the ticket counter at their nearest airport for confirmation of their family member's flight information._

_We will bring you more information on this horrific crash as it becomes available. _

_**********BREAKING NEWS*******  
_

Ziva's face lost all color and she sat down in her chair in shock. Tony looked from the television to Ziva and back again. Looking at Ziva again, he suddenly felt his gut twist agonizingly. _No! It couldn't be!_

"Ziva?" Tony asked with grave concern, dread and denial all mixed together.

At Tony's tone of voice, Gibbs turned his attention away from the heart-stopping news footage and report in front of him that had his gut clenched in fear, and looked at his newest 'Agent'.

"Ziva?" the boss asked with some authority in hopes of grounding her before she completely succumbed to whatever she was experiencing at the moment.

In a voice that shook with emotion she was fighting damn hard not to let show; Ziva told them what they needed to hear.

"That is McGee's flight."


	2. Chapter 2

_"That is McGee's flight."_

"No! No, it's not!" The Senior Field Agent vehemently denied, unwilling to accept it as truth. "Wait, how do you know what flight number he's on?" Tony demanded as his blustering faltered in the wake of Ziva's obvious growing despair.

"McGee gave me his flight information before he left on Friday." She said with traitorously wet eyes. Desperate for that wall to remain intact, she quickly turned her head away and rapidly blinked as she tried to rid her eyes of her unwelcome showing of emotion as she retrieved a piece of paper from her desk drawer and stoically walked up to Gibbs and handed it to him.

As Gibbs watched Ziva struggle to remain strong amidst the truth she obviously knew and now provided proof of; he felt his own heart breaking; swore he could feel someone literally ripping the broken pieces right out of his chest. _McGee – gone_? _Killed in a plane crash; a plane he hadn't even wanted to be on in the first place._ _Damn it! Life was so damn unfair!_

Struggling to keep it together for his team; Gibbs looked at the paper Ziva had just handed him and felt the breath stop in his throat; _she was right. Tim, his parents and his sister had been on that flight._ Only the actual Flight manifest would be able to prove whether they actually got on the flight, though and suddenly, Gibbs found himself praying that they'd missed it. _He didn't care if Tim didn't come in to work for another week; just so he was still alive and not on that flight!_

"You're wrong, Ziva. That isn't his flight. That can't be his flight" Tony continued to try desperately to verbally wish this situation away for all of them, especially, his Probie. His eyes flew to those of his boss, desperate for a different truth than what he was hearing; what he was being told to accept as real.

As the three of them remained locked in frozen state of immobility borne of disbelief, shock and sorrow; a new voice brokenly pierced the silence:

"Gibbs! Tell me they're wrong about no survivors!" Abby's tear-filled cry from behind them filled the air as she ran to Gibbs and threw herself into his arms as he instinctively turned towards her. She was desperate for reassurance and a different truth than what those stupid television reporters were handing out. Truth be told, they all were.

"If it's a remote area, how can they possibly know there were no survivors!" she demanded as she pulled her head back from his shoulders and forced herself to look at the news report.

"Abby, how did you…?" Gibbs gently asked.

"Tim's neighbor just called me and told me she saw it on the news. Mrs. Burke has been Tim's neighbor since he first moved here while Tim and I were still dating. I stay in touch with her because she's all alone and has no family. She's really upset about this. Tim always looks in on her and spends time with her." Abby's original emotional outburst had died down in the wake her diatribe borne of her emotional state. As she finished her diatribe brought on by stress, fear and worry, the sound of someone clearing their throat from above them was clearly heard.

"Pack your bags. All of you. We've got a man to retrieve." Vance told them in his typical no-nonsense tone.

"Wait, you want us to investigate in NTSB territory?" Tony asked incredulously, as he was finally pulled from his initial state and forced into reacting to an order from the Agency Head.

"Not what I said, DiNozzo. The simple fact of the matter is, Agent McGee had no other family. If in fact, his parents and sister have died in this crash, we owe it to him, to see that they get a proper burial. We definitely owe it to him, to make damn sure he has one."

His declaration was met with a silence so full of emotion, it seemed as though the entire floor of employees had ground to a silent halt, the sound of that silence that now seemed to literally be screaming with the sounds of already shattering hearts being ripped to shreds all over the building.

Ducky arrived with Palmer on his tail before Vance had finished speaking.. As the M.E. looked at the scene they'd just walked into, he couldn't help but feel for their pain. They'd just found out they'd lost one of their own. That was something that was never easy to deal with; especially this team who had been through so much together.

"Guys, Timmy's still alive. I can feel it." Abby said tearfully but with conviction.

"Abbs…" Gibbs tried to get her to stop doing this to herself and to them.

"No! Gibbs! If he were dead, I'd feel it! I always know when something bad's happened to him!" Abby insisted.

"Yeah? You didn't see this coming, did you?" Gibbs asked her gently.

"Well, no, but…" the young woman sniffled as she answered brokenly.

"Abby. Don't. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do it to them. Please? " Gibbs whispered in her ear as he wrapped her in a hug for a minute.

As he let her go, he looked around at his now broken team; somehow needing to hold them together. _What if Abby was right? For that hope alone, they would keep going. But how to do it without getting their hopes up? They didn't deserve it and probably wouldn't survive it; the let down if Tim hadn't survived if they allowed themselves to focus on that slim possibility_.

"C'mon. let's go. Get packed. Get back here. Thirty minutes. No later." Gibbs ordered as quietly as he could while still holding on to his authoritative tone.

Having issued the order, he turned and bounded up the stairs to the Director's office, anxious to get to the bottom line of what it was Vance really wanted here. Looking back, he could see Abby standing stiffly within the confines of Ducky's arms as the M.E. attempted to comfort their resident Lab Rat. Even as he reached the top of the stairs, Gibbs could still hear her plaintive wail.

"But, Gibbs knows hope is all we have to hold onto right now, Ducky! Why would he tell me not to let us hope?"

_Maybe he shouldn't have asked her not to offer that hope_. Gibbs hoped they'd find out she was right to believe, but wasn't ready to put himself out there far enough to reach out for it right now. The odds were stacked too high against that probability.

"Fornell." Gibbs quietly greeted his FBI friend as they met in Vance's office. "Didn't feel like stopping by my office to see me today?"

Whereas under normal circumstances, Fornell would have heard the humor within the rhetorical question and smiled; now, he heard no such humor, only pain and the Marine tough determination to push through this tragedy step by painful step, until the end.

"No time, Gibbs." Fornell said quietly. Although the man always spoke in a quiet voice; today that quietness was set in a solemn mood that couldn't be missed. "I'm really sorry, Gibbs. We all liked McGee."

"Thanks, Tobias." Gibbs gave back in a tone that was just as reflectively quiet. His brain was still in shock_. This kind of thing just didn't happen to his team. What was wrong with the world? This wasn't supposed to happen!_

"Gibbs, NCIS is working in cooperation with the FBI on this. You're going strictly to take care of the Agent McGee and his family. Everything else is FBI jurisdiction. Let them fight it out with NTSB. It's not our fight." Vance instructed with a touch of sympathy.

"Unless this was deliberate." Gibbs reminded the man without raising his voice.

"Not even then, Gibbs. Unless and not until it's proven that it was deliberate against our agent." Vance calmly reminded him in return as he struggled to deal with this subdued Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He felt for the man and his team and hoped like hell that the flight manifest; which was due there any moment, would prove that the McGee family had missed their flight.

"Highly unlikely, Gibbs." Fornell told him calmly.

"Yeah, Fornell, I agree. Anything else, Leon?" Gibbs questioned in the manner that let it be known he was done standing around.

"No. Earliest flight we could get you on leaves at 3:30. Gives you barely an hour to get there. The flight manifest from McGee's flight should be available and waiting for you when you get to the airport. You'll have transportation and adequate State Park Ranger personnel to escort you through the remote area to the crash site. I want Ducky there in the off chance that there are survivors, Gibbs. Just because the media isn't banking on there being any, doesn't mean there aren't."

"You been talkin' to Abby, have you, Leon?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Let her believe it, Gibbs, if it keeps her focused and able to help." Vance encouraged sympathetically.

"Help with what, exactly Leon? You've already said this isn't our case. Why exactly are you wanting Abby to go?"

"You really expect her to sit here and just wait?" the boss asked incredulously. They both new the Lab Rat better than that.

"Actually, yeah. I do. Damn site better than her traipsing over there and having to see McGee that way!" Gibbs fired back with enough anger to get his point across. There was no reason to put her through that part of this tragedy.

"And if he **is** still alive?" Vance pushed.

"If he is, fly her down when we get him to the hospital. I'm tellin' you, Leon, there's no reason for her to go to the crash site!" came the quick answer that belied the fact that it was something to believed in.

"All right. I'll get her to stay here." Vance caved; knowing Gibbs was right and didn't need one more person to have to worry about while they were there; especially under these circumstances.

"Tell her to use her emergency caretaker status he signed for the dog and that she's responsible for getting him from the kennel and taking care of him for McGee at least til we get back. His apartment, too. Till we get back, keep her busy and she'll be fine." Gibbs suggested as he headed out with Fornell on his heels.

"You all right, Jethro?" Tobias asked sympathetically as they took the stairs down to the squad room together.

Gibbs looked at him silently; the unspoken words shining through just as clearly as if he'd shouted them out.

"Anything I can do?" the FBI Team Leader tried again.

"Find the bastard that did it; If it was sabotage. If it was mechanical failure; find the idiot responsible!" Gibbs bit out angrily as he geared up. He wasn't going unprotected. None of his team were. It didn't matter if they weren't working this as a case. Wilderness was nothing to fool with.

"We'll do our best. I'm going for coffee before we head out. I'll bring you back a cup." Fornell answered as he walked out of the squad room.

While he waited for his agents to get back, Gibbs cleared up his desk and shut down his computer. Forcing himself to swallow hard, he took himself over to Tim's desk and started looking for clues; of what he hadn't the foggiest idea. All he knew was he felt like he was connecting with his agent by sitting here, looking at what had made the young man tick. _Please let Abby be right_. He silently prayed.

When Tony and Ziva returned, ready to go, it was to find Gibbs lost in thought sitting at Tim's desk. Not wanting to disturb him, they took their own seats silently, surprised when Fornell came from the break-room and walked up to Tim's desk.

"Ready?" he broke through Gibbs' train of thought respectfully and waited for the man to collect himself before handing him his coffee.

"Yeah. Let's go." Gibbs said as he looked at his agents. "Gear up. I don't want us unprepared for anything, so stay sharp. Ducky'll be with us so his safety comes first."

"Gibbs." Vance called to him from the landing between the flights of stairs.

The Team Leader turned to look at his boss and saw the paper the man was offering out to him.

"Flight Manifest." Vance explained without further ado, even as he wore his poker face and kept his voice neutral.

Without a second to spare or a minute to be asked, Tony bolted up the stairs and held out his hand for the list they all needed to see and were desperate to find some 'cancelled' spaces on. Vance gave Tony the list with a rare gesture of sympathy; a pat on the arm and watched silently as the Senior Field Agent nearly flew back down the stairs, his eyes glued to the list now clutched tightly in his hand. "Damn it!" the younger man cried out in a voice unabashedly filled with pain. "All four of them were on it!"

Abby's knees gave out and she sank into Tim's desk chair, tears streaming down her face as Ducky stood over her, his hand attempting to be a comforting presence on her shoulder.

Jimmy Palmer felt frozen in shock. Not since the death of Michelle had he felt this close to something so painful that this team was experiencing.

Ziva called on every single fiber of every ounce of control that she possessed to stop the tears from falling. Stoically, she took herself over to Gibbs and spoke quietly to him before approaching Abby. Crouching down in front of her, she placed a steadying hand on the Lab Rat's knee and spoke just as quietly to her as she had just done to Gibbs.

"Abby. We need for you to hold on to that hope you spoke of. You can do that, yes? Do not let go of that hope before all the facts have become known."

Abby looked up at Ziva with the silent search for confirmation of what Ziva was asking of her. When the Israeli woman nodded at her, Abby turned her attention to her surrogate father. He'd been to one who asked her not to entertain such hope; had even said please. Had he changed his mind? Did they need to hold onto it as desperately as she did?

Gibbs blinked several times and swallowed hard before looking at Abby and giving his own nod of confirmation as well as a small smile of apology.

Abby wiped away her tears and scrubbed a tired hand over her face before she stood up and together with Ziva and Ducky, walked back over to Gibbs.

"I still say he's alive. I would know if he wasn't. My heart would know it." She told the room in general, although her voice was more subdued than they'd heard from her in a long time.

Gibbs knew he needed to be the one to take that first next step. He needed to be doing what he could to rally them together for the task they had in front of them. 'C'mon, let's go get them and bring 'em home."

The car ride to the airport was undertaken in complete silence. Each of them was lost in their own thoughts; possibly grief; hopefully, hope more so than grief; but at any rate; none of them were anxious to disrupt the time they all needed with their own thoughts and nobody knew what to say at a time like this. They'd all heard Ziva's pained request of Abby to hold onto hope. And while none of them wanted to set themselves up to feel the intense pain of that hope being crushed by a reality they just hadn't forced themselves to accept, they also knew that a spark of that hope was needed to keep going.

It had been tough getting Abby to understand that it was better for her and the team's ability to get their task done quickly and with all due focus, for her to stay in D.C. When she'd been reminded of the things she could do to be of the most help to them all and Tim; she readily accepted the assignment. Her eyes had teared up at the mention of the german shepard still waiting to be picked up and taken home by his master. Their hearts had been heavier with leaving Abby behind, but they'd realized it had to be done and were allowed to settle into the knowledge that she at least had something to keep her occupied with her time while they were gone to retrieve their fallen friend and his family.

As they grabbed their bags and headed into the terminal, with Gibbs leading the way; every step felt like a funeral march and each placement of their feet hurt like a stake through the heart. The walk seemed endless and it was almost a great relief to finally reach the ticket counter at the gate. With the team surrounding the front of the counter, they made an imposing sight, with the agents wearing their badges in plain sight and flashing their identification in hopes of speeding up this pain-filled process.

While the steps they'd taken to get them to this point had been hard enough and heart–wrenching enough; what came next hit them all like a bucket of cold water.

"I'm sorry, but all departing flights out of D.C. have been cancelled."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N - __Hi Guys_

_We apologise wholeheartedly for the long wait in updating, but if you want to throw any rotten vegies, then aim them my way because I've held the chapter to ransom for so long. It's a crazy busy time of year._

_We hope this more than makes up for it so sit back, relax and enjoy-Shelbylou_

__

_

* * *

_

Gibbs lay on the bed seething about what had transpired at the airport. The flight Vance had booked them on, no more than two hours before it had been due to take off; but by the time they'd gotten there it had been cancelled. Glancing at his watch, he was startled to find out that it had been more than four hours since they'd tried to fly out from the airport.

With anger and fear boiling deep down in his gut, the Team Leader decided that the best course of action would be to simply lay there, scowling at the ceiling, rather than spread his mix of negative emotions to anyone else. They all had enough on their minds without him making it worse for them. He sighed heavily and cast a furtive glance towards the second bed in the room and saw that Tony was still wide awake, with the moonlight that filtered through the gap in the curtains, reflecting off his eyes.

"How you doing' DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked him quietly, not bothering to hide his concern in the wake of the current situation and the tragedy that had set it in motion.

"Peachy, Boss. Just…." Tony huffed out a short breath. "Just peachy."

"I know how ya feel, but you need to get some sleep." Gibbs gladly stepped back into the leadership role, grateful to have something to do with his thoughts besides dwell on the heartbreak that awaited them in the morning.

"How?" Tony asked with unbridled frustration.

"I dunno, but try." Gibbs heard Tony turn towards the window and knew that sleep would evade his agent as much as it was him, but he didn't want to be dealing with a tired, cranky Tony in the morning. Especially not since they would be taking a military transport out courtesy of Director Vance. Tony hated them, he knew that; but there was nothing he could do about that and getting to the crash site as soon as possible was the main thing. He let his mind wander back to the scene at the airport…

_5 hours ago…._

_"I'm sorry, but all departing flights out of D.C. have been cancelled."_

_Gibbs felt his heart drop at that news and glared at the guy standing behind the counter. "What d'ya mean it's been cancelled? It was only booked a couple of hours ago!"_

"_Sir, I do apologize, but the Denver airport has been closed for the past hour because of their bad weather and we've just been advised to cancel all outbound flights here until the one that's stalled over us here in D.C. passes as well. We will try and book you onto the next available flight."_

_Gibbs was all but boiling at the news and slapped his hand down on the desk. "And when will that be?" he asked through clenched teeth. _

_The desk clerk balked slightly and checked his computer. "I'm sorry, Sir, but it's been forecasted that the storm will remain stationary tonight. There is no wind driving it away. I'm afraid we're all stuck with it for the night. We're hoping to get things moving again by mid morning weather permitting. There are a lot of passengers that we will be rescheduling though, so there's no guarantee that you will get on one of those flights because they are near full."_

"_NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" the team leader was fast losing patience with this and only managed to slightly calm himself when he felt a small hand touch his arm._

"_Gibbs. It is not his fault." Ziva pulled slightly and frowned when Gibbs' shoulders slumped slightly and he moved away. "I apologize. One of our friends was on the flight that crashed near the Tenderfoot Mountain and we are simply trying to get there." She pulled out her badge and showed it to the irked clerk. His resolve softened at the news._

_Gibbs stood watching what she was doing with interest and wondered how she could stay so together in lieu of what they knew…scrap that, he knew damn well how, it was just who she was but he understood her need for control, he just didn't like it._

"_Ma'am, if I could get you out there any sooner, I would, but it's just not possible. You also need to bear in mind that when you hit Denver, you've got a small, connecting flight to Breckenridge Airport which will most definitely be shut down through that storm as well."_

"_Understood. Please can you print off tomorrow's flight information for us and we will see about coming back in the morning?" She stood and waited for the printout and thanked the guy who had helped._

"_Please be aware, that they might still be closed tomorrow. It all depends on the weather."_

"_We will bear that in mind. Thank you." She turned and bumped into an astonished looking Tony. "What?"_

"_That was…You were so…how the hell did you stay so calm?" her teammate asked in surprise_

"_We need to get to McGee and getting angry at the clerk will not help anyone. It is not his fault we cannot get there. We should find a hotel, yes?"_

"_Guess so." Tony agreed and moved out of her way so she could pass. He followed her to where Gibbs was standing watching what was going on and he cringed as the boss pulled out his cell phone to make a call._

"_Leon,…Problem? Yeah we've got a problem. The flight's been cancelled and we can't get there till first thing in them morning….WHAT?...No, that's not good enough…" Gibbs looked up to see __four __pairs of pain filled eyes watching him. __The M.E. and his assistant had been eerily silent through all of this drama and even now, had nothing to say._

"_Damn it, Leon. McGee's out there!...I know that but I need to get to him ASAP!...Uh huh...yeah…You've gotta be kidding me…..Well yeah, Leon, I know that it's always a possibility and if that's the case then I'm bringing the kid home so we can bury him with honors…I heard ya the first time. I know there's no known survivors but like Abby believes, there's a chance that he did make it and I'm lettin' go of that…just…" Gibbs sighed heavily. "Just do what you can...okay. Yeah? Okay. Right. Thanks, Leon."_

"_Everything okay, Boss?" Tony asked tentatively._

"_Well, No, DiNozzo. It's not. Vance can get a military transport to take us at 0500, but we can't do anything till then."_

"_I think we should book into a hotel because there is no point in standing around here all night." Ziva offered. "There is one nearby."_

"_Vance is taking care of that. Alright, grab your gear. We'll go grab something to eat and crash for the night wherever Vance books us in."_

_They made their way out of the airport and took one of the shuttles to the Airport's Hotel Mariott, where Vance used his pull with the agency to book their rooms. Once there, they checked in and silently made their way to the restaurant to try and eat something before turning in. It was hard though, and he noticed the way in which they all picked at their food with faraway expressions on their faces that seemed to speak louder than any of the words that eluded them._

Present time…

With a heavy sigh, Gibbs glanced at the clock on the nightstand and shook his head. In four hours, they would be on a plane flying out to see whether Tim was coming home alive, or in a body bag waiting to check in to Ducky's morgue. He wanted to believe with the conviction that Abby held so tightly in her heart, and he was surprised to find that he was actually beginning to. There was still a piece of him that cursed the chance that it would lead to being let down in the worst way; not willing to be handed that dose of pain when it came; but…

"Stop it, please, Boss!" Tony demanded from where he lay and Gibbs frowned.

"You still awake?"

"Yeah, and I can hear you thinking.' Tony turned onto his back once more with a groan. "Funny how that can be so loud."

Gibbs huffed and watched as Tony's eyes grew heavy with the exhaustion that was obviously weighing him down. "G'night, Tony."

"Night, Boss." Came the sleepy reply as his senior agent finally succumbed to slumber.

The next morning seemed to slowly creep up on Gibbs and even though he had gotten no sleep the night before, he was up and at them at bang on 4.30. He shook Tony's shoulder to rouse the younger man.

"Time to get up, Tony."

"Five more minutes." Came the grumbled reply from the mound of blankets on the bed.

"NOW! DiNozzo. We've got a plane to catch!" Tony shot bolt upright with a look of horror on his face before climbing out of bed and making his way to the bathroom.

"I'll be ready in five, Boss!"

"See that you are." Gibbs growled back as he slipped is jeans back on and pulled on his jacket. "I'm gonna go make sure Ziva's awake."

He stepped out of the room and started at the figure leaning casually against the door jamb. "Good morning." She greeted him as she held out a hot cup of coffee for him.

"Morning." He grumped. "Sleep well?"

"No. But that is not important now. The flight leaves in twenty minutes and I have spoken to Vance who says that the plane landed here half an hour ago.

"Ok. Give us 5 minutes." Gibbs turned to walk back into the room and just caught Ziva telling him that she, Palmer and Ducky would meet them downstairs. He threw a nod over his shoulder and closed the door as he caught sight of Tony sitting on the bed lacing his boots.

"Ziva's waiting in the lobby with Palmer and Ducky."

Tony nodded and pulled his jeans over the top of his boots. "Plane here?"

"Landed 20 minutes ago." he caught the look on Tonys face and frowned."Problem?"

"Why would there be a problem, Boss? Were about to fly out in a tin can to see if Probie survived that crash." he stood up and ran his fingers through his hair. "And I'm cranky because I didn't sleep last night."

"None of us did so suck it up, DiNozzo. As far as the planes go, they're safer than commercial ones."

"Whatever you say." Tony reached into his bag and pulled out a small bottle of pills. When he shook them into his hand, Gibbs recognized them instantly, having seeing his team popping them for various reasons over the years..._.especially Tim_.

"Travel sick pills?"

"Hell yeah! You know I dont do well with those damn military planes and that storm's still raging too. Let's call it a precaution."

Gibbs shouldered his bag and shook his head before making his way out. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Tony replied and followed his boss out of the door feeling more and more like he was walking to his doom.

The plane ride out to Colorado was pretty much spent in the same lingering silence that the drive to the airport the day before had been. Between the turbulence and the green faces as the plane lurched in the storm clouds, there was really nothing to say anyway. The painful reason they were going out there seemed to override their discomfort and silenced whatever protests were on their lips…_Timothy McGee might not be coming home._

It was a torrid affair, what with the cancelled flights and the fact that they had all spent a full night, wasting time in a hotel staring at the ceiling; meant they were all pretty much at breaking point and all had all reached a point where words were hollow. They had no meaning and anything they said to break the thick silence, would be meaningless and empty.

Gibbs sat there and watched the sullen faces of his team and knew that they were lost deep in their own thoughts. He wouldn't allow himself that luxury just yet because he had a team to look out for and be there for to help them get through this. Unsurprisingly, as he looked around him at each one of them, he could read them well enough to know that regret and guilt had melded with the memories that flooded their minds at this point.

Tony couldn't stop thinking how much Tim had grown on him over the years. Sure, the kid had been green when he had started and was naïve to a fault. Hell, Tony could have planted a garden between the kid's ears and grown one that would have made Miracle Grow proud; but Tim had stuck with it and had put up with a hell of a lot of crap from Tony over the years, and had practically no verbal appreciation from Gibbs. Not to mention the endless teasing from Ziva and Abby that could seem relentless some days. In fact, now that Tony thought about it, Tim had pretty much suffered at their hands, every day of his life but had taken it on the chin and started to give as good as he got…_good on ya, Probie. You didn't deserve that!_

And then there was Abby. Tony still worried how his surrogate little sister was going to handle it if Probie was truly gone from them. She'd ended their relationship badly and let him nurse his hurt and broken heart alone. It was his never-ending love for her over all these years that forced him to still be her friend and yet, somehow she always treated him like the little brother you loved to hate. While Tony never understood why Tim put up with it; all he could think now was that he somehow wanted to make sure Abby made it through this. God forbid she was wrong and her Timmy truly had died in this plane crash. The team wouldn't ever be the same without him. As he wiped away the tear that had leaked out of his eye, his thoughts turned to Ziva.

Tony knew that Ziva had always appreciated Tim's gentle nature and his gentlemanly manners that had been called upon when he welcomed her to the team. She found him warm and open even though he was still grieving for Kate. Ziva had never failed to show her appreciation for Tim's manners and kind spirit. She never forgot to bring him a small token of appreciation. Tony smiled as he remembered the countless times those gestures had been in the form of a food item that he himself had pilfered away from the kindhearted Probie.

_Kindhearted_. Tim was so kindhearted, he had always found the good in people even when it had been almost impossible to find. Until he started having nothing but bad luck with women, that is. When that luck became personal attacks on both his credit rating and his person, Tim began changing bit by bit as they wore him down gradually. It had been as if someone had taken the Angel off the top of the Christmas Tree and started crumbling it apart from the inside, starting with the heart. Tony had been sad to see it as the spark had faded a little bit more every day from the young man's eyes; and yes, admittedly, he'd selfishly played a part in it with that little escapade of playing that online dating hoax on Tim. Looking back at it now, Tony found nothing funny about it. Tim hadn't said anything but Tony had seen the pain flicker in those green depths for weeks after that. It had been the same look that had been there after the crazy chick who stole his credit cards was locked up. Yeah, poor Tim had had it rough when it came to the ladies; but Tony had started making sure the guy kept standing tall. Tony wiped at yet another errant tear before closing his eyes to ward off the rest. _God I hope Abby's right! _He thought before letting his mind drift off to sleep.

A few seats over, Ziva sat equally lost in her own thoughts. Timothy no middle name McGee had shown here what it meant to be a friend; to be a friend that never asked for anything in return, except to be respected as an equal member of their team. Soft spoken. kindhearted to a fault, loyal, honest, hardworking, easy to please, and always aiming to please others. A true gem in a world where they were seldom appreciated anymore. The few women in Tim's dating history had placed plenty of proof in that. The trouble was, they'd each taken a large piece of this treasured man and changed the perfect piece of who he'd been, into something broken and no longer happy in the world.

Although Ziva's heart was largely taken by Tony, there was such a large space in there for her surrogate brother, that it was practically breaking into little pieces just thinking he might not have survived this horrible crash. He had to be still alive! Her heart didn't want to accept any other truth. Anything else was truly unacceptable. _Please let Abby be right!_ She whispered to herself silently, over and over again until sleep claimed her tired mind and body.

Two seats over, Ducky rested his heart, body and mind, as much as possible under the circumstances. The mere thought of young Timothy perishing in a plane crash along with his parents and younger sister was enough to bring tears to his eyes. That in itself made it extremely difficult to force himself to rest. But, he knew he would need to be fully rested before he could be of any use to anyone at the crash site_. Poor, sweet Timothy. I do so hope that Abigail is right. Dear Heavens, please let her be right! _As Ducky felt himself nodding off, those three small phrases kept repeating themselves over and over in his mind until sleep claimed him_._

Gibbs watched silently and thoughtfully as the rest of his crew slowly but surely fought their way through their own personal minefields of emotion until they got to the place where their bodies and minds were able to sleep. Satisfied that they would be okay for now and when they got to the airport, he finally allowed himself to lose himself in his own thoughts; chaotic and unhappy as they were. While there were plenty of good memories of McGee from his time on the team; it was somehow, all the less than pleasant ones the young man had gone through; that now clamored for his focus.

As he fought back against his own heart wrenching thoughts, his gaze settled on the odd man out; the man that was there more than he'd ever realized before…_Jimmy Palmer. _The kid had been silent and morose since the news of the plane crash and Gibbs found himself giving the guy credit for keeping his cool. He knew that Tim had been friends with him too, moreso than the rest of his team most of the time and mentally kicked himself now for not asking how Jimmy was actually doing and ignoring his needs. Well, at least this much, Gibbs could fix without any more wasted time.

"Palmer." Gibbs said gently, startling the young man out of his thoughts. "How're you doin'?"

"Um..I'm good. Just…I…"

"It's alright. Just tell me." Gibbs quietly encouraged him, remembering the poor kid's penchant for losing the ability to speak around him on a normal day as it was.

Jimmy's panicked eyes softened slightly and he shook his head. "Pretty much as well as everyone else. Worried, scared…I don't want to bring a body back." Jimmy removed his glasses and swiped away at a tear, thankful for the fact that no one would comment. Not today.

"I know. You wanna talk?" Gibbs asked soothingly, not wanting Jimmy to feel left out. His door was open to Ducky, Tony and Ziva, but they knew that. Jimmy didn't and he wanted to make it clear.

"N..no. But thank you." He replaced his glasses and offered a rueful smile. "I'll…If I need too…."

"My doors always open." Gibbs nodded once and watched as Jimmy's eyes lost focus and he went back into his own little world.

Jimmy knew that he would quite possibly be bringing his friend back in a body bag and that was the one thing that hurt like hell. Sure, he'd done autopsies on people that he knew; past employees of NCIS, but this was different. Over the years, he'd forged friendships with most members of the MRCT – all bar Gibbs that is – but his friendship with Tim was pretty strong. The man was always willing to help and always had a smile on tap if it was needed. The fact that he'd spoken to Tim about his relationships didn't hurt either; Tim was the one that would give him the advice and guidance he needed without poking fun at his expense. Sure, he could go to Tony but he knew better than that and going to Ziva wasn't an option because quite frankly the woman scared him.

No, It was Tim who provided him with the shoulder to lean on and the sound advice. His thoughts soon took a tormenting turn as his imagination sprung to life. In his mind, he could see the zipper of a body bag being done up over the face of his friend; Tim's features slowly being covered by the black plastic that they used to transport the dead. This time, he didn't swipe away at the tear; no, he let it run down and drip off his chin instead. It took him a moment to finally take his glasses off again and wipe away at the evidence. It was too late though and when he finally looked up he saw two crystal blue eyes boring into him. He dipped his head and tried to clear his mind of the memories and images that assaulted him, knowing that right now, he couldn't afford to let his emotions get the better of him. He sincerely hoped and prayed that Tim's family were still alive as well. He'd meant what he'd just told Agent Gibbs. He didn't want to be bringing home a body; any body.

As the plane's landing gear clanked into place signaling their descent, Gibbs woke up and re-acclimated himself with where he was. The lack of sleep from the night before had been too much for his body to handle and despite the fact that his mind was wound tight with thoughts of his youngest agent, his body had given in to the sheer exhaustion that washed over him. He stretched out the kinks and watched the rest of his team wake up with an air of surprise that everyone had slept…. _His team! Oh, McGee!_

It was 9:30 PM Pacific Time when they landed in Colorado. Tim McGee's flight had crashed into the mountainous wilderness more than 5 hours ago and as they touched down and taxied in to the airport, Tony opened up his laptop and plugged in the mobile internet so he could log on to catch the local news about the crash for an update on the situation. Tony sat glued to his laptop, his body language tense and screaming _bad news_. All the emotions that came with it flooded through him and made his heart plummet.

"Tony, turn it up." Gibbs requested and even though he tried to be strong by keeping his voice steady, he knew that there was pain in his voice at the sight of what his agent was looking at. It broke his heart having to watch what could potentially be the only thing keeping them close to Tim right now, but he knew that they needed to hear the updated report on the crash.

"…_which killed 112 people. That official number comes from the Flight Manifest which has been verified against the Airline's confirmation of actual passengers onboard the flight._

_Helicopters could not fly in the heavy rain and low clouds for some two hours after the crash reportedly occurred. Once the weather cleared enough for the helicopters to fly, they were immediately deployed and rescue teams were sent in. It has proven difficult to remove each body from the wreckage and the progress has been painstakingly slow. 'The site of crash was inaccessible. It is a forest ' a spokesman for the rescue operations stated. 'Rescue teams are doing their level best in these difficult conditions._

_Emergency teams have been battling thick mud, rain and slippery hillsides on Monday at the scene of the worst plane crash in these mountains for more than 20 years. So far, their valiant efforts have not been in vain and they have recovered a good majority of the bodies that were on the flight. Army troops and civilian rescue workers continued to search a large stretch of the hills scorched by the crash throughout the day, but mud slides and heavy rain slowed the pace of operations considerably and have hindered their efforts considerably. _

_"It was reported yesterday evening, by some of the first medical personnel to arrive on the scene that the impact of the crash dislodged the plane's motors, causing it to split into three pieces. The cockpit was intact, but the canopy was sheared off, the plane apparently coming to rest against a large fir tree._

_The crash left twisted metal wreckage hanging from trees and scattered across the ground on a bed of broken branches. Wreckage seems to be strewn over about a third of a square mile (one-square kilometer) section of the forested slopes. Clouds of dense grey smoke continued to rise up from the burning wreckage for several hours._

_Rescue workers worked tirelessly throughout the day sifting through the remains of the plane crash recovering bodies from the plane wreckage. By mid-afternoon, rescuers scouring the heavily forested hills had located and retrieved 50 bodies in the wreckage._

_"The situation at the site of the crash is heartbreaking."' one emergency worker reported last night, with tears in her eyes. "It is a great tragedy and I confirm it with great pain that there are no survivors."_

_When news of the crash first became known earlier yesterday morning, family members of the passengers flocked to the airport, desperate for confirmation that their loved one did or did not get on that flight._

_As the hours wore on, that distraught group of people seemed to move in tandem to the largest hospital overnight, sleeping outside, hoping to receive bodies. They were still there Tuesday morning, hugging one another as their tears of grief mixed with the heavy rain. Confirmations of identities have been made but few corpses have been released as of yet._

_AA Airline spokesman, Alan Smythe expressed grief and sorrow over the tragic incident. He also promised full cooperation and disclosure. "We will be working and investigating with the aeronautical authorities to determine the causes of what happened, although I believe it is safe to say that the storm played a large part of this tragedy. The plane was no more than eight years old, and it had no known technical issues and the pilots did not make any emergency calls." _

_The plane's 'black box' flight data recorders have yet to be recovered. Information extracted from them will be key in determining the cause of the crash, which is not yet known, although authorities have said they do not suspect terrorism. _

_As of nightfall Monday evening, when recovery efforts were suspended till the morning, 90__bodies had been recovered" _

With unabashed grief, and lost hope strewn across their faces and in their hearts, the team silently gathered their gear as Tony turned off the laptop. Sorrow heavily took root in the air around them as they trouped off the plane and hustled toward their awaiting vehicles; every one of them anxious to get out there and find their teammate. They were thankful for the fact that the military plane had taken them to the airport nearest to the crash site and that there were experienced drivers ready to take them where they needed to go. Thankfully, they didn't have too far to drive before they entered the wilderness.

"It took us a while to get to the plane. The spotter planes had to look for a place to land the helicopters and we're able to get you up there without any delay since they've completed the recovery now .The landing spots are higher up the mountain than the landings down here at the bottom and hiking any injured or deceased back down the trail to get them out was out of the question early yesterday with all the mud slides going on up here. We'll have one bird standing by for you when we reach the foot of the mountain."

Gibbs nodded silently as his heart screamed out a prayer that his agent and the young man's family be found alive. The flight manifest had proven to dash his first hope and now all he had to hold on to was Abby's belief and hope that McGee was still alive.

The vehicle with Ducky, Jimmy and Ziva riding as passengers had been silent all the way to their destination. Even when they arrived at the helicopters that would take them to the crash site, neither of them spoke a word; each weighed down considerably by the horrible burden of grief and loss at the mere thought of never seeing Tim McGee alive again.

A short thirty minutes later, the NCIS team of agents and Medical Personnel now stood at the unmisteakable nightmarish sight of the crash. Standing there as silent, shocked spectators, each seemed to suck in their breath and hold it in shock, only to choke as the need to breathe mixed with the putrid odor of burned flesh and jet fuel.

The team could see that the news reports hadn't lied, but hadn't told the whole story either. Looking around in shock, it was all they could do not to lose their stomachs at the scenes of sheer destruction that met them. Tony instinctively wrapped his arm around Ziva as her cool, calm façade broke and a sob escaped her lips. To be honest, he needed that connection as well and needed to be grounded by the simple action that holding onto Ziva bought with it.

"Gibbs!" Fornell called to his stunned friend from inside the broken body of the plane, dragging Gibbs out of his reverie.

The Team Leader moved from his place at the edge of the scene, which in turn, got the rest of his team moving. Ducky and Jimmy took themselves over to the medical personnel overseer, currently standing a few feet from the plane as others came and went, carrying body after body; none of which was still alive.

"What'd ya find, Fornell?" Gibbs asked with an unmistakable tremor in his voice.

"Your boy's bags, according to the tag tied to them. Looks like his shoes, too, judging by the plane's seating confirmations. They were close to where he was supposedly sitting. All the bodies have been taken out now, Gibbs. You'll have to check with the Medics to see who's been crossed off the passenger list as they were taken outta here. Not sure how many would have lost their shoes."

Tony reached for his partner's baggage as Ziva checked the carry-on luggage nearby for those of the McGee family. The look on their faces showed nothing but grief at what they had just heard. Gibbs turned and left the plane, wanting; needing to talk to whoever had that damn list. Trying to swallow the lump in his throat and desperately fighting to keep the tears at bay, every step felt like yet another knife thrust in his heart.

"Agent Gibbs!" a dark haired woman in a medic's uniform called to him.

He looked her way and upon seeing the clipboard in her hands, hurried to her.

"You the one with the list of who was verified and taken from here?" he asked firmly, as he worked hard to harness his emotions and get through this for his team and for himself; but mostly to get to his fallen agent and be able to take him home.

"Yes, Sir. I got a call telling me about you and your team's arrival, Agent Gibbs. I'm sorry you wasted a trip all the way up here to the site, but there were no survivors and as of this last trip, all bodies have now been retrieved. All the leg work; the hard work, was done yesterday and early this morning. Your agent's family have already been identified and taken down the mountain. Their bodies are already on their way to the city morgue. They'll be taken care of and prepared for their trip back to D.C. with you. I'm Angela, by the way."

Gibbs nodded silently as he felt numbness begin to overcome him. "Wait! What about my agent?"

"Timothy McGee?" she asked for clarification.

"Yeah. You said his family's been identified but you didn't say anything about him." Gibbs reminded her with a touch of impatience.

Angela stared at him with confusion for a long minute.

"Agent Gibbs, Your Timothy McGee was not on this plane."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hey everyone - Shelbylou and I want to take this moment to thank all of you who have patiently waited for each update.  
We humbly apologise for the delays - it is a crazy busy time of year and life tends to get in the way of writing and posting._

_We hope that this new chapter - and the fact that it is being posted in the same week as the previous one - will help ease the frustration  
and who knows - maybe even as a Christmas Present to you - we **might **even have the next chapter out today, too._

_Merry Christmas everyone!_

_

* * *

_

_"Agent Gibbs, Your Timothy McGee was not on this plane."_

"That' not possible! The flight manifest says he was! His carry-on bag…" Gibbs corrected her as he pointed to Tony who was now carrying Tim's bag off the plane, along with one that might have been Sarah McGee's, judging by the pink color that dominated it. "Was found on the plane, right were the manifest says he was supposed to be sitting – with his family – and you already said you've found and identified them!"

"Agent Gibbs, I'm telling you Agent McGee wasn't on this flight. Then again, some of the passengers were burned pretty badly and haven't yet been identified. Maybe he's one of them?"

"How would that be possible if he was sitting with his family and they've been identified already?" Tony asked angrily as the sheer anger at the loss of his teammate began to overtake him.

"It's possible, Agent..?"

"DiNozzo!" Tony barked at her.

"Tony." Gibbs quietly admonished.

"Sorry." Tony offered with a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

"No need, Tony. I understand that this is really tough for you all. It's a bad situation and I can't do or say anything to make you feel any better. I'm sorry, I can't help you any further, but we found no trace of your Agent on this flight." she replied sympathetically.

"No trace? His bag's right here!" Tony gave back with heat.

"DiNozzo, knock it off and go tell Ducky McGee's missing or possibly among the yet to be identified." Gibbs quietly ordered his Senior Field Agent knowing he needed something to do.

"On it, Boss." Tony answered quietly as he glared angrily at the woman who'd just given them news that didn't make sense in the midst of this tragedy. They had yet to process or fully make sense of everything that was going on, so tempers were fraying pretty quickly. Turning away, he almost ran into Ziva and pulled her by the sleeve so she'd turn around and accompany him to talk to Ducky.

"Tony? What is the problem?" Ziva asked with concern.

"Stupid woman's trying to say Probie never got on this flight! Says he hasn't been located! Can you believe that?" Tony answered her incredulously.

"Anthony, please, calm yourself!" Ducky calmly admonished him as the angry agent's words reached him while he and Jimmy were carefully picking their way through the section of the plane closest to Tony and Ziva.

"Ducky, you don't understand!" Tony yelled angrily.

"Tony! Do not take this out on Ducky!" Ziva admonished him.

"On the contrary, Anthony, your anger carried your words quite well and I do understand. While it is quite unusual, it is not impossible. Now, I have ascertained that there are no more bodies, either alive or deceased here at the site and it is time for me to turn my attention to those that need my help; the medical personnel have more than enough work to do in order to get to the end of this tragedy. Come, Mr. Palmer, we are needed elsewhere." The M.E. announced as he took himself over to where Gibbs was still glaring at the poor woman who'd given him the disturbing news.

"Duck?" Gibbs asked without another minute gone by.

"Jethro, there is little your team can do here. Mr. Palmer and I will avail ourselves to the medical personnel who need assistance identifying those passengers who have not been identified and see what we can to help return that dignity to them." Ducky answered somberly.

"Okay. Where's Tony and Ziva?" Gibbs asked him somberly.

Ducky pointed to where Tony and Ziva were headed in their direction. "It's safe to say, Jethro, that Anthony's scarred lungs are holding up fairly well in this high altitude, but do be watchful of his breathing ability, won't you? He does have an inhaler with him for emergency use but hopefully, he won't strain his lungs to the point that he will need to use it. I shall see you all later. Now, my dear. Angela? Would you show me where we can go to make ourselves useful?"

"Sure, Doctor Mallard. Agent Gibbs, I'm really sorry we don't have better news for you. But, if he wasn't on this flight, it's entirely possible he's still alive and well and back in California."

* * *

Thirty painfully silent minutes later, Ziva, Gibbs and Tony were back down at the bottom of the mountain and within seconds, the Team Leader was on the phone to his Lab Rat.

"Abbs, need you to triple check that flight manifest."

"_Gibbs! Why? What's going on?"_ Abby's voice was frantic and it was obvious that she had a deluge of questions that she demanded answers to.

"Abbs, he wasn't on the flight according to the medics who cleared the scene." the team leader informed her.

"_Gibbs! How is that even possible?" _she cried in disbelief

"I dunno, Abbs. That's what we need to find out. Let me know what you find out about the passenger list. See if you can get the security footage from the airport, too. We'll help you go through it as soon as you send us the feed. We'll be back at the hotel in about twenty minutes. We can set up the link then."

"_Okay. Gibbs, this is GOOD news, right? It means I was right! He's alive!" _Gibbs pushed away the sudden need to wrap Abby up in his arms and soothe her nerves.

"Dunno, Abbs. We need you to concentrate on getting us that footage. Need you to keep your head in the game."

"_You can count on me, Gibbs! I'll find him!"_

"I know, Abbs. I know."

* * *

Four long and strenous hours later, Ducky and Palmer returned to the hotel room exhausted and down trodden. With a silent compassionate nod of his head, Ducky had his assistant silently padding off to their room; obviously a silent conversation taking place between them. Turning to the rest of the team who looked as haggard and emotionally beaten as he felt, the M.E. prepared himself for what he knew was about to come. His news would rock them off their feet, that much he knew.

"Jethro, all bodies pulled from the plane have now been identified and accounted for. I'm afraid, Timothy is not among them."


	5. Chapter 5

Tony was up on his feet and shoving his feet into his hiking boots in a flash and whipping out his phone "Ziva, gear up, Probie's lost up on that mountain and we're going back after him!"

"Anthony! You cannot rush up there at this time of the evening, dear boy! I know you need to find him, but it is impossible for you to do so in the dark." Ducky's surprise at seeing Tony move the way he did at the news gave way to a deep concern that he would go out and spend the night looking. Owing to the fact that it was dark anyway, the M.E. knew that there were also predatory animals out there and that Tony needed to rest since he wasn't at optimum condition due to his lungs and the time spent up in the thin air earlier in the day to begin with.

"Duck, you and Palmer headed back to D.C. with his family?" Gibbs asked quietly as he let Tony vent to Ziva unchecked on the other side of the room for a minute.

"Yes, Jethro. We are accompanying Timothy's poor departed family in the morning." The M.E. answered tiredly. It had been an extremely exhausting day.

"Need you to call and give Vance the update you just gave me. Tell him we need you need to stay here with us. We're gonna need you to help us when we find McGee. It's a pretty safe bet, he's gonna be in serious need of medical attention that won't wait for the medics to make it up there. I'm sure Palmer's more than capable of escorting McGee's family back to NCIS, Duck."

"Yes, well I must admit, I would feel remarkably better if there was a medically trained person in your search party, Jethro. There is little doubt that you are quite right in your belief as to the state we will in all likilhood find our poor Timothy. It will also give me ample opportunity to keep an eye on Anthony's lungs for the duration of his time in the thinner air while we search." Ducky offered without argument.

"Thanks, Duck. Let me know what he says. Oh, and Ducky, tell him not to say anything about this to Abby. He needs to keep her focused on something besides McGee. I don't want her building her hopes up. We don't know what kinda shape he'll be in when we find him," Gibbs requested as he pulled out his own phone and called the rangers to arrange transportation back up the mountain first thing in the morning.

"Agreed, Jethro. But haven't you already told, Abigail that Timothy wasn't on the plane?"

"Yeah. She knows. Doesn't mean she needs to know anything else yet, though."Gibbs said quietly knowing that Abby would be worried anyway and that giving her any more information about why Ducky was staying would probably throw her completely over the edge.

"I see. That's fine, I shall go make the call. Do make certain that Anthony packs several breathing inhalers, won't you please? " Ducky walked out of the room, leaving Gibbs standing there listening to Tony's frantic tones on the phone. He hoped Jimmy was still sleeping, as the poor kid had been obviously completely exhausted both physically and mentally when they'd made it back to the hotel room. The atmosphere was dark, heavy and cloying, leaving Gibbs feeling slightly overwhelmed. He sat on the bed and rubbed his hand over his eyes…_why Tim? He doesn't deserve this._

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Thirty minutes before daybreak the next morning, Ziva, Tony, Ducky and Gibbs were enroute back to the foot of the mountain after seeing Jimmy on his way back to the city morgue to secure the safe delivery of the McGee family. They had decided that it would be best for him to go and get things ready so that the journey for Tim's beloved parents and sister would be uneventful and respectful, just as they deserved.

The ride for the agents and Ducky was a quiet one since no one felt like talking, each of them too wrapped up in their own thoughts and hopes of finding Tim alive and as well as they could expect after all they'd just witnessed at the crash site. None of them knew what to expect and none of them knew how they were going to deal with Tim's injuries knowing that not only would the physical aspect come into play, but the emotional aspect as no doubt, grief and heartache would factor in somewhere along the line.

The park ranger driving them back to the pick up site for the chopper ride up to the top, handed each of them a walkie talkie as they got out of the vehicle "They've got fresh batteries, so you should be all right for the day."

Before he could say anything else, another SUV arrived bearing four park rangers pulled up and they jumped all jumped out quickly to join them while the lead ranger continued to speak.

"You'll each have a ranger with you so you can search in pairs. They'll be at your disposal til the last chopper ride back down the mountain at dusk. You'll need to be at the pickup point by 5 pm because the pilots won't fly down this mountain in the dark. If you find your man before then, give them a shout."

"Thanks. We'll start our search from the point of the crash. Need you to be prepared to send up reinforcements if we don't find him within 2 hours." Gibbs answered quietly.

"Agent Gibbs. If you don't find him within two hours, I'm not too sure sending reinforcements up there will be of much help." The ranger told him with brutal honesty.

Gibbs glared at him with all the warring emotions he had bottled up at the moment; rage, fear, hopelessness, deep set worry, anguish… all of it shining brightly in his eyes for that brief moment until the Ranger gave him a look of abject apology and nodded in silent agreement to do as the Agent had requested.

The Team Leader headed over to his team with his heart in his throat. He couldn't help but hope like hell that they'd find Tim soon and get him the hell down off this mountain and to the hospital where he could get checked over by medical experts. Surviving a crash like this had to have caused the kid some serious physical damage and it was pretty much a given fact that wandering around up on the mountain alone wasn't helping either. Add to that the_ 'God only knows what else was wrong with him'_ scenario and Gibbs couldn't help but have agonizing questions running around in his head. _Did he even realize his family was dead? Did he understand what he'd just lived through? Was he even alive?_

"We're gonna find him, Boss." Tony declared with all the conviction he possessed in his soul. "We all saw that airport security footage. He got on the flight. So, he's gotta be up here on this mountain somewhere."

"Abby was right after all." Ziva reminded them with relief.

"We're not calling her until we have him back with us." Gibbs ordered quietly, still shaken by the questions that had just been running through his mind.

"Understood, Boss." Tony replied quietly. He certainly relished the idea of not saying anything to his little sister until there was good news to share with her but still had that shadow of worry about how she was coping. Right now, he knew and understood that their situation at the moment was more important, but all his emotions were fighting against themselves and he was struggling to keep them in check.

"Understood, Gibbs." Ziva answered in her own quiet tone. She was relieved that Abby was to be left unawares until such time that there was good news to let her in on. She and McGee had been much too close for her to be having anything but an extremely difficult time as it was right now.

Ducky remained solomnly silent, his thoughts too full of both sorrow for what young Timothy must be going through and medical scenerios that they might be facing when he was located.

As the noise of the arriving chopper began to fill the air, Gibbs quickly looked at his people. "Duck, you got everything you need; plenty of medical supplies, a flashlight and water for yourself?"

"Yes, Jethro. I'm ready. I've even strapped on a backboard and packed plenty of strong rope to secure him to it. There's a good chance we're going to need it for Timothy when we find him." the M.E. answered as he was pulled from his thoughts.

Gibbs nodded at him and sent the same silent questions to his agents.

"Yeah, Boss. I'm good." Tony vowed vehemently, the impatience clear in his voice.

"Yes, Gibbs. I am also good." Ziva promised.

"Tony. We do this right, not fast. We all want him found." Gibbs warned calmly as he took in his Senior Field Agent's antsy demeanor.

Tony huffed out a breath of air. "I know, Boss. I know. It's just….."

"I know, Tony. I know." Gibbs offered in return. "Just remember. We get in too big of a hurry to cover the ground up there and we'll wind up walking right past him. None of us want that."

"Yeah." Tony breathed out on a breath of pain at the thought of doing just that. The last thing in the world they wanted to do is pass Tim by, leaving him alone up there.

Two choppers touched down shortly thereafter and four people quickly jumped on both, allowing the birds to quickly take off and get them up to the crash site.

Although the ride didn't take long, it felt like an eternity. When they finally landed, they quickly made their way over to the site of the crash and cringed as the smells of aviation fuel and charred bodies assaulted them yet again. The stench seemed to hang horribly in the air and was just as strong as it had been yesterday; it was sickening and they all knew that it would be something that would stay with them for a long time to come. There were no more medical personnel here now, but there were plenty of FBI and NTSB folks to be found. Spying Fornell, Gibbs breathed out a sigh of relief and headed over to him.

"Gibbs! What the hell are you doin' back here? " the lead FBI Agent asked in surprise.

"He's missing, Tobias. Somehow, McGee walked away from this. He's up here on this mountain and I want every single person working this site to know what he looks like in case he stumbles back here or they stumble across him close by."

"He walked away? From this? Damn! I can't imagine he'd be in too good a shape by now." Fornell reminded him sadly.

"Yeah, I know, That's why Ducky's here. His assistant took McGee's family back to D.C. You gonna call these people together or not? Time's a wastin', Fornell, we've got a man to find."

Tobias used his whistle they were all wearing, to call all of the investigators to his attention. "Gather round! Hurry up, No time to lose!"

When the group was huddled and obviously chock full of curiosity as the noise level within the bunch gave testament to, Gibbs sent out his own whistle to shut them up. As soon as they'd gone silent, he spoke up.

"Listen up! We are looking for NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee! We believe he has walked away from the crash, so he's most likely disorientated and probably seriously hurt! If you find him or if he stumbles back here to the site, do NOT tell him any details about his family! In fact, Don't tell him any details about this crash at all! You find him, you call me immediately! Fornell has my number. Now, Ducky here needs you to listen to what he has to say. He's the Medical personnel for my team."

"We have no way of knowing what injuries Timothy may have received when the plane crashed. Walking away from it injured will have no doubt made his condition worse. There's a good chance he'll need to be stabilized due to his injuries, so, if you find him, don't be too quick to move him around. Make sure you check his limbs for any signs of breaks. Just keep him as still as you can and give him plenty of water and maybe even a little food. Not a lot, we don't want his stomach to give him a hard time. Also do what you can to treat him for the shock his body will no doubt be dealing with. Have blankets and clothing available from whatever you can salvage within the plane's luggage. And call Agent Gibbs the minute you find him!"

Holding up the walkie talkie he'd had just taken from where it had been clipped to his waist, Ducky handed it to Fornell. "We don't want to run into cell phone signal problems when he's found. Use this."

Fornell nodded and took the device, and clipped it to his own waist before turning back to his crew of people while he held up a photo of Tim that he'd just taken off the stack of them in Ziva's hands.

"All right! Here is what he looks like. Agents Da'vid and DiNozzo have copies of his photo. Take one and look at it good. It's important that you know who it is you're looking at when you find him, especially, if he's disorientated." Fornell added as the group disassembled and everyone took a copy of the photo that Ziva had had the good sense to make copies of the night before.

Gibbs clasped his friend on the shoulder. "Thanks, Tobias. You find him, call me. We're heading out."


	6. Chapter 6

_Hello everyone!_

_Once again...We know, We know...We're sorry. 2011 has not been a good year so far for lil' ole' me (Shelbylou) and between the good old crap that life has thrown at me and the loss of my lil' puddycat, i've walked head on into a battle with the blues._

_Smartkid has been fantastically patient and for that I thank her wholeheartedly and..I can almost hear you saying 'again?'...it's me holding up proceedings._

_Anyway, we're sorry (I'm sorry) and hope that this long chapter will help you find a way of putting down those pitchforks that you have pointed at us and have mercy on these two little writers...Pretty please?...with a cherry on top?..._

_Ok, go on now and enjoy. Hopefully some of the questions have been answered, but if not the don't despair because we have a plan...kinda...sorta lol - Shelbylou_

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_Where was he? How had he gotten here?...Hell, where was here? _He was cold and miserable. His body was trembling from the cold, shock and exhaustion that threatened to overwhelm him. The soles of his feet felt as though they had been sanded with the coursers sandpaper available...sandpaper and sawdust...the thought of the two flashed through his mind and he found them familiar to him. Familiar, but still strangely distant as though they evoked a memory, but it hovered on the cusp of his conscious mind, just out of reach. With a frown, he tried to bring it to the forefront of his mind but came up with nothing but questions. Why? Why did they seem to mean something to him? It didn't matter, not now. Right now his main concern was surviving. With a reserved sigh, he finally looked down at his feet and realized he had no shoes on. _Why was he barefoot?_

It had taken time; time spent wandering around in a haze, before finding the shelter that would protect him from the elements. It was an automatic survival instinct because his mind was far to clouded to actually think about what he was doing. And now, here he was tucked up inside this hollowed out log, laying flat as he could to utilize the small space as well as he could. At least it was comfortable...well, as comfortable as it could be given the circumstances, with both ends of it stuffed full of leaves, twigs and bracken that provided him with a makeshift pillow and some degree of warmth for his frozen feet. He let his mind drift completely as his body let the exhaustion pull him down; never sleeping, no, he just lay there quietly waiting. still and silent as the time he couldn't measure, passed him by.

As he lay there, still and silent as the time he couldn't measure, passed him by, random images started to creep through the fog. Sure, he couldn't remember his name, but what he did start to remember was being on a plane. He remembered that plane crashing through the trees and thick brush of the mountains. He even remembered being in the plane's restroom washing his hands when it had happened. He hadn't even been sitting in his seat by the window, something that was a blessing in disguise because no doubt he wouldn't have survived if he had.

_Why had he been on the plane? Where had it been heading? Why couldn't he remember that? Why couldn't he remember his name?_ He remembered waking up; consciousness returning slowly and painfully, as he woke up, sitting on the floor of the plane's restroom like a discarded ragdoll leaning against the door that he'd been thrown against. The pain had been damn near unbearable as his injuries made themselves know and it had taken him some time to gather enough strength to force himself to get up out of that cramped space. He'd faced a moment of panic when the possibility of not being able to open the door presented itself and he struggled against the door and a lock that wouldn't release easily. As he'd fought that panic, he'd also fought the waves of pain that washed through his physical body as he reached out and grasped the door lock one more time, finally managing to get the door open using nothing but sheer, brute force. It was a surprise when the door finally opened and he stumbled slightly as it gave way and finally gave him access to the world outside the one that he'd woken up in.

The harsh light of daylight had blinded him as he made his way fully out of the plane's bathroom and it had sent shards of pain through his head as it assaulted his eyes. He remembered the sheer despondency as he'd grasped at his head and rubbed at his eyes before quickly ducking into what had once been the main body of the plane. It was nothing but a shattered carcass now, and he had cringed at the sight of the outside world encroaching into the safe haven that should have kept everyone safe as they travelled. His eyes still hadn't adjusted properly, but he had seen a large, jagged hole to the right of him and he turned to walk out into the open, shaded area that now held the remains of not only the plane that he had apparently been on, but the bodies of the passengers that had been there..._Oh God! How many people had there been? Was there other survivors? He was alive, so why not_? His gut twisted with the sure-fire knowledge that everything around him was nothing like it should be and that something was horribly wrong, and he'd waited until his eyes adjusted to the light before he carefully turned his focus to the broken and smoldering plane in front of him. There had been a hell of a lot of people on this plane and he remembered thinking that they probably needed help...if they'd survived.

Without a second thought, he'd walked back to the gaping hole that he had walked out of and held his breath as he made his way back inside. It was everything, if not worse than he had imagined and he realized just by the catastrophic scene that had stared back at him, that somehow something horribly terrible had just happened and that somehow, by the sheer grace of God; he had survived the trauma. It was a trauma that he just couldn't remember...hell, he couldn't remember what had happened prior to waking up, and all he knew was that whatever happened, the plane had obviously hit some problem before coming down. It had obviously thrown him about enough to completely knock him out. In a way, he was grateful because he had missed the worst of it.

He tried to take it all in and even now, as he lay there in his safe haven, the stench of smoke and jet fuel invaded his senses, and the sight of his fellow passengers in the plane strewn amongst the fallen hand luggage seemed to be burnt into the deepest depths of his mind. A small shudder ran through him and he felt the cold starting to infuse his battered body as the memories threatened to send him into shock. He swallowed hard and let his mind drift back to the memories. It had been something that he had needed to do, but something in his mind told him that these people needed help, so he had pushed away his own pain, and went about going from person to person to check for signs of life. He couldn't have walked away from any of them knowing that there might just be a chance that one of them could be alive, but the cold, hard truth of the matter was that every person he'd checked, was gone. He had fought against the rising tide of physical pain and felt the emotional sorrow jar his troubled soul as he made his way through the bodies. Once done, he sat heavily against a tree trunk that shouldn't have been there in the middle of the plane, and sobbed for the lost souls before him. With every tear, he felt the pain and the hopelessness engulf him until he couldn't take anymore and stood up to gather himself together.

_His name?...what was his name?_ He still didn't know that one, simple bit of information about himself. It hadn't bothered him whilst trying to help everyone else, but all of a sudden, it had become something that he desperately needed to know. He had taken a moment to think before making his way back down to where he'd started; looking at each piece of luggage to see if the tags had bore information that he would recognize. They didn't, just like he didn't recognize any of the passengers. He had come up empty and it had pretty much mirrored how he felt inside. With a sigh, he'd turned and gazed down the aisle and it was only then, that he had noticed the large, cavernous hole with a tree in the middle marked where the other half of the plane should have been and he couldn't help but gape at the forest outside. The sense of horror and sorrow that washed through him, had driven him to his knees and the tears that he'd gotten under control a short time ago, poured down his face once again. All this death and yet he was alive among them. Why? What could he possibly have done that he would have deserved to live when all of these people had died?

That had been the final straw and he had been overwhelmed by the desire to move. It was too much for his mind to process and he was finding it too much to accept. He forced himself to get up, only this time, his injuries made themselves known and he had felt the fire blazing away through his chest with every breath he took. Adrenaline...he remembered thinking that it was the reason he felt nothing at the time but at that moment, it had ebbed and had left him more than aware of his injuries. He had tried to rationalize the pain in his chest and had come to the conclusion, that at best, he had bruised ribs; the worst case didn't really bear thinking about. He had tried to take smaller, less forceful breaths to lessen the pain and stumbled back out of the plane into torrent of rain that had started to fall. As he had stood there, with the rain beating down on him, he'd shivered and thought about the need to find somewhere dry and warm...preferably away from the destruction.

He remembered worrying about the wildlife attacking him; especially after he noticed the blood that oozed from the numerous cuts and gashes on his arms and legs. They were pretty much the reason he had stopped to take stock of his injures and a quick rundown had told him that one of his shoulders was painfully out of place and his head was splitting with pain; his vision blurred and unfocused to the degree that he thought he might have a concussion. The heavy rains had only served to drench him, leaving him feeling chilled to the bone and shivering harshly in the cold wind that thrashed around him. It was another reason why he'd needed to find shelter urgently because on top of everything else, hypothermia wasn't something that he wanted to add to his list.

He was pulled suddenly out of his memories by the sound of underbrush being walked through carelessly. The snapping of twigs and the sound of footsteps on the sodden ground seemed to disturb the tranquil surroundings, and was so loud that it could be heard over the rainfall. Truth be told, he was surprised he heard that much over the large raindrops pounding on top of his wooden shelter, but the steps were loud, and probably closer than he would like at that moment. But, he had heard it and his breath hitched in his throat. Deep down, he knew he should get out and hail down whoever was there, but memories of a law enforcement agency that was vaguely familiar left him wondering whether he was a fugitive or not..._but I can't be. I was in the bathroom with no handcuffs or shackles. Who am I? _

He decided to climb out and ask for the help he desperately needed only to be startled into complete silence by a thud on top of the log. Desperate thoughts flew through his head..._Animals? If It's an animal it's big. What if._..? _I remember being in a forest, but where? What if there's bears, wolves or anything else that can hurt me. _He lay there stock still until he heard voices and realized that they weren't animals, they really were people. He remained motionless and held his breath so he could listen to what they were saying.

_"DiNozzo. If you need to go back, then go back!"_ T

hat voice. So familiar but at the same time completely alien to him. He felt overwhelmed by the thought of sawdust and sandpaper for a moment and shook his head. The one thing that he'd been trying to figure out, seemed to fall into the forefront of his mind at that voice..._why?_

_"I'm good...Boss. Just need...to catch...my breath a minute. Just need a shot of my inhaler." _Why does that worry him? The breathless man was obviously sitting on the log, but why does the fact that this man is obviously struggling make his gut twist. He heard a rattling noise before a whoosh that sounded like an inhaler being utilized and frowned.

_"Anthony, are you okay my dear boy?"_ Oh that voice, that smooth English accent with a slight...Scottish? Twang, now that one is calming. An effect he knew all too well but couldn't figure out why.

_"I'm good, Ducky. Let's go."_ He panicked and moved his hands to thump on top of the place he had crawled into but before he got that far, he felt the shelter shift harshly.

_"Woah!"_ He heard the voice of the man who had been sitting on the log clearly before feeling the log starting to roll a heartbeat later.

He felt the panic engulf him as the careening log tossed him about and he found himself flashing back to being thrown about harshly in a smaller room. He tried to raise his arms to protect his face and stop the bits of bracken getting into his eyes as he was showered with the very thing that he was using as a pillow to keep him warm and comfortable. He tried to call out but his voice had abandoned him only to be replaced by a hoarseness that got lost over the crashing of the log as it hit the ground time and time again. He tried shouting out again but still no sound, instead, there was a sickening crack as he lost his battle to hold his head away from the edge and it crashed against the side of the log. There was a jolt of pain before nothingness crept in and darkness finally claimed him.

Waking up proved difficult as the two head injuries took their toll. Awareness crept in slower than it had before and he found himself sitting there trying to physically shake the dense fog that had once again, invaded his mind, out..._What?...Where am...twigs?_

Confusion wouldn't let go and it took him some time to figure out what this dark, damn, unyielding tomb was. Log! He was in a log that had..._Oh my God, it rolled. _Someone had pushed it over the edge! He lifted his head and winched at the pain that exploded there. It was throbbing in time with his heartbeat and every beat seemed to disorientate him briefly. He lay his head back and breathed deeply through the pain. Come on! You have to get out! Now!...With one last deep breath, he slowly turned onto his front and got up on his hands and knees; thankful that the log was big enough in side that he could just about do that. He started to slowly crawl out and winched as the harsh light of day assaulted his eyes and compounded his headache.

"Damn it!" he said and rubbed his hand over his eyes and opened them a crack so that they could acclimatize. He turned and stumbled slightly and was only stopped when his hand landed flat on the log, breaking his fall. With a sigh, he sat down heavily and tried to get his bearings; bearings that were pretty much useless given the fact he had no idea where he was. He listened carefully to see if he could hear the voices above the wind, but all he heard was the sound of the forest as the strong breeze filtered through the trees. He felt his shoulders slump with dejection knowing that he was alone again and sat there sadly as the natural flora and fauna of the forest passed him by.

He had no idea how long he had sat there or, but was startled when a drop of rain fell on his forehead and trickled down his face leaving a wet trail in its wake. "Oh that's just great!" he said out loud before turning his head upwards just in time for the rain to fall. Strangely, it was refreshing and he kept his head turned towards it and let the water falling from the heaven's soothe him. With a heavy sigh, he stood up gingerly, only to fall back down when a shooting pain shot through his hip and up into his stomach...What the hell? He leaned back and groaned with his hand hovering over his hip joint before lifting his shirt and glancing down at the injury. It looked angry with huge black bruise that now covered his lower abdomen and disappeared down into the waistband of his trousers. He knew that when he finally looked, the bruise would be there, adorning his hip as well.

_"C'mon, DiNozzo! We have to make it to that landing zone if we're gonna get off this mountain tonight!" _

His gaze was torn away from his injury at the barely there voices as they carried on the wind. He grunted as he straightened up and tried to focus his eyes through the downpour.

_"Boss! We can't just leave him here! McGee's up here and we know it. I'm not leaving here without him!" _

The rain died down once again leaving him sitting there soaking wet, but more alert. The voices seemed louder now that the rain wasn't beating down and they resounded off the trees and mountains, and seemed to come back to him quiet, but clear enough that he could hear them. They sounded so familiar,... but then ...how could he be sure? They were looking for someone by the sounds of it. Was it possible that they were they looking for him? Maybe he should trust that they'd help him. He staggered to his feet and took a tentative step forward when that soothing voice washed over him once again.

_"Anthony! Timothy needs us to look for him while we are sharp and rested, dear boy. Trying to stay up here on this mountain, with your less than healthy lungs and without some rest under our belts, will not do anyone any good!"_

_"It is a good thing you were not seriously hurt when you accidentally set that log rolling, Tony. Even so, Ducky is right, you need to come with us and let us get some rest. I, too wish to find McGee. But we will not do so if we are not thinking clearly, yes?"_

No!...wait, that voice. That sweet female accented voice. Images of a gold necklace flashed through his mind as he tried to place it..._wait! They're leaving. No! They can't leave now!_ He needs help and medical attention. With a grunt, his knees give way and he finds himself kneeling on the sodden ground, the mud and the rainwater soaking into his already wet pants. "Come on! Get up!" He says hoarsely and winches at the sound of his nonexistent voice. With a sigh, he finds himself sitting back on his heels and glancing up to the grey sky above. He hasn't prayed in a long time but right now, he offers one up before staggering to his feet and slowly starting to slowly climb up the slippy incline towards where the people seem to be. The only saving grace, were the trees that sporadically appeared on the hill, giving him somewhere to stop and lean against them to catch his breath, or to use as a crutch when hoisting himself up with his bruised, battered body. It struck him, that this was the hill that he'd rolled down and just as he was about to climb over the edge, his foot slipped and he was thrown back into the trunk of a tree. He couldn't help the sob that escaped him as he slid down the trunk and landed heavily in the mud.

_"We've been through this part of the woods already, Boss! Remember? I almost busted my ass on that log when it rolled out from underneath me? Maybe if we'd stop going in circles; we could find him!" _

"You've found me! Don't...please don't go..." He whispered and shook his head as realization dawned on him. The chances of them finding him now were pretty much slim to none and it was obvious that more than one of the group were ready to give up for the night. "Please...help me..."

Tony stood at the place that the log once sat, with his arms folded across his chest and his Jaw set hard against his boss' glare.

"We're not going in circles, DiNozzo. We've gotta get back to the landing site before dark or are you planning on spending the night up here?" Gibbs barked, completely annoyed with Tony's irritation since it had long ago gotten under his skin.

"Tony! Did you not hear what I just said?" Ziva demanded and moved closer to Tony. "We need to rest and you are panting like a dog."

"Gee, thanks Ziva." Tony replied bitterly and shook his head. "We can't leave him here!"

"I believe I said that we needed rest to think clearly, yes? Tony, we need clear heads and rested bodies to be searching and it will be getting dark soon. Please, I am exhausted and as much as I want to carry on, I cannot."

"But..." Tony started to say but was stopped by Ziva's cold hand on his cheek. The chilled flesh shocked him slightly and he realized that she was right " I know you're right, But damn it!... I just...I hate leaving him up here like this!"

"Trust me, Dinozzo, we all do." Gibbs added and when Tony looked at him, he could see the heartache at leaving Tim up here in the older man's eyes.

"I know, Boss."Tony nodded once and pulled Ziva in, rubbing his hands up and down her back to try and infuse her with what little warmth he had. "When can we come back?"

"First thing. C'mon, let's get moving or that last chopper's gonna leave us. Ziva, use the radio's and call the rangers. Tell em wher..."

"No need, Jethro. They're coming to us now." Gibbs looked over to his friend and followed his gaze to four, wet, bedraggled rangers making their way through the trees towards them. He nodded once and waited for them to reach the group.

"Anything?"

"Sorry, Agent Gibbs. Nothing." The most senior one answered sadly. "And the rain will have washed his trail away now. Look, It's going to be getting dark soon and the copter won't wait."

Gibbs nodded once before answering. "We were just saying the same thing. We're gonna want to come up here first thing and will appreciate any help you boys can give."

"We'll be here, but if our boss asks, we were with you the whole time."

"Fine by us. As long as we find him. DiNozzo, we're heading out whether you like it or not."

Tony scowled at Gibbs and tightened his grip around Ziva. "Fine! But, I'm not calling Abby! YOU"RE gonna have to tell Abby the good news, Boss!"

*************  
He sat there feeling the weight of exhaustion threatening to claim him. Truth be told, he'd been running on his reserve energy and now, he didn't even have the stamina to make it the short distance back up the hill to them. He'd even drowned out the conversation for a while, but one name seemed to get his attention and he felt his mind waken briefly as he tried to piece together what had been said...Abby. Why did that name sound so familiar? Who was this Abby? Did he know her? Tattoo's...images of tattoo's came to mind randomly but he couldn't figure out why so he sat, and started listening once again, knowing that there was no way of signaling and alerting them now; especially since his body had given up completely and was currently feeling leaden and numb as he sat there.

Rock! Why the hell didn't I just throw something? Made a noise...anything! He mental admonishments made him wince as he listened on.

_"Yeah, DiNozzo, I know. I'll call her. We'll find him when we come back up here tomorrow and we'll be able to take him home and help him recover then."_ There was a pause and he tried to figure out why when he heard the voice start again. _"Hey! He's alive, DiNozzo so don't even think let that cross your mind. Next time it does, I'll head slap you hard, that you won't know what hit ya."_

A ghost of a hand connecting with the back of his head stunned him momentarily and he couldn't figure out why that threat was strangely comforting to his troubled mine. Familiarity? Who knew, what he did know, what that he was something he should remember...they were people he should remember. He shivered as the cold started to seep into his bones and thought about making his way back down to that log, but knowing it was pretty much futile now give the fact that he didn't have the energy. He sat there and let his head thump against the trunk of the tree behind him, closing his eyes.

_"Honestly, Jethro, must you be so hard on the poor boy; his lungs are obviously struggling in this air and are giving him trouble... Ah, I hear the helicopter, come, we must hurry. Good thing the landing is just through this batch of trees."_

He heard the thrum of the rotors as the helicopter came into land. A sharp pang of panic washed through him as it fully dawned on him that they were really going to leave and with an aderenaline fueled burst of energy, he stood up and started to make his way to the top of the hill, determined that he was going to get to them so he didn't have to spend the night in this hell hole.

"Wait! I'm coming! Don't leave me!" He whispered through his pants as he finally made it to the top of the hill, only to see the people vanish into the copse of trees. The whirring of helicopter blades drowned out his near silent whispered as he collapsed to his knees and leaned forward on his quivering arms. "Please...no! I can't...you can't...come back." he felt his arms give way as he fell fully to the ground, curling up against his injuries as pain washed over him in waves. He lay there listening; hoping that by the grace of God, they would somehow come back and find him there, only to be heartbroken at the sound of the helicopter taking off and disappearing into the distance. He lay there shivering with only his turbulent thoughts to keep him company and finally gave up as exhaustion finally claimed him fully. His last thoughts before he passed out, were dark and filled with a deep rooted sadness that went with him in sleep.

_Was he even who they were looking for? Would they really be back for him?...would he survive the night?_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Sorry guys. If you read bitten, then you'll all understand the reasons behind our delay._

We want to thank you all for your continued support and appreciate you all reading and enjoying our stories.

_You are all the best - Smartkid37 and Shelbylou xx_

_

* * *

_

The brief flight down from the mountain was so painful for each of them, that they all looked as though a touch of a feather would open the floodgates on their emotions, leaving a flood of sorrow, anger, guilt and despair drowning their souls. The air was thick with the unspoken magnitude of the decision they'd just had to make and the atmosphere soon became cloying as they all tried to hold on desperately to their tenuous grip on their overloaded emotions.

Drawing in a deep breath and letting it out in a pained sigh of sorrow and anger alike, Gibbs pulled out his phone as he tossed the keys to their vehicle to Tony while making his way to the passenger seat. Tony wordlessly caught them with a small nod, knowing who Gibbs was wanting to call and not envying the man right now at all. He watched as Gibbs pressed the speed dial and put the phone to his ear wearily. Gibbs glanced up at Tony and tried to offer what he thought, was a small smile; something that felt wrong given their current predicament.

_"Gibbs! You're calling to tell me that you found him, right? He's okay? I was right?"_ Abby's exuberance was loud enough for all of them in the car to hear.

"Abbs..."

_"You ARE calling to tell me GOOD news, right?_"

"Abby..."

_"NO! Do NOT tell me you're calling with bad news, Gibbs! You promised!"_

Gibbs was startled slightly by a light touch on his shoulder and felt the phone being taken away from him. When the grounding hand was removed, he watched as Ducky resumed the conversation with and nodded once to thank his old friend for helping with this most difficult of conversations.

"Abigail..."

_"Ducky? Where's Gibbs? I want to talk to Gibbs right now! He needs to tell me what is going on with Ti..._"

"Abigail!" Ducky commanded with an authoritative tone that was rarely heard from this kindly man. "Do stop for a moment and hear what needs to be said, won't you my dear? Please, this is not easy on any of us, so give us a chance to speak."

_"Ducky!..Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just...Please tell me you have good news!"_

Ducky sighed heavily at Abby's plea and knew that she was just worried and frightened that Tim would be lost to them forever. "Abigail! What I have is the promise that we will not give up looking until we find Timothy. That you can be sure of! Unfortunately, that is all I can say right now. I really do wish that we could give you good news, my dear, but I am sorry, that's just not possible right now."

_"So, there's not any BAD news, you just haven't found him yet._" Ducky couldn't help but smile at the optimism that rang through in her voice. It seemed to infuse him with a little bit of hope; the very hope that had been lost on their arduous trek through the woods looking for Tim ,as well as the heart-wrenching journey down the mountain and away from their missing young man..

"That is correct, my dear."

_"Okay, well that's...wait! You're calling me, which means you've come down off the mountain, which means you've stopped looking for today. Why aren't you still up there looking for him, Ducky?"_ Abby demanded loudly.

The little bubble of hope that he felt seemed to burst, leaving him feeling deflated once again. He shook his head and felt the anger rise within him at how shortsighted Abby could be sometimes.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Abigail! We must take care of ourselves as well. Surely you realize that if we are to be of any help to Timothy, then it will be no good for us to be going in exhausted and suffering too. Surely you realize that. Anthony's scarred lungs cannot properly function with prolonged exposure to that thin air without adequate time to recuperate. Let us not forget we all need proper rest and a fresh outlook in the morning when it will be warmer as well. It is far too cold up on the mountain at night and we haven't got the resources to mount a rescue in the dark."

_"I know, Ducky. I'm sorry. I ..."_ Abby offered apologetically and Ducky could hear the edge of tears quivering in her voice.

"I know my dear, I know and I understand that whilst you are there, you feel as though you are not doing anything to help. You are doing more than you know, but for now, carry on looking after Jethro, as well as Timothy's apartment, hmm? We will surely have more news for you tomorrow."

_"Thanks, Ducky. Can you tell Gibbs that I'm sorry? Please?"_

"Never you mind, my dear. I'm certain that Jethro knows how extremely worried about Timothy you are. We all feel the same way. Abigail. Now, we need to make our back to the hotel and the signal may not be there anymore. Have a good night, Abigail and do take care of yourself."

"Tell her to update Vance." Gibbs directed as he stared out the window at the blurry world going by as Tony drove carefully and in no hurry; his melancholy mood palpable to the rest of them. It was obvious to the rest of them that his cautious driving was a result of his concentration being held onto with the thinnest of threads.

_"I heard him, Ducky. I'll talk to the Director."_ Abby promised quietly.

"Thank you, my dear. We shall speak to you again tomorrow."

_"Bye Ducky. Say hi to Tony and Ziva for me? And tell Tony to do whatever you tell him to so he can keep from getting sick!"_

"Certainly, my dear. Good night."

_"G'nite."_

Ducky ended the call and leaned forward towards the middle of the two front seats so he could speak to Gibbs.

"Jethro, may I...?"

"Yeah." Gibbs said quietly and Ducky sighed heavily at the fact that his friend didn't even turn round. It was clear that he was feeling drained as well as overwhelmed from the emotional and physical effects of the day. It was obvious to the older man that right now, the Team Leader's mood was at an all time low as exhaustion weighed heavily on him as well. Ducky sat back in the back seat and dialed the number to the other missing member of the team.

_"Hello."_ Jimmy's voice was subdued and too quiet making Ducky feel a twang of sorrow at the job that the young man had been given.

"Hello, Mr. Palmer. How are you?"

_"Oh, Dr. Mallard. I'm...I'm okay._" He clearly wasn't and the M.E. knew exactly how badly his assistant must be feeling right now. Over the years, the two of them had struck up not only a good working relationship, but one that could only be likened to father and son. It was because of that relationship, that Ducky was able to identify the underlying sense of sorrow in the façade that Jimmy often showed.

"Did you encounter any trouble on your journey home? I do hope you did not have any difficulties?"

_"No, I didn't have any problems on the plane ride back. I got the McGee family back to DC without..."_ Jimmy sighed heavily on the other end of the phone. _"The transistion went smoothly. I've just placed them in the best suite of our hotel."_

Ducky knew that Jimmy wasn't being disrespectful and understood that it seemed wrong saying that he'd just placed them in the freezers that were in the morgue. Given the fact that the two of them often talked to the dead and treated them with the respect that they deserved; it meant that there was nothing bad about the comment.

_"Uhm, Dr. Mallard, did you...were you able to...?"_

"Unfortunately not, Mr. Palmer. We will return to the mountain at first light and hopefully this time we shall find Timothy." The M.E. replied sadly.

"Not leaving without him this time." Tony muttered from the driver's seat. Ziva reached across to Tony and placed what she hoped was a comforting hand on his shoulder in silent support of what he was feeling. Gibbs, in his own way of silently supporting Tony's anguish at not finding Tim, didn't object to his decree.

_"Ah, I see. I'm sorry to hear that. I know we're not performing autopsies on Tim's family. Wait. **Are** we performing autopsies on them, Dr. Mallard?"_ Jimmy asked.

Ducky heard the slight panic in his voice and understood how the young man could feel so uncertain. He had felt it himself when he'd performed the autopsy on Caitlin; it was mre than the deep, resounding grief that you bear, it's the feeling of 'wrongness' that comes with knowing the person that you are about to perform such an invasive operation on. It's the tight, queasiness that is never there with strangers; you are helping them then, though with the people you know and love...well, that's a different story.

"No, fortunately not Mr. Palmer. There will be no need and with me up here, I wouldn't expect you do perform them alone anyway. Given the fact that all of the deceased passed away due to the crash, I don't think it will be necessary to put the families through anymore pain. " Ducky reassured the young man and couldn't keep his own sadness from seeping out in his tone.

_"There's no one but Tim to mourn the McGee family now." _Jimmy lamented absentmindedly. _"Oh...I'm sorry, that was out of line."_

"Albeit true, Jimmy. I am sure that once we find young Timothy, he will be relieved to know that his family has been so well looked after. I am sure we can keep them safe until he is ready."

_"Yes we can. If we're not doing autopsies then..."_ Jimmy paused momentarily and Ducky could almost hear the young man thinking on the receiving end of the phone.

"Jimmy?" In lieu of what had happened, and how brilliant Jimmy had been, the M.E. decided that using the young man's given name would help ease his stress, somehow.

_"I'm here. Dr. Mallard, I'm gonna make my way to the airport right now so I can get the next plane back out there. I need to help look for Tim, please, Dr. Mallard. I'll pay my own way. I know the Agency probably can't sanction the expense. But, I have to help. I need to..."_ Jimmy's voice broke and Ducky just knew that the young man's emotions were hanging on a fine silk thread, just like the rest of them. All of a sudden, the pain was there, rising to the surface as the M.E. had rarely heard from him before.

"Jimmy! Oh my! Dear boy, please calm yourself. I do apologise. I didn't think about how this would affect you. I understand how desperately you wish to come back out here and help us search for Timothy. However, I have an equally important task for you. One I'm sure Timothy would be most grateful to you for while he is unable to do so for himself." Ducky asked. "We all would."

_"Anything I can do to help, Dr. Mallard."_ Jimmy vowed. _"What is it you need from me?"_

"Watch over Abigail. She will be looking after Timothy's dog and apartment and we would be eternally grateful if you could be there for her." Ducky knew that giving Jimmy this task would ultimately mean that the two members of the team stuck in DC would have each other to lean on. They would be able to be there for each other when needed which would hopefully help them both. "Keep her company and see to it that she gets where she needs to go safely. With everything on her mind at this time, it might very well become a matter of her losing focus while she is driving."

_"Of course, Dr. Mallard. I'll look out for her. You're right, Tim would want someone to do that."_

"I knew we could count on you, Mr. Palmer. Thank you." Ducky offered before ending the call. With a sigh, he tapped Gibbs on the shoulder and handed him the phone.

"Everything alright?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"I think so. As I'm sure you heard, Mr. Palmer wants to come back out and assist with the search, but I believe his efforts would be put to better use taking care of Abigail for us."

"What about McGee's family, Ducky?" Ziva asked gently. Ducky glanced across and could see that her eyes were shining brightly in the dark interior of the car. "What I mean is; what will happen to them now?"

"Ziva, Timothy's family will always be looked after. Mr Palmer will treat them with the greatest respect so that when Timothy is ready to deal with them, they will be as perfect as we can make them."

"It sounds so wrong." She replied and wiped at her eyes. Exhaustion, stress and worry hit her like a mack-truck all of a sudden and the usually stoic member of the team broke down. Ducky unbuckled himself from his seatbelt and slid across the seat. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her stiffen slightly before relaxing totally in his embrace. The M.E. knew it was hard for her to accept this show of comfort and support, but he wasn't' going to leave her to suffer.

"Come now, Ziva. Timothy has us." He soothed gently and felt her grip on him gently loosen slightly. "We will not abandon him."

"It might not be enough."

"What do you mean, Ziva?" Ducky questioned softly and glanced up to see Gibbs stretching round to hear the conversation. The pain of his own family's tragic deaths seemed to be returning to the younger man's eyes even as he remained silently listening to Ziva as she attempted to voice what she was feeling. Ducky's heart bled for Jethro as well as for the rest of his team and what they were going through.

"We can do our best, but he has lost his family, Ducky. That pain is not one that ever goes away."

Ducky tightened his arms around Ziva and let her silent tears moisten his jacket. The silence that had been thick and cloying seemed to get more dense as the unspoken 'I should know' hung in the air. It was common knowledge that Ari, Ziva's brother, had died at her own hand and despite killing one of the team and gunning for the others, he was still her family; her blood. It was a pain that she hid for many years and now, that Tim would be facing that grief, on a larger scale, she finally let the tears fall. Tears for her own loss; for _Tim_...and for Tim's family.


	8. Chapter 8

As they journeyed back to their hotel rooms, each one of them remained silently immersed in anger; anger at themselves for not being able to find Tim and anger at the world for being so cruel. . No one had anything to say that would be of any help to them and none of them could find a single thing to focus on outside of the heart breaking realization that they'd left their man behindagain.

They were all so deep in their own thoughts, that the time that passed between Ducky handing his phone back and it ringing again, seemed to be almost immediate. In reality, there was a good 10 minutes that had passed and everyone started when the ring cut through their thoughts. The Team Leader was in no mood to talk to anyone right now, but he did have an Agency to answer to and with his luck, it was Vance calling. Without looking at his phone, he bit the bullet and answered the call.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

"_Jethro, any luck finding your man?" _Gibbs sighed heavily at the sound of his friend's unexpected voice.

"No, Tobias. We're going back up at daybreak."

"_I'm sorry to hear that.. Listen, I just wanted to let you know that we've left a couple of blankets from the plane's supply cabinets and a change of clothes from a passenger's luggage where McGee would be sure to see them if he does wander back to the plane while no one's there. Left him a good flashlight, too. We're gonna reimburse that family for the clothes, so don't worry about it. Left a couple of bottles of water and some of the plane's onboard snacks for him too. Figured it might be needed since I hadn't heard anything from you. It seems weird doing it that way, but it's not like we can just run to the local store to grab the stuff we need."_ Fornell's voice was shaky even as he tried to reassure the Team Leader that the FBI investigating the scene had done what they could for the missing NCIS Agent.

"Thanks, Tobias. Appreciate that."

"_Not a problem. Wish we coulda done more. Hopefully, he'll wander back there and find the stuff."_

"We can hope."

"_We're done up there, Jethro. Unfortunately, I'm up to my neck in my agency's crap. Otherwise, I'd come help you look for him." _

Gibbs knew that Tobias was genuinely rueful and his words were true. Despite the fact that they put up the front that they annoyed the hell out of each other in work, the two of them were firm friends and had been for years. "I know. You've done plenty to help, Fornell. Appreciate it." He tried to infuse his voice with the sincerity by which his sentiment was meant, but to him, it still sounded flat and tired and he hoped that his friend would understand.

"_Keep me posted?"_

"Yeah."

A deep, unpenetratable sadness seemed to have permeated the air and hung around them after the last phone call and as they journeyed back to the hotel rooms, no one seemed to be in the mood to speak; though Ziva had sat up abruptly as Gibbs was talking. Now, she sat there stoically, trying to rein in her emotions after her outburst. They all knew she'd be embarrassed, but what she didn't know was that they were all pleased to see that human side to her. The side that wasn't the _ninja chick; _The side that didn't put up a solid brick wall that created a barrier between her and them. Now, that wall was once again being rebuilt minute by silent minute and the barriers that she created around herself were getting strong once again, as well.

* * *

"Anthony, I want you to take a long hot shower." Ducky instructed the obviously still struggling young man as they entered their hotel room. The agent was worrying the M.E. slightly since Tony's panting breaths had become more pronounced once they were out of the car and moving into the hotel. Ducky knew that part of the reason why Tony hadn't fully recovered his normal breathing pattern was because he'd let his emotions run away with him. The young man's anger and sense that he had not only let Timothy down, but had betrayed him, as well, was apparent in the anguish that remained clearly strewn across his face. It wasn't like Tony to be so openly upset; but then again, all of them were feeling raw and emotionally drained after the the unproductive day that they'd had that had been topped off with painful decision they'd been forced to make .

With the exception of those phone calls to Abby and Jimmy and the unexpected one from their friendly FBI Agent, the sorrowful silence had remained thick among them for the remainder of their journey to the hotel. Even now as they entered their rooms, they were totally submersed in guilt and all the other feelings that seemed to feed directly off of that one, terrible feeling. Tony couldn't even bring himself to answer Ducky, another rare occurrence. Instead, he simply nodded and ransacked his gym bag for a fresh change of clothes before grabbing a towel off the stack by the bathroom door and closing it behind him.

The two older men were left alone in the room and were both slowly becoming buried under their own emotional mountain of feelings about the choice they'd had to make. After a moment, they both shook themselves out of their reverie and retreated to their own room, meeting Ziva on the way as from getting some ice.

"You okay?, Ziva?" Gibbs asked quietly. It was strange to see her face harden the way it did, but they had both seen the way her façade could slip into place quickly and knew that her mask wasn't really covering what she was really feeling.

"I am fine. How are you?"

"My dear, I doubt that very much, however, if there is anything that you need, then please, do not hesitate to let us know. You know where we are." Ducky offered gently and reached out to lay his hand on her cheek. He was surprised when she leaned into it and offered her a warm smile to try and comfort her.

"Thank you."

"Alright, get some rest." Gibbs jumped in using the same quiet tone he'd had since they'd come back, and watched her nod once before making her way into her room.

Ziva hated what this was doing to her family as much as she hated leaving Tim up on the mountain. She could see it was tearing each of them apart just as much as it was breaking her own heart. Hearing Abby going off at Gibbs over the phone had only twisted the knife for all of them, but she understood her friend's frustration. It wasn't easy being so far away when all you want to do is help. She placed the container of ice down on the dresser and sat on her bed. Ordinarily, she would have argued about sharing a room with Tony, but since Gibbs had moved himself to Ducky's room now that Jimmy had gone back to D.C. she didn't have a choice; in fact, right now she was relieved not to be alone tonight because no matter what, she needed someone there. Ziva wondered what she could do to help prevent her teammates from falling over the edge of the pit of despair that she'd seen widening under their feet.. She found herself thankful that she was able to recognize it for what it was and knew enough about it to make certain something was done about it before it was too late.

Sometimes being able to draw on life's experiences and use them along with your survival instincts, helps you survive the ride and comes in handy when helping others along the way. Ziva drew upon that now as she picked up the phone and made a call.

* * *

_I need to use the head._

_Feminine laughter greets his statement along with a teasing question. "Can't you ever just call it the bathroom anymore, Special Agent McGee?"_

_More laughter only this time, it was his own joining in the mix. Among the laughter is a more mature feminine voice; one that he vaguely recognizes but can't quite put his finger on. _

_"Honey, I pulled your running shoes and a clean pair of socks out of your carry on bag for you. You said you wanted to change out of your sandals before we got to Denver. Those flip-flops might be more comfortable, since your feet get hot easily, but we're heading back to that chilly D.C. air and your feet will freeze unless you put your warmer shoes on, Tim"_

"_I'll change into them when I get back. Thanks, Mom." _

"_Hurry back, Tim. I think it's getting ready to be a rough ride and I want you buckled up."_

"_Yes, Mom." The teasing reply was full of love and a smile…Mom? He'd said that twice. Mom…MOM! It was his mother's voice.! _

Sucking in a huge gasp of air, he surges up from his surpine position and sits there feeling confused and disorientated. _I'm on the ground?_ God his head hurt like hell…_Oh God! Where am I? What was I just dreaming about? Did that really happen? Oh, God, my head hurts so damn bad, I can't even think straight! It's freezing out here! Stupid rain's coming back, too. Damn it! Gotta get somewhere warm because I can't take this cold. _

_Think!_

_The dream!_

_The head? The head! The bathroom! Oh, Duh! The bathroom on the plane! The plane! It's got places that are enclosed enough I can stay dry. Maybe there's some blankets too. Gotta find my way back to the plane. _His mom mentioned shoes as well…_Did I have shoes there. My feet are so damn cold. I might find them. I have to find them._

"Think! You were a scout, you can do this!" He said out loud, but knew that no one was there to hear him. _Wait! I remember being a scout? Wow!_

Struggling to push past the pain that pounded through his head and body, he pushed himself up off the ground using the tree next to him as leverage and allowed his weight to fall into his hands as the held onto the tree tightly. The world lurched around him as dizziness assaulted him and the only thing he could do was close his eyes to try and stop the world graying out around him.

The one thing he was thankful for and knew he could rely on was his memory of everything that he'd done since waking up on the plane.. Thankfully, he could remember the path he'd traveled since waking up in the plane's bathroom and painfully retraced his steps back to where he remembered the crash site being. It was a long haul though, and every tree that happened to come within arms reach became a crutch; something that supported him on his journey as his body started to slowly and painstakingly give up on him.

* * *

The silence between Ducky and Gibbs was painful, not because it had anything to do with their relationship as long-standing friends, but because neither knew of anything to say that would be in the least bit helpful to the other. For once in his life, Ducky didn't have a story or even any words of encouragement to help alleviate the tension because his thoughts were too wrapped up with worry about Tim's safety and mental health. The fact that he'd left the young man up there on the mountain to face the elements and Lord knows what else, tore at him, and truth be told, he was trying desperately not to think about he endless possibilities of what could ultimately be the torrid truth of the whole situation. It was mind boggling and not geared toward giving him a sense of peace by any means.

Gibbs'd been standing looking out the window t for a long while and now realized that in the time that he'd stood there, he'd managed to subconsciously finish his coffee. He'd been so wrapped up in the anguished thoughts that his anger seemed to expedite every time his gut twinged with the guilt of the decision he'd been forced to make. Suddenly, he had to hear the words. "Duck. Tell me he's got a chance." Gibbs spoke painfully into the quiet

"Jethro." The M. E. breathed out on a sigh of sorrow filled worry and shook his head before clearing his throat. "I will not feed you false promises. Until we know what injuries he has, there is no way to tell what Timothy's chances are, especially with this cold night up there. All we can do is hope and pray that despite whatever injuries he might have sustained, Timothy will be able to recall his boy scouting knowledge and fall back on it enough to keep himself sheltered somehow."

"Yeah. Let's hope." The younger man agreed solemnly, falling silent once more as he escaped once again into his thoughts.

* * *

Tony stepped out of the shower and wiped at the steam on the mirror with his hand. As he rubbed the stubble on his face and reached for his shaving kit, he started to think of Tim, up there on the mountain in the cold whilst he was here _grooming _himself. Sure, it had been nice, but should he really be enjoying these creature comforts? He shook his head and pulled out the shaving gel before putting it on his face and finishing off his ministrations. Once he had done, and was freshly dressed in a pair of clean sweats and a t-shirt he made his way out and sat down heavily on the bed that he'd claimed.

"You are breathing easier." Ziva said softly from where she sat watching the weather report. "The shower has helped, yes?"

"Yeah, Zee. It did." Tony replied softly before laying down. "I'm alright. Probie's not; but I'm fine!"

Ziva frowned as the last part of his statement was said through gritted teeth. "Tony, it is not right to live on things so much. We are doing what we can."

"Damn it Ziva!...it's dwell! Dwell on things and we should be up there now, not sitting here in a warm hotel room doing nothing!"

"We are not doing nothing, DiNozzo. We are resting so we can go and search for him first thing in the morning. I refuse to argue with you." Her stomach growled loudly when she finished and Tony couldn't help but chuckle slightly.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I know you're right and I know that we need to rest but I'm so damn worried about him. He's a good kid, you know? He doesn't deserve this and to top it off, his family is currently sitting in a damn morgue." Tony rubbed his hands though his hair and sighed heavily. "I'm…I'm just sorry. You hungry?"

"What?" Ziva looked at him with confusion, her pretty features once again marred by the frown that she wore.

"You're stomach is making enough noise to keep this floor awake." He looked at her pointedly before smiling softly at her. "Look, why don't you go out and grab something to eat. I'm going to try and…."

"If I go for food, then so do you, DiNozzo. Don't think you are sending me out there to eat when you yourself have not eaten either."

"I'm not hungry, Ziva."

"I do not care. Get ready."

"Zee…" Tony tried to argue once again but was stopped when she held up her hand and shushed him.

"NO! Get ready. NOW!" She commanded before deflating slightly. "You cannot compound this guilt and this grief, Tony. It will not help McGee and it is not healthy for any of us. He needs help, and if we are going to find him, then we need to push it to the side and work together. We need to look after each other so please, stop wallowing in your grief and get ready."

"When did you become so damn pushy?"

"Pushy? Not pushy, just worried. Please, Tony. You know I am right." She pleaded desperately.

"Yeah. You are. I'll give you that. Okay, let's go."

Ziva sniffed loudly and nodded her head. Part of her felt shameful for feeling hungry, but she hadn't eaten since this morning and knew that it was the same for everyone else too. Pleased that he'd listened to her, she moved to stand up. "Okay."

Tony pulled on his sneakers and laced them up whilst Ziva put on her coat once again. Once ready to go out, they made their way to reception to ask about the best places to eat.

* * *

A knock on the door brought Gibbs back to the here and now once more, and he watched as Ducky answered it. He was surprised when Ziva strode in stoically with Tony tailing her from behind looking as thought the weight of the world had been dumped on his shoulders and was threatening to crumble him. He looked down from their troubled faces and noticed that they were each carrying carryout boxes from the local diner.

"We must eat if we are to be in any condition to find Tim in the morning." Ziva announced quietly but firmly. "As I have already explained to Tony while forcing him to join us for a meal, I also believe we need to put all of this guilt away. It will not help us or our missing teammate." They had talked about it more on their way to the Diner and she hoped that she'd finally gotten through to him so that he could eat and relax enough to sleep .

"Thank you, Ziva. You are quite right, even if we have little appetite, we must endeavor to keep up our strength if we are to be of any good to Timothy. Anthony, I know your heart is back up on that mountain with him, as is ours, but you must do as I'm advising. Eat as much as you can and then go on to bed and get as much sleep as you can. Might I suggest you sleep semi-upright and give your over-taxed lungs some aid while you sleep tonight?" Ducky attempted to soothe Tony's obviously raw nerves.

Mutely, Tony nodded and mechanically began to work his way through his tray of food. Ducky grimaced at the slow pace and knew that he would only get through a a portion of what he'd normally eat. Even then, he would be pushing his limits. As Ducky took a bite of his sandwich, he noticed that even Gibbs was hard pressed to eat anything and knew that his old friend was merely adhering to his advice and trying to set an example. That fact alone mixed with the team leaders stubbornness seemed to spur him on and helped his ability to eat.

Needless to say, the meal was a short and quiet one and it wasn't long before everything was discarded and everyone shuffled off toward their beds. If one thing, eating had made them realize just how bone weary they really were and right now, functioning beyond that basic requirement seemed impossible….of course, they also knew that the only way that morning would come any quicker, was by sleeping so the sooner they did that, the sooner they could be up and searching once again for Tim.

* * *

It felt as though he'd been moving amongst the trees in his search all night and as he leaned heavily on the trunk of the tree he had stopped at, he blew out a long, frustrated breath. It wasn't the fact that he was taking longer to find the wreckage; no, it was the fact that his body was telling him to rest. His injuries were pretty much screaming at him now and the truth of the matter was, he needed sleep.

With one, long resolute sigh, he pushed himself away from the tree and stumbled on in his quest to find the shelter that he knew was there. Dizziness assaulted him as the exhaustion pushed down on him.

"Come on! Don't give up now!" He gently chided himself and spurred himself forward. At long last, the bulky wreckage of the aircraft loomed out from the darkness as it sat unmoved on the ground. With a sigh of relief, he slowly made his way into the largest part of the shell and grasped onto the wall so that he could get his bearings. His head was now bursting with agonizing rockets of pain and the rest of his body seemed to be protesting against any movement he made, leaving him with no choice but to work on getting the supplies he needed to survive, before he collapsed. He let his eyes travel across the destruction and noticed that there was no one else there…_I should have stayed! People have been here! _with a painful sigh, he dropped down to his knees and started to pick his way through the items that were strewn on the floor. It was hard, and all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep but he knew that without something to keep him warm, he wouldn't survive the night. He groped blindly around until his hand landed on something soft and thick…_A blanket?_

He moved his hands over to see whether there was anything else that had come to land in the area, and he found a small pile clumped together sitting next to the blanket. As his hands gingerly touched the items, he came across a hard cylinder shaped object that he recognized simply by the feel of it and immediately grabbed hold of it. It was something that was so innocuous and small, but would provide him with something that would make his task so much easier. Using both hands now, he feels his way around the object, eventually finding a button on it and pushing it, instantly illuminating the space around him in a glow of bright light.

He sighed once again with the grateful relief to have found these much needed supplies. He swept the area with the flashlight. As he caught sight of the pile that he'd pulled the flashlight from, he noticed that the pile of stuff was neat and organized and as he swept the light over everything he realized that it had been deliberately set out as if someone had left it incase anyone came back. His brain stumbles though a question or two, even as it struggles to think clearly amidst the unrelenting pain it is enduring. _Why is this here? Who is it for?_

"No one here but me." Tim mumbled and started to take inventory of what had been left. It didn't take long for his energy reserve to run out completely though and he found himself too exhausted to even think. With a shaky hand, he set the flashlight down and started to make use of what he had found. While the change of clothes look appealing, he's in too much pain and far too tired to even attempt to change. Instead, he opened the bottled water and gulped it down because in all honesty, it was the first drink he'd had in 24 hours. Now he relished the feel of the water running down his parched throat. After his thirst was quenched, he gravitated toward the things that would give him what he needed most…sleep and snagged several blankets so he could lower his overly taxed body into the first place he could find that would allow him to stretch out and be comfortable enough to sleep. The broken seat closest to him seemed to be his best bet but right before lowering himself down, he made sure to pick the flashlight back up and set it in his lap with his hand still wrapped around it. As he settled down under both blankets, he let his head fall back onto the padding of seat and let his body fall into the sleep he desperately needed. It was hard though, and even though sleep found him near enough straight away, the pain from his injuries still made themselves known and the relief that he so desperately wanted from them, never came.

* * *

The darkness permeated the room and was only broken by the moonlight that streamed through the windows. For some reason, there were no curtains and the blinds that the hotel had put up let the light of the moon stream through its slats leaving little slivers of pale, silvery light in its wake. Before setting down, Tony had pulled the blinds up so that he could see outside and found the spare pillows tucked away on a small shelf in the small wardrobe. Ziva had also given him one of hers and between them they had fashioned a support so that Tony could sleep in a half upright position. As it was, sleep had been elusive and he found himself doing nothing but sitting gazing through the window with his head leaning back against the headboard. He tried for several minutes to stop the emotions that pooled in his gut, but he couldn't and no matter how much he fought against the torrent of tears that threatened, they still slipped through and trailed down his face.

He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that they'd left Tim up on that mountain and he _knew_ that he was there and needed to be rescued. What's more, his gut was telling him they were missing some important clue in finding him. It was literally tearing him up inside. In all the years of teasing, hazing and practical jokes, even the ones that had crossed the line of appropriateness, nothing would have ever taken him to the point of doing _this _to Tim. It was killing him,

Suddenly, the bed dipped and a warm, soft body was sitting next to him and was placing a gentle hand on his arm. It was familiar, and physically grounded him in support.

"Tony. We will find him." Ziva reassured him softly.

Tony blinked several times to clear away the traitorous wetness. "You don't understand, Ziva."

"Tell me what it is you think I do not understand." She encouraged him quietly. Yes, she appeared hardened under the most tremulous circumstances, but she was completely sympathetic to his emotional battle that he was waging and understood the need to hide what he was feeling while trying to deal with it at the same time.

"It's my fault he's still up there." Tony admitted quietly and without hesitation.

"Why would you think that?" She was surprised at this statement and knew that she hadn't managed to keep it out of her voice. She just hoped it didn't add to Tony's pain.

"If I hadn't needed coddling because of my messed up lungs, we could have stayed up there longer."

"No, Tony. We would not have stayed up there longer. You heard Ducky. It was getting dark and cold and the choppers would not have waited for us any longer. It would have been too cold for any of us to stay up there."

"What's that mean for Tim?" Tony asked bitterly.

"Tony. I do understand why you are feeling this way, but putting yourself through this will not help him in any way."

"Can't exactly understand from where I'm standing, Ziva. You never made a daily habit out of treating him the way I have."

"Tony. Enough with the guilt. Put it away, before it eats you alive! We need you alert, rested and focused when we go back out in the morning. It will undoubtedly be a long day, as I am sure we will not come back until we have found McGee." She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek to make him look at her. "Here, lean against me and close your eyes. Let us help each other, alright? Rest now. Try to sleep" she softly insisted as she rearranged the way she was sitting to accommodate her own request.

"Thanks, Zee." Tony whispered as he gave in to his own exhaustion and took Ziva's advice by laying his head down on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and felt her fingers gently carding through his hair as he finally succumbed to sleep.

Ziva blinked her own tears away. Seeing Tony this emotionally bare was hard. Feeling the same way he was feeling, made it even harder. Somehow, they'd get through this, so long as they found Tim in the morning. She seriously doubted any of them would ever be alright again, if they didn't.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi everyone_

_We ask your forgiveness. We're sorry for the long overdue update.  
This one's a wee bit longer than normal, so go make a coffee, sit back and enjoy_.

* * *

_Lurching! He was thrown into one of the seats as the plane hit a patch of turbulence and cringed. _

_"Sir! You really need to go back to your seat and put your seatbelt on!" He looks into the pretty blue eyes of the blond airline stewardess and offers her a rueful smile._

_"I just need to use the bathroom, please." Pain...stabbing at his kidneys because he's held out too long and needs to go._

_"I understand sir, but..." The stewardess looks at him and glances down to where he was holding his stomach and jiggling his leg. He watches her smile warmly and nods. "Quickly. It's safer in your seat."_

_Relief! That's what he was feeling! Relief at being able to finally release his tenuous hold on his rebellious bladder."Thank you. I appreciate it." As he walks through the plane, he can see the looks of panic on the faces of his fellow passengers. He can almost smell the fear that rolls off of them and can't help but think about how grateful he will be when they land. The storm had hit hard, and right now, the walk to the toilet was making his seasickness kick in despite him already taking the Dramamine his mom had bought..._

_Mom!...The soft face with the beautifully smooth skin and small age lines that she lovingly referred to as signs of growing old gracefully. The same sandy blond hair that he'd inherited and the same eyes...those eyes. They could see deep into his soul and soothe away his problems in a heartbeat. "I love you, Tim. Don't ever forget that..." Her voice comforts him before..._

_Relief! Sighing happily as his bladder empties in the small toilet. His heart lurches as the plane starts to dip again with the turbulence and he tucks himself away, flushes and washes his hands before one huge lunge whips his feet from underneath him and then..._

The dream assaults him and his eyes fly open at memories that have been bought to the forefront of his mind. It took him a moment to see through the dense, pitch blackness of night and when he finally realized where he was, he tried to swallow down the shock so he could regulate his harsh, uneven breathing. He though back to the dream and cringed at the barrage of memories that accompanied it. His mind automatically went back to the faces and the smell of fear that he had felt rolling off the people who had been here with him...was it real? Is this what happened or was his memory running riot because of his surroundings? Either way it didn't matter because his emotions were on a rollercoaster and right now, they were plunging down one of the steepest dips.

It hadn't been the dream that made him feel so panicked, it had been the resulting flood of emotions that threatened to bury him further..._Joy, worry, surprise..._to name just a few because there were more than he could actually define. Looking around, he starts to find the pitch-blackness all encompassing and feels the panic rise once again to the point where his head explodes with a pain so intense, that he slumps back unconscious in the chair.

Gibbs lay on his bed in the hotel, staring at the ceiling whilst the sound of Ducky's short, puffed breathes where he lay in the bed opposite slumbering fitfully. The team leader's mind and soul were a wreck at the moment and he knew that if he lost another agent; another son, then his heart was seriously in danger of becoming irreparably broken. While he was grateful that Ducky was able to force himself to find sleep because he knew he needed to be at his best in the morning, the younger man couldn't make the cogs of his mind grind to a halt so that he could find that little bit of rest that he undoubtedly needed.

Never, in all the scrapes and situations his team had been into over the years; had he even thought anything like this would happen. He was completely ill prepared for it and was admittedly totally over his head. The entire future of these three young people, five when Abby and Jimmy were included, was at risk here and it all depended on what the situation panned out to be with Tim. If he was, lying up there gravely injured and out of sight, they might never find him. Drawing in a sharp breath at that painful thought, Gibbs shifted uncomfortably in the bed and did something that he hadn't done in years...he prayed.

As he lay there, he found himself trying to answer the anomalies that seemed to be growing into a dossier of their very own. _Why hasn't Tim been in touch or at least tried to make contact? Why didn't he reach out to people and leave clues as to his whereabouts? Because if he couldn't make contact, then we might have been able to find him? Why didn't he stay on the plane? He knew his family was there with him..._or did he?

Gibbs got up and moved over to the window so that he could ponder on his last question. Why didn't McGee stay with his family? If it had been him, he wouldn't want to leave them even if they were dead. It just didn't add up, though of course there was another possibility and that was that Tim had lost his memory. Maybe through a knock on the head? It was inevitable really, what with the way the plane crashed and ripped apart. You'd have to be damn lucky not to whack your head on something. He thought back to the seating plans and knew that Tim hadn't been in his seat at the time, because for everyone else to have been killed instantly. It was only the fact that he'd spent time going over the seating plans and knew where Tim's family had been found. That helped him deduce that Tim hadn't been with them and at the time and he'd found himself thankful for the small mercies even though Tim had the grief to come from losing his family in such a tragic way.

It was that realization that had literally brought a wave of relief to the team leader. With ever other passenger dying in the crash and none of them unaccounted for or even remarkably far away from their assigned seat, the fact that Tim was alive only because he hadn't been in his seat, sent shivers down Gibbs' spine.

So where had he been? Realistically, there weren't many places Tim could have gone and there was only one place that he could think of, that would have provided some modicum of safety. Before he had time to dwell on it, his body finally shut down and pulled him down into a deep sleep that seemed to totally claim his body and mind. 

* * *

_Pain shoots through him as he's thrown against the small unit to the side that holds the sink. He feels the air whoosh out of his lungs as his stomach is slammed violently into the faucet that is sticking out. He starts to think that the stewardess was right and that he should have just sucked it up and stayed in his seat, but knew that he ran a high risk of peeing himself if he did that. He stands up and cringes when he stubs his toe on the wall and glances down to see his sandal clad feet..._

_"Don't you give up, McGee. I swear if you do, I'll slap you all the way through the pearly gates myself." _

_"Kate! Oh God Kate, you're here! You...Have you come for me?" No! He doesn't want to go! It's not his time and yet here's Kate, standing in front of him like an angel of mercy. "Too early Kate!"_

_"Yeah, I know McGee. Calm down. I'm here because...just because." That smile is one he's missed ever since that horrible day that she died. _

_"Sorry. I miss you Kate." _

_"I know you do. Tony too and I guess Gibbs. Ducky's a given, he's looking good by the way...anyway, you need to get through the night, and here I am, so make the most of me."_

_Nodding, that's all he can do at the moment. He's in shock at seeing that beautiful face before him and glances up at her forehead where the bullet hole had been. He hears her laugh and drags his gaze down to her pretty brown eyes._

_"It's gone. I couldn't take it with me and can't say it'd make a good fashion statement anyway." He laughs despite himself and can feel the heat of a blush forming on his cheeks._

_"Awww, now that's something I always loved about you. You so coy and bashful. Oh...Oh my God, do you remember when I caught you under my desk..."_

_Damn air conditioning! That's all Tim could think as he connected the cables at NCIS. Right now, he's under Kate's desk hoping against all hope that she doesn't catch him there, but hell; he's going to finish this job if it kills him...and in this heat, it's a distinct possibility!_

_"Anyone? And I mean anyone know when the air conditioners getting fixed? Huh? What about the name of the genius who invented windows that don't open. And what are we on? A space ship? Windows should open..."_

_Yeah yeah, Tony. We know...Jesus, does that guy ever shut up. He's not the only one suffering right now...right, I just need to connect these cables..._

_"Have you been working out?" Great! Just great! Kate's here and she's not going to be happy. Nothing I can do because the upgrades need doing. Come on DiNozzo, keep her busy, just for a little bit longer..._

_"All summer long. Thanks for finally noticing." Way to go! Is that all you've got? Okay, that's connected, not just need too..._

_"No, I mean right now, because you're sweating like a pig and it's not very attractive." That's a good one. I can't help but laugh at her ingenuity at winding the class clown up. Good gir...what? why is Kate screamin...Oh God! Don't look! Don't look!...damn it, she's a French panty girl!...Oh no you looked...look at her face!_

_"Uh...morning Agent Todd." She knows I looked. Help!_

_"McGee."_

_"Yeah?" Play dumb! Good idea, that's the best bet as you lay here with your head in-between her skirt clad legs.._

_"You have two seconds to tell me what you're doing down there." Her eyes are burning into me and my mind is struggling to keep up._

_"I'm...I'm upgrading the computer network and uh..."_

_"Time's up." What? No! I...come on..._

_"I wasn't looking. I swear. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I wasn't looking...I wasn't looking...Ow!"_

_"Yeah, that was pretty funny. I admit, I looked." Kate's looking at him with an amused look on her face before reaching out and thumping him in the arm._

_"I knew it! From what I can remember, I had on the..."_

_"French panties..." the answer leaves my lips before the horror of what I said sinks in. "Sorry..."_

_"Huh...You know, you're right. I thought it was the thongs. Never mind, you know, that's one of your more endearing qualities." _

_"What is?" I ask and take in the look on her face._

_"You're so damn nice and wouldn't tell me if you had seen." That's true, he woudn't but right now, he'd do anything to keep that conversation going because he needs something to erase that day; That terrible, horrible day..._

_How does the boss know it's a full metal Jacket? That's just...how? The boss never fails to amaze him, even the throws of grief. Tony's there looking solemn and sullen after what he's seen and he knows, that his imagination is nothing on actually seeing a friend being gunned down like that._

_"How does he know it's a full metal Jacket." _

_Tony's voice is low and filled with a low ebb of anger that is bubbling gently under the surface. "Didn't you see Kate?"_

_No, I didn't. I don't want to remember her that way; I can't remember her that way! Is he crazy. "I didn't want to." The words stick in my throat as I choke them out and I feel knots of worry appear in my stomach as I anticipate his answer. He turns to face me and fixes me with those haunted eyes._

_"Her head was intact." Tony's face is impassive and I know that that's not all, but I have to know...I..._

_"So...she didn't look bad?" The cracks are showing on Tony's face and I'm frightened of what will pour out of them. Will his anger be unleashed on me? My heart pounds like a jackhammer in my chest and I feel panicked at what he has to say._

_"No. No, not at all, Probie. In fact, a little mortuary putty right here..." He's tapping my head where the bullet entered and I can't help but imagine the bullet piercing through her head like a knife through butter. "And she'll be good as new. Course, she was having a bad hair day, though, right back here, 'cause a full metal jacket'll put a hold the size of a grapefruit right about there..."_

_**Smack**...That's it, that's the outlet Tony needs, but I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear about how the hole in the back of her head is big enough to drop her brain out of...I don't want too, I can't...no Kate! Oh dear God no! You didn't deserve that! You didn't...please..._

Once again, his eyes snapped open, making little stars appear before him as he tried to get bearings. In his dazed state, the pain in his head seemed almost surreal as his mind tried to make sense of the images and cornucopia of what seemed to be genuine memories. Waves of grief rolled through him as he remembered Kate and her witty ways. She was warm, kind and had a dry sense of humor that was no match for Tony. She was strong as well because she stood up for what she believed and put Gibbs in his place when it was needed. For a brief moment, the nausea rose before the endless, nerve-wracking moments of silence finally calmed him down and his mind shuts down once again and slips underneath the blanket of agony that has cocooned his body so that he could sleep once more.

_"Who would send me a letter with anthrax? " Trust DiNozzo not to realize that someone's done what every scorned woman he's left in his wake has wanted to do. Even though he knows that his clothing has been burned, the shower feels good as the hot water pounds down on him and he lets the sounds of his team mates bickering wash over him._

_"Pick a girl, Tony. Any girl. " Ha! Told you Kate, you've got a wickedly dry sense of humor that shines. I miss that more than you will ever know._

_"It's not funny, Kate." Agreed! It really isn't funny. For all his bravado, Tony was scared and he must had inhaled some of that powder because it had puffed out all over him. Damn it, Tony! Why did you have to blow into the envelope to open it?_

_"Yeah, I know."_

_"This is serious."_

_"I know, Tony. I'm sorry." Kate sounds exasperated, but Tony pushes forward anyway. He actually feels sorry for the guy because who knows what's was in that envelope. At least he does until..._

_"This very instant somebody is incinerating my Ermenegildo Zegna suit, my Armani tie, my Dolce Gabbana shirt, and my Gucci shoes!" You have got to be kidding me! He's at high risk of some disease and he's worried about his designer gear? There's a possibility it's nothing, but still..._

_"You know, it might not be anthrax" The water pounding down on me seems to be draining away some of the tension about the situation. Truth be told, Tony is the type of guy to use humor as a way of diffusing the situation and right now, he was feeling mildly amused._

_"I like the sound of that, Probie." Thoughts run away with me as I verbally tick off the list that has appeared in my mind._

_"It could be small pox, bubonic plague, cholera..."_

_"Probie!" Oh...maybe I should have kept that to myself. Right, change of tactics..._

_"Foot powder, face powder, talcum powder."_

_"Honey Dust!" Huh? What the hell's..._

_"Honey Dust?"_

_"Honey Dust. I give it to girls - women, sorry, Kate. I give it to women at Christmastime. Very sensuous. You apply it with a feather." Oooh, so it's some kind of erotica thing. Trust Tony to be into something like that._

_"You don't use the whole chicken?" You're in for it now Tony! Kate's a nice catholic girl who has her morals and ethics that don't include women being used as sex toys. Have to admit though, that comment was pretty funny!"_

_"I never heard of Honey Dust."_

_"Yeah, that's because your mother raised you to respect women, McGee." Can't argue with that. The one thing that we've had instilled into us is respect. Even Dad..._

_..."Son, one thing about women, is that they like to be treated right. They need to feel like princesses and like to be respected as people, not objects. That's something I've wanted to teach you; same with Sarah, only with men, and I think you've turned into a fine young man. I just don't understand why it is that my handsome boy can't find someone to settle down with." As I look into those wisened eyes, I can't help but think about what everyone says when they see us. It's all true of course, and sometimes I feel as though I'm in a Harry Potter novel when someone tells us that me and Dad look like each other, but I have my mother's eyes. I even inherited that prominent bottom lip that seems to be the norm in the McGee men. I don't mind though, my father is handsome, charismatic and wise. All the traits that he said I've inherited, though I can't see it. _

_"I don't know Dad, I'm not looking because I don't have time. It'll happen when it happens." _

_"That it will, Tim. That it will." His father's firm hand resting on his shoulder is comforting and warm and makes him feel safe, grounded and loved. It's almost as if it is branded into his skin and it's always something he carries around with him everyday..._

_..."It makes a women's skin feel silky smooth. When kissed, it tastes like honey. Got a box of Honey Dust last Christmas. No card." Gibbs? Gibbs got honeydust? I don't even want to know what he did with it, but seriously? Gibbs got...ooh, way to go DiNozzo. You're presents got mixed up and one of your women received a bottle of Jack. Oh well, that's one way of getting into the Christmas spirit..._

_...Autopsy? I was in the shower a moment ago so how the heck did I end up here facing Gibbs' wrath, wearing a pair of NCIS overalls? "You should have given the letter to me, McGee."_

_"I know, Boss." Yeah, ain't hindsight a wonderful thing!_

_"It's not McGee's fault. Tony snatched it out of his hand." Thanks Kate. At least someone fights my corner for me._

_"So now it's my bad?"_

_" You did grab it, Tony."_

_"Lame excuse, Probie. You should have stopped me." Yeah, like that would have worked! What Tony wants, Tony usually gets, though it has been better over the past few years and he's actually been more of a big brother than anything...huh...he's always been that way really, Hell, we bicker like brothers._

He woke up confused and still, very much alone. His dream were littered with strong memories of harsh events that he'd hoped wouldn't surface for a while and wished that his mind could dreg up some better memories for him to hold on to. Sure, he recognized the people in his dreams, but in the waking world their names still eluded him and he found himself trying to pick out the parts of his dreams that mentioned their names.

"Tonia...Tony...TONY!" He mumbled to himself, and barely managed the triumphant whisper as he remembered his friend's name. It really shouldn't have been that hard, but unfortunately his chances of remembering the others were pretty much slim to none. With a resigned sigh, he settled back down and closed his eyes and willed his body to relax into the dream world where he could try and remember, what or who he had forgotten. It didn't take long, and the short bursts of sleep seemed to be doing nothing to soothe his tortured body and soul. His eyes flickered open to look around and he didn't fight the urge to flick on the flashlight and sweep it around the destroyed cabin. There had been people here. People who were either travelling to see their loved ones, or travelling home. One or the other. What became of these people? That was something he couldn't be totally sure of, but he did know that someone had been here and there had been someone looking for him. Why was he here? That was one question that he couldn't answer and he just hoped that they weren't too worried about him.

Worried...

They wouldn't be worried about him because...

"Oh my God! MOM! DAD!...SARAH!" His eyes darted around the cabin as realization dawned on him, that they were on the flight with him. _His family! They were gone!_ Grief washed over him in waves as he sat there and he felt the first release of a tear trickle down his face before turning to heart wrenching sobs that caused his whole body to protest in pain. He soon managed to sob himself to sleep.

_"Is there a reason you've been haunting my desk all week?" Huh? I've been haunting your desk? Come on Kate, I didn't haunt your desk. Kate's ghost appears beside him and watches the dream Kate approach them both. The memory was oblivious to her ghost standing next to Tim and carried on playing the scene out as it had done so many years before._

_"Yeah, you did, McGee." What?...My eyes go wide and dart between the two Kates. Sure, this is nice, but..."She can't see me, or rather I can't see me. Don't worry, I just want to see this from the outside." I nod slightly at the ghost and turn back to play out the scene._

_"Uh, no. I was just ..."_

_"Or maybe you just decided to take over DiNozzo's job of annoying me while he's on sick leave." _

_"I just wanted to check that everything was okay." _

_"Why wouldn't it be?" _

_"Well, you and Tony were close and, you know..." This really isn't the way it was supposed to happen, but it did and it was. I just want Kate to know that I was thinking about her and was worried about her since Tony had been sick. She'd been through a lot and truth be told, I saw her crying a few times after Tony had been let out of the blue room, not that she'd ever admit to it though._

_"Don't worry, McGee. I know you were watching out for me." All I can do to the ghost's statement is nod and wait for the real dream Kate to carry on._

_"No, I don't know. What?"_

_"He almost died." In all honesty it shook him up, and the fact that Tony come so close to meeting his maker just made him want to go home and spend time with his family because he needed that assurance that everyone was okay._

_"We're N.C.I.S. agents, McGee. There is a chance one of us might die every time we walk through the door."_

_He heard a snort beside him and frowned. "Oh you Bitch!...wait, oh, that's me. Okay, you go girl." He wanted to laugh at the ghost of a memory standing beside him, but the pull of what happened was too strong and he knew that he had to play it out and had to feel the emotions and pain he had on the day._

_"Yeah, but I'm the idiot that handed him an envelope full of the plague."_

_"Tim, it's not your fault. Look, if you want to think about something, why don't you think about all of the times that Tony has insulted us, invaded our privacy, the fact that he almost died owing us all money." True. He does do that on a daily basis but now it's just brotherly hazing. I can live with that._

_"That's true. He can be pretty obnoxious."_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Do you miss him as much as I do?" What can I say? I do miss him and know that the office is most definitely not the same without him. I'd been round to see him a few times and even got to drive him home from the hospital. Last night, he looked better than he had since falling sick with the plague, but the dark circles and the breathlessness still made him sound like an 80 year old with emphysema._

_"More. It's part of his charm. It's like an ex-rated Peter Pan. You know he told all the girls downstairs you're gay, right? Said it would cut down on the competition. " Despite her bravado, he knows exactly how much Kate misses Tony and knows that he'd asked a question that would cut through her façade like a knife. As expected, she'd admitted she missed him, but countered it to save herself from dropping her walls_

_Hang on! What did sh...Gay? "That bastard!"_

_"Hold onto that feeling and you're going to be just fine." Oh, so that's what she was doing._

_"Do you want to know what he said about you?" _

_"Mmm." Ok. This is a dangerous game, but it might get us through the next week or so without him. Hopefully, we can use these tools to ease the pain...hopefully_

_"That you tried to sleep with him when you were in Paraguay."_

_"I will kill him." Attagirl! There's the spirit that's been lost, but yeah, I'm gonna kill him too. Gay! Damn cheek!_

_The world grays around him and he can hear a quiet chuckle beside him. "What's so funny?"_

_"Oh come on! It was typical Tony. You realize, we have never once got him back for the things we have done?" Damn, she's right! We really never have, but maybe it's time to change that now._

_"Huh. Yeah, I guess we haven't. Or at least, not to the scale we should have."_

_"Hmm..."_

_"What?" Kate's thoughtful. How in the world has my subconscious got her down this well. _

_"Just thinking." Next thing, the world comes back in a rush and I'm walking down a hill to see..._

_"Oh, cool corn snake. Can I hold him?" Cute little fella. Wonder why she's looking so scared and why the heck is Tony acting like it's gonna bite? _

_"No, it's poisonous, McGee!" Huh? Where'd she hear that?_

_"Actually they're not, Kate."_

_"Yes they are, McGee." Now that explains everything. Trust Tony..._

_"What about that one you caught at Shenandoah State Park? You had it around your neck for like an hour." Ha! Get out of that one!_

_"That near-fatal illness may have clouded my memory." Ooh that was a good one Kate! Right where it hurts! Just need Tony to get back up and stop being such a damn loser so we can tie up this case._

_"You're such a loser! All right, back to work. McGee, check the trunk. Nobody touches dead bodies until Ducky says all clear"_

"Freeze, McGee! Don't move! Car's wired to explode. Looks like the detonator's tied to the trunk." Detonator? Oh you have got to be kidding me!

_"What?" _

_"How far did you turn the key?" How far? How the hell should I know...Um..._

_"Uh... not sure. Almost all the way, I think."_

_"Okay, don't let it snap back, all right?" Crap! I'm so gonna die out here. Won't that be great!_

_"Yeah." I'm agreeing but I don't think I can. I can feel the slick sweat of fear making my fingers slip, but know that if they do, we are all dead. I can feel Tony's fingers slowly taking hold of the key and stand there frozen in time; time that seems to slow down to nothing and what passes for seconds feels like hours..._

_"Let go." What?...Oh, right. I let go of the keys and feel my heart pounding in anticipation of the explosion that could potentially kill us._

_"Okay." No boom! Thank God!_

_"Okay, both of you run!" Is he crazy? We can't leave him!_

_"Tony, we're not leaving you standing..."_

_"I'm a lot faster than you are! I'll be right behind you. This is not a debate, okay? This thing might be primed already."_

_And we're running. Running up the hill and I'm hoping and praying that the weeks of being worried about Tony don't come to nothing as he stands down there with a bomb. Please don't let it blow. I can see the fence and we're running towards it shouting because we've got to warn them. They have to know..._

_"It's the car!"_

_"It's wired to..." Omph...The wind rushes out of my lungs as a shock wave throws us to the floor. It exploded! Oh my God it exploded. Just before I can get my breath to yell, I hear Kate beside me._

_"Tony!"_

For the fourth time, his awakening is harsh and he finds himself panting harshly as the dream sticks fresh in his mind. His thoughts whirl around in his head and despite his body protesting against the aches and the pains and the fact that it is demanding solace in the realm of sleep, his mind just won't let go and for the moment, slumber as abandoned him in the cold, harsh darkness of the wreckage which has become his safety net. He can't quite seem to muster up the energy or the physical strength to move a muscle out of the chair and so sits there thinking for a while before weakly unscrewing the cap on the water so that he can try and get rid of the dry, bitterness that has settled in his mouth. Right now, thirst and dehydration were two things he could at least remedy and he didn't want to add anything else to his list of hurts. Once both had been sated to the best of his abilities, he sat back and let his thoughts drown him Time loses all meaning as he struggles against the memories of things that are starting to slowly come back to him. Before he knows it, his eyes lids are drooping and he soon finds himself drifting off into a dream world that he can only hope, doesn't betray him once again.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: We do apologise for your extra long wait. It seems that life is determined to get in our way._

_But, we have perservered and now our story continues._

_We thank you ever so much for your patience and continued reading and reviewing._

We do appreciate each and every one of you.

_If we haven't lost you, then please feel free to pull up a chair and sit for a spell, after all this one is a long one.  
_

* * *

Morning light began filtering through his closed eyes, bringing with it the jolting reminder that they needed to have been on that mountain already.

"Damn it!" he said loudly as he jumped out of bed and looked over to the one that Ducky had been occupying. He sighed heavily when he saw that it was roughly made with the bedspread hastily thrown on top and cringed…_Where the hell had Ducky gone? _

He was lightening quick with getting ready and in less than five minutes, he was snapping the door to the room open so he could go and wake everyone else up. He was mildly surprised to see Tony there, leaning against the wall waiting for him.

"Morning, Boss." The younger man greeted somberly. "Ziva's getting the car and Ducky's getting us coffee."

"And what are you doin', DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked grumpily as he locked the door.

"Um…Getting you? Just didn't know how to wake you up. It's a bit like poking a sleepin' bear with a stick." Tony couldn't help his normal quirky cheekiness coming through and hung his head. Now wasn't the time for joking and he hoped that the boss would forgive him. He was surprised to feel a firm hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, he saw the boss looking at him with a small smirk on his face.

"Yeah but it would have been a hell ova lot worse if you'd let me sleep any later. Come on, Let's go."

***NCIS***

"_You shot this cute innocent dog?"_

_"How could you shoot an innocent dog, McGee?"_

"_Bad McGee!"_

"_Dogs don't kill people! People kill People!"_

"_Not my jacket! That's my $500 jacket! Don't you think you're contaminating the evidence?"_

"_If you think that I can't distinquish the dog's hairs from the fibers of your stupid __jacket, then you don't know me, McGee and right now, I don't wanna know you!"_

_Abby! That was her name! I can see the many faces of Abby swirling in front of me as this memory comes back to me so vividly, it's hard to believe I'd forgotten it at all. With every pass of her face before my eyes, there was some harsh comment linking back to when I shot Jethro as he was attacking me that first fateful day we met. I can feel the anger bubbling once again as everything about that case comes back to me in full color. I knew that she was wrong now, just as she had been then. Why didn't she see what Jethro had done to me? Sure, that mutt is my best friend now but still, what's next? Feeling sorry for the suspects because she had a soft spot for them?_

"_Does this one help you remember more of who you are, McGee? Why bring up this one that hurt you so badly? You've dealt with this one already." Kate appears and puts her hand up to halt the memories. "Why here? What's going on in that head of yours?"_

"_I don't know. Maybe, I never really resolved this with her. Maybe that's why it's come up. I don't really know, but hell, right now this is where my mind is taking me so who am I to argue? And to answer your question, Kate, yes. It does bring back more of who I am to me. It helped me remember her name._

"_It's not healthy to come back to the most painful memories, Tim."_

_I miss this about Kate. She had a way of getting her point across without sounding off, but still sounding authoritative. So, I tell her, _"_I know…" _

_My voice fades as the memories start going again, only now the scene shifts to something else. I can't __help it. It's almost as if I'm being drawn to them somehow. Kate slips her hand in mine and I can feel the warmth there. Not the cold that death brings, but the warmth that I remember and cherish._

"_Then I'll go through them with you." I nod and squeeze her hand in thanks._

"_Abby, that dog should be muzzled" I hear myself warning her but she wouldn't listen. Why doesn't she ever listen?_

_"Put a muzzle on yourself, McGee!" What? Oh come on…._

"_Tim…hey, McGee! Calm down." Kate's face is fierce as she tries to calm me. Damn, even in my dream's this stuff still pisses me off._

"_Sorry…" I reply and try to turn back to the memory so more will come back to me. It's too frightening to have amnesia even for a little while. I need all the memories I can get so I can reclaim who I am._

"_McGee, I'm taking up a collection for Jethro." Even now, I struggle to figure out how her mind works. I mean come on! A collection for a dog?_

"_Why would I want to contribute to a dog that attacked me?" I see myself asking her._

_"Maybe because I can dispose of you without leaving any forensic evidence now, Fork it over!" _

"_You know, I watched that and still can't believe you handed her the money. What the hell, McGee? Didn't I teach you anything." __Kate asks me in her usual irritated tone._

_I can't help but laugh at being berated by Kate. In a sordid, twisted way, I miss that._

"_Yeah, you did. But she was like a pitbull…crap, no pun intended."_

"_That wasn't a pun." I laugh at that and shake my head. _

"_Okay, you got me there. She had the bit between her teeth and wouldn't let go. It was easier just handing the money over to her." I answer honestly because hell, that really was the easiest way to deal with it at the time. Besides, if I remember correctly, I was still suffering from the effects of the attack and had no strength to argue with her, not that anyone noticed or cared." __I shake my head an turn back to the memories._

"_You're taking Jethro. Deal with it!" For some reason, I can't actually feel angry about that anymore. Jethro is my best friend and confidante __now because I know that he'll never betray me. He's loyal. But, somewhere deep inside of me, a voice is still reminding me of how very wrong that was on so many levels, that it's no wonder it's come back up in this hailstorm of memories of that case._

"_Oh my God! You took the dog? McGee!..." Kate threw out there in mock horror._

"_Kate, come on. If you've been watching over u__s, then you know I took the dog and you know for a fact that I love that dog; now."_

"_Yeah, I do, but…what the…McGee! Why?"_

_I can see a rabid dog bounding towards us with its' hackles risen as it growls harshly. It won't stop! It just carries on and pounces sinking his teeth…._

Tim's frightened out of sleep once again feeling a fear so real that it weighed down heavily and threatened to suffocate him. With a burst of energy that seemed impossible given his injuries, he bolted upright only to gasp as pain forked through him, forcing him back to the position that he'd fallen asleep in. He tried to curl into the pain to make it stop, but only succeeded in making himself more miserable and cold…Damn!_I'm so cold. _He grasped the blanket with trembling hands and pulled it over him tighter to try and keep the warmth in there. He could see that it was getting light now and a sideways glance through the gaping hole in the plane's body showed him the dusky sky as it glittered with purples and pinks. _The sun's coming up_ he thought to himself before closing his eyes, and letting sleep take him once again.

***NCIS***

The ride back to the mountain was as quiet as the ride to the hotel had been the night before. Finally, Ziva couldn't stand it any longer and threw her hands up with frustration. "Look, we are all upset at what needed to be done last night but, today is a new day and we all agree we are not coming back down this mountain without McGee. Can someone PLEASE find _something_ to say on that?"

"Sorry, Ziva." Tony finally managed to offer quietly. He was a million miles away as his thoughts scrambled to find whatever they'd missed. "I…I'm…"

Ducky rested his hand on Tony's shoulder and offered a comforting smile when the senior field agent's distant eyes turned to him without fully seeing him. "Relax, Ziva. We just need some time to think on this before we begin to search for Timothy once more. I can tell you a story if that would help, my dear. I know it can soothe sometimes."

"Thank you, but no. Not now. It would not feel right." Ziva leaned over and in a most unusual move for her, rested her head on Ducky's shoulder. "I am sorry."

"Good heavens! What ever for, my dear?"

"For taking your minds off of McGee."

Ducky simply slid his hand over and grasped hers firmly. She gave a small squeeze back and looked around the back of the land rover they were travelling in. Her eyes fell on Gibbs who looked deep in thought and solemn, though he did offer a small smile and a tiny salute with his coffee cup when he saw her looking. She lifted her head to nod once at him, before laying it back down on Ducky's shoulder. She needed contact and the one thing that the M.E. didn't mind, was giving them the support that they needed.

"Are you okay, My dear?"

"Yes, Ducky. I am fine. I will be better when we find McGee, though." She admitted sadly and felt the hand holding hers tighten slightly. With a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes and started to go over the scenes from the day before in hope of remembering something, that could point them in the right direction.

***NCIS***

"_Sigmund Freud, eat your heart out. McGee, no lurking without a permit." I still have no idea how she know's we're there, but she does. Just like Gibbs. It must be a second sense of sorts. _

_" Sorry, just checking to see if you finished the analysis on that powder yet. Field test said it was cocaine, but…" But what? Damn, I can't even remember what I was going to say. Who cares. This is just a dream; just a memory…_

_" I told you I was going to email you the results when I was done."_

_Ha! Little did she know there. We all knew she was going to court and the fact that she had a suit ready…or at least that's what the grapevine said…made me curious. I'd seen her in everything (birthday suit included), but her suit and I wanted to see the difference._

_" Yes. Don't you have court today?"_

_" I'm finished. All I had to do was give a deposition." Yeah, even now I can see that I'm making this easy for her._

"_Damn! You're not subtle are you?" Kate's back again and I can't help but wonder whether she is getting me ready to meet my maker or genuinely doesn't want me to be alone._

"_Kate. What are you really doing here?"_

"_You're alone out there, but you don't have to be in here. That's all McGee. He tells me to pass on his regards and to let you know that it's not your time yet." _

"_He?" I know who she's talking about, but still, this is strange._

"_You know who I mean. Come on, that computer brain of yours can surely process what I'm telling you…oh, this is where it gets good." I see her turn towards the scene and shake my head._

_Oh. So you don't have to go back or anything?" I ask. Kate was right, I really didn't make it obvious._

_"McGee! You came all the way down here to see me in my court suit!" Uh oh…rumbled. Kate chuckles beside me._

_"No."_

_"You totally did!"I resist the urge to answer 'okay, yeah I really did' to myself but know that it's not how it played out._

_"No, I did not."_

"_Your mouth lies, but your red ears are telling the truth."_

"_My ears don't go red when I lie." I turn towards Kate and see her giggling. "They don't!"_

"_Oh but they do. Come on McGee, that's why we all love you so much. You're honest to a fault because you can't lie. You are betrayed by those big puppy dog eyes and red ears."_

"_Puppy dog eyes and red ears…" I repeat. I'm stunned and have no idea what to say to that. Kate giggles more and shakes her head._

"_It's adorable. Look…." I turn back to the memory and watch what happens next. Truth be told, from that point onwards, it went to hell._

_"What? What's wrong?" _

_I remember smelling something…something familiar. What was it? Oh yeah, bitter almonds. The lab started to reek of bitter almonds._

_"Do you smell that?"_

"_No." How can she not have? It was getting really strong._

_"It's almonds. We have to get out of here!"_

"_What's going on?" I remember thinking how stupid that question was at the time and made a mental note for her to get her nose checked out. _

_"Cyanide gas!" I watch from the sidelines as I drag Abby out and the doors close leaving me and Kate standing there alone. The Lab fades out slightly leaving the scene frozen._

_"You really could smell that?" I nod "She couldn't?"_

"_No. I think she got her nose checked out because of the crap she deals with, but it came back fine." I answer and shake my head. "You know, we sat down in autopsy sucking on oxygen when she finally admitted she was having problems."_

"_I know. The guy she had been with was a complete nut job." Kate answered honestly and walked over to the faded out stool next to the computer. With a sigh, she sat down shook her head. "I just wish there was more that I could do. I see you all in danger and have no choice but to sit on the sidelines and hope to God you're all okay."_

_I know it can't be easy but the fact that she keeps tabs on them helps. "Sorry Kate."_

"_What for?"_

"_Just because…"_

"_McGee?" Boss? Damn, I was talking to Kate a minute ago. Where is Kate? She's nowhere to be found now. Maybe she's still down in the lab._

_"Well, I can um… I can go check on… Boss, I'm not really sure what I should do." Ah, the stuttering. That's been the __bane __of my life and seems to come out at certain times. I'm getting better though and it has calmed down a hell of a lot._

_"Go home. Take Abby with you."_

_"Gibbs, I am fine! I only have one stalker and he has an alibi." Bless her, even I can see through her naivety there._

_"I don't want you to be alone tonight, Abs. You're going with McGee."_

_"Great. Like I haven't been traumatized enough today." _

_Huh, I forgot about that comment. I still can't figure out how the hell she can sleep with me and claim I traumatize her. Hmm….._

_"Bedtime. I am going to take the sleeping bag." How?...my apartment? Damn this is disorientating. I look at myself trying to figure out how to be a gentleman whilst trying to protect __her. _

_"We're adults, McGee. We can share the same bed." I remember mentally chuckling at that bossiness from her then, knowing that sharing a bed with Abby would more than likely stir up the old attraction. Nothing has happened for years though and right now, he didn't want it too. Now, looking back at this moment, all I feel is the sting of her crappy attitude she'd been full of that night._

_"If you promise to keep your hands to yourself." He'd tried to play it cute, he remembers._

"_Clearly you haven't been. Your shirt smells like J Lo Glow. Oh, I can't find my toothbrush! I think it fell out in your car."J Lo glow? Oh yeah, Sarah. She'd stayed the night before and borrowed that same shirt. Obviously Abbs had just picked it up off the back of his chair._

_"That's all right. Your old toothbrush is still in my bathroom."_

_"You kept my old toothbrush?...That's a little creepy, McGee. Maybe you should take the sleeping bag."_

_"What is creepy about it? I just never bothered to throw it out. What?" It's the truth. Who has time? Between working and writing it's a wonder I have time to do anything._

_"This is not my toothbrush."_

_"Well, then I must have bought a second one and forgot about it."_

_"It's a ladybug toothbrush, McGee. That's for a cute girl named Gina Marie that bakes cookies and wears J Lo Glow. Not for a quasi-manly Federal agent who carries a gun." Good point. I can't really argue with that._

_"Do you want to use it or not?"_

_"An anonymous toothbrush? I would rather remove my own tonsils with Typhoid Mary's straight razor."_

_"Where are you going?" I see myself ask as Abby starts to get ready for going out. Damn she's got a stubborn streak a mile wide and it really can irritate the hell out of all of us._

_"To get my toothbrush."_

_"No no no. You're not leaving the apartment." Even now, I can imagine Gibbs' wrath. Hell, I've lived through__ it now, but still, the thought of it as I watch this replay, stings none the less._

_"Why not, McGee? We both know Gibbs is just being over-protective."_

_"I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me, and if Gibbs finds out I let you leave."_

_"That's a really good point. You go."_

_"I am not leaving you alone either."_

_"Fine, then. I'll just use your toothbrush." Oh hell no! I've never shared a toothbrush and don't intend to…ever! I know this is where it starts to get hinky as Abby calls it and watch myself leave to go and get the toothbrush. I remember something stopping me though. Some gut instinct? Maybe. Or maybe I just knew Abby so well. I'd forgotten my keys anyway, but I would have gone back and checked regardless._

_"Don't open the door for anyone." There I go. One…two…three...ahh, the sound of the door knocking. I know who that is._

_" What?"_

_" I told you not to open the door for anyone!" _

_Yeah, like she ever listens to anyone. For someone so smart, she really can be really dumb at times._

_"What'd you forget?"_

_"My keys?"_

_"Why do you need keys if I'm here?" __I remember the feeling of disbelief that coursed through me then at her attitude and even now, I still can't believe __her behavior.__I see the disbelief flicker over my own face and remember the feeling of wanting to say screw it and letting her breath stink all night._

_"My car keys. Now listen to me. You do not open the door, okay? Not for anyone. Or I will tie you up."_

_"Really?" For all her joking, I know from experience that she really, really would love that. Oh crap! The scene's changing again…where…Oooh, the bullpen._

_"Nothing on the statewide BOLO yet. Get off your knees. It's just a typewriter, McGee." Ziva honestly didn't know why I was down there, but hell, that really hurt. My knees were actually bruised from kneeling there so damn long. _

_"No ATM transactions. Hasn't touched his credit cards. Was a typewriter. And she messed up my motherboard so badly, the BIOS got screwed up and I had to do a __hard reset." Urgh, that was just traumatic. It was hard for someone like me to be so publically punished for what I felt was a crime I hadn't committed and by someone I thought so highly of and Gibbs,…._

_"How traumatizing for you, McGee." Even now, Gibbs' remark stings as his uncaring attitude sliced through me that day._

_"Go easy on him, Boss. Even a hair out of order traumatizes McGee. Put this on the plasma. Where's your chair?" _

_You know, sometimes I just want to hit Tony. I love him like a brother, but the guy just doesn't know when to quit._

_"He doesn't deserve to sit." Gibbs hadn't hesitated to pour that injustice on even more._

Restless amidst the obscurity of his dreams, he shifts in his chair, but this time does not fully awaken. His injuries are finally taking control and forcing his body into sleep and unconsciousness because it's too desperate for the rest it's finally found. The only hint that the body sleeping in the chair isn't truly in a coma, is the fact that his dreams still carry on and the images that flood his mind are causing tremors and tics that betray the nightmares he's having. Soon thought, soon the dreams would stop and he would fall into the deep void of the abyss that his life is hanging over. Soon….

***NCIS***

They were all frustrated at the fact that they'd lost daylight and when they reached the top, there was a brief silence that signaled the fact that, even that small amount of time could be the difference between Tim's life or death. They were all anxious to get going, but the thinner air was difficult to and it took a moment. Tony stood there gasping before finally taking a huge hulking breath and working with his anxiety to find Tim. He literally hit the ground running and barreled through through the trees like a herd of wild boars.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked as loudly as he could so that his senior agent would hear him.

Tony froze and turned to look at the boss. "What? Boss, we've got to find him!"

"Not like that, numskull! What the hell's wrong with you? You _tryin'_ to sit this search out?"

Tony frowned and shook his head. "What? No! Of course not! Why would you ask me that?"

Gibbs silently pointed to Ducky and Tony couldn't help but gulp slightly at how ticked off the M.E. obviously was. From all accounts, the boss had just passed over the job of giving him a chewing out to the one person that knew where to hit…hard.

"Anthony DiNozzo. Do not force me to do as Jethro says. You'll do well to remember the thin air and the fact that your lungs struggle more up here. Pace yourself young man because as long as we stay up here searching, the more risk you are putting yourself under." Ducky shook his head and sighed before glaring back at Tony. "And kindly do not let us have to keep having this conversation, hmm? I would much rather spend my efforts on searching for Timothy than going over this with you again."

"Right. Sorry. It's just that I have to check something." Tony defended and stood there impatiently tapping his hand against his leg.

"What, DiNozzo?"

"I'll show you, C'mon!" Tony turned and steadfastly kept going.

Ducky made an exasperated sound and glared at Gibbs.

"Tony!" Gibbs barked again. He knew where they needed to look, but Tony was headed in the opposite direction. In fact, the determined kid was headed right back where they were yesterday. Why the hell was he going there?"

Tony stopped dead in his tracks, his face a mask of memories and unpleasant ideas as his brain threw out what he needed to remember.

_"Just remember. We get in too big of a hurry to cover the ground up there and we'll wind up walking right past him. None of us want that."_

_"Woah!" _

_"It is a good thing you were not seriously hurt when you accidentally set that log rolling, Tony…"_

"Damn it!" Tony shouted suddenly and bolted down the very hill he'd accidentally sent the huge dead section of tree rolling down yesterday.

Gibbs looked at Ducky as the M.E. processed Tony's actions. _Was it possible?_ Ziva bolted down the hill after Tony and as she reached the huge log, she heard Tony swear loudly.

"Damn it!"

"Tony, what is it?" She asked and watched as he plucked a scrap of torn material from the bark of the log.

"Oh God. I did do it." He whispered and held out the material for Ziva to see.

"Tony. That…." Ziva said breathlessly as the implications of what he'd just figured out hit her.

"Yeah. It's Probie's shirt. He's worn it a dozen times or more over the years. Damn it, Ziva! I was sitting right on top of him! I rolled him down this hill! I probably killed him! Damn it! Damn it to hell!"

Rather than try to placate him when he was in this state, Ziva dropped to her hands and knees and looked into the hollowed out log, turning on her flashlight so she could look into the darkened hollow.

"He was here! There is lots of piled up brush and leaves. Apparently, he was attempting to stay warm and dry."

"Yeah, and I took that from him. God! Not bad enough I roll him probably to his death, I destroy the one thing that was keeping him alive!" Tony was furious with himself and had the panging fear that they wouldn't find Tim alive.

"DiNozzo! Enough! We dropped the ball. Yeah, we were on top of him and didn't know it. Whatever happened with this log certainly didn't help, but you think standing here griping about it is helping us find him any sooner?"

"No, I don't so why don't you let us know where the hell to look now, Boss?" Tony bit out.

Gibbs let it slide given the fact that Tony was currently feeling guilty about what happened and was seriously worried about his Probie. Suddenly, pieces of recent conversations reached out and grabbed Gibbs' recollection.

"_All we can do is hope and pray that Timothy can recall his boy scouting knowledge enough to keep himself sheltered somehow."_

"_We've left a couple of blankets from the plane's supply cabinets and a change of clothes from a passenger's luggage where McGee would be sure to see them if he does wander back to the plane while no one's there. Left him a good flashlight, too  
… Left a couple of bottles of water and some of the plane's onboard snacks for him too…"_

Blinking his eyes rapidly, he came back to the present and looked at the M.E. Together they both seemed to reach the same conclusion and voiced their revelations at the same time.

"The plane"

"The plane?" Ziva asked with a frown before she caught up with them. "Oh. The plane. Of course!"

They all started making their way back up the hill as fast as they could, but between harsh breaths and thoughts of Tim,

Tony suddenly stopped and gasped. "Oh, my God! Aren't they hauling it outta here today?"

The group stopped and looked at him. "The plane! We're hiking back there, but aren't they planning on taking it back to the airport hanger for investigation?"

"Tony…" Gibbs started but shook his head. "Damn it! You're right, so let's go!" Gibbs said and increased his stride.

Tony reached out and grasped at Ducky's arm. "Ducky? Be honest with me. How bad could a roll like that be on a person?"

"Anthony, I am sorry but I simply cannot say. It's a difficult question, though I am hoping that the limited space in that log stopped the fall doing too much damage."

Tony nodded and started to silently pray, that Tim would be found alive. Praying that he hadn't taken what life fate had spared his friend and teammate.

***NCIS***

Every step they took started to feel leaden as they hurried towards the wreckage. Their muscles ached with the pace, but no matter what they wouldn't give up until they knew for sure whether their friend was there or not. It was difficult for them to say the least and they all found themselves Praying with every ounce of inner faith, that when they got there, Tim would be waiting, alive and as well as could be expected.

As Tony crashed through the trees, he couldn't help but feel as though he was in one of those dreams where you ran forever, but got nowhere. It seemed to be taking forever and with every step forward, the sliding landscape seemed to take two steps back. In a way, it seemed as though nature was playing a twisted joke, but before he could say anything, the plain loomed ahead from between the trees. The sunlight glinted off the silver husk, making the destruction caused by the crash stand out even more. He started breaking into a run and was pleased that no one tried to stop him in light of doing something that he desperately needed to do.

The Senior Field Agent stopped at the broken entry-way to the shell of the plane, and panted harshly as the thin air stole the breath away from him. It didn't stop him from scanning the interior for his Probie though and with every second that he didn't spot him, his heart raced harder as panic set in. No Tim; only a sea of broken and intact seats. There was a pile of blankets in one seat next to some supplies on what looked like a beverage serving cart obviously left there from the search teams, but still, no sign of his probie.

"Damn it! He's not here!" Tony yelled angrily, tears of anguish filling his eyes as he turned from the wreckage and filled his lungs with air.

Ducky placed his hand gently on Tony's shoulder to calm him and leaned in to speak softly to him. "Anthony, Calm yourself. Slow down and catch your breath. Please, let Jethro and I take a closer look, while you take a moment, all right? Ziva, would you stay with him and try to convince him to calm down, please?"

"Certainly, Ducky." Ziva answered calmly. Tony's pained announcement was still rolling through her head and truth be told, she was struggling with it as it worked its way through her heart. She took careful measured breaths in an attempt to control her emotions and welcomed the change of focus from Tim to Tony because it meant she could rein in her own anger and sorrow.

Gibbs' heart squeezed in pain at Tony's words. Still, he steeled himself to look for his own satisfaction. Something was nagging at him about this and he could feel his gut stirring dangerously. The plane was dark and even the light of the day didn't seep through to the cavernous interior. Breathing out a sigh, he pulled out his flashlight and started to sweep the cabin, row by row.

With every dead end and empty seat, he felt the sorrow fill his soul at the reminder of what had happened here. While Ducky proceeded to walk through the front of the plane and check each seat individually, Gibbs carried on searching the back half of the plane with his flashlight. The stockpile of stuff that Tobias had left for Tim caught his eye and he made his way over, sweeping the beam of light over it. He felt his gut clench with hope at what he saw and noticed the change of clothes, bags of snacks and _one_ bottle of water.

_Left a couple of bottles of water and some of the plane's onboard snacks for him too._

With his heart in his throat, Gibbs swept the flashlight over the area again, stopping on the pile of blankets in the seat closest to the stockpiled items. He stood there stunned for a split second before smiling with relief as his heart started to beat like a jackhammer in his chest with anticipation and hope. With trepidation and concern of startling him, Gibbs gently pulled the blanket back and found exactly what he'd believed he'd find; what they had all been looking for.

_Tim! _


	11. Chapter 11

_With his heart in his throat, Gibbs swept the flashlight over the area again, stopping on the pile of blankets in the seat closest to the stockpiled items. He stood there stunned for a split second before smiling with relief as his heart started to beat like a jackhammer in his chest with anticipation and hope. With trepidation and concern of startling him, Gibbs gently pulled the blanket back and found exactly what he'd believed he'd find; what they had all been looking for._

_Four hours. Had really just been four hours_? From the moment Gibbs had made his discovery, time seemed to speed up around him. He had watched in a fog as he uttered the phrase they all were waiting to hear. "Duck, he's here! Need you back here now."

Though his words had been few, the barely contained emotions behind them had been felt as though a shockwave was rippling out from Gibbs' own heart. As he'd waited for the M.E. to reach him from where he'd been searching, he'd found it difficult to tear his eyes away from the face of his missing agent. Ducky had let a large grin split his face as he'd lifted his chin and given a silent nod to the man upstairs. It truly was a miracle.

Gibbs' words seemed to have a domino effect through the team as Tony'd blinked slowly as the words registered, _"he's here." _Tony'd turned to Ziva, taken her shoulders in a firm grip and rejoiced "He's here!" Then he'd turned and was gone like a flash into the plane so he could go to his fallen brother's side.

Ziva had stood stock still with her hand resting lightly on her Star of David pendant. She'd been praying silent, heart-felt prayers of gratitude for the safe discovery of her friend, for the family her friend had lost and for the strength that they would all need to help Tim get through this. Gibbs had waited patiently for the barely there movement of her lips to stop because despite not being a religious man, he too had been silently thanking whatever deity that was out there for the return of his boy. Her lips had stopped moving and Ziva had bowed her head slightly before opening her eyes and focusing on Gibbs. He had been quick to offer her a warm smile before nodding towards the supplies that Ducky had left with her when he and the team leader had done their cursory search of the plane. In his eagerness to get to Tim, the M.E. still hadn't come to retrieve them, so Gibbs left the task of taking them to Ducky up to Ziva as he took out his phone to call for a medivac chopper.

Getting the news that Tim's plane had crashed seemed like an eon ago and none of them could really recall the emotions because they were too focused on getting word of Tim's condition from Ducky now. Tony could still remember the wave of relief that flowed over him as he'd first laid eyes on his battered and bruised teammate who had, as Abby had so vehemently sworn, miraculously survived the crash.

A quick, but stern glare from Ducky as Tony exploded into the body of the plane had been the only thing that had kept him from bursting with audible joy at the sight of his probie. He had stood, literally vibrating with pent up energy, as he watched the M.E. gently take note of the visible injuries and possible hidden injuries of the soundly sleeping young man.

Gibbs and Ziva had quietly joined them before Ducky had even uttered a word, obviously waiting until they were all present. "Jethro, I'm afraid, it as I suspected. His head injury is cause for great concern because he has 'slept' through my initial check. I am worried that this isn't a case of our boy being exhausted, but is unconscious and needs immediate medical attention. It's imperative that we get him down from this mountain as soon as possible so he can go to the closest trauma center. We really don't have any time to waste."

Seeing that Ziva had his medical supplies in her hand, the M.E. had given her a gentle, reassuring smile. "Thank you, my dear. I appreciate you bringing my bag to me. Jethro…"

"Medivac's on its' way, Duck. Can we move him and get him strapped to the backboard you've got with you while we're waiting for them?" Gibbs had asked quietly, his concern for the state Tim was in battling with his relief that his surrogate son was indeed alive.

_"_Yes. Gently, but first let's brace his neck and back. I don't want to take any chances that there are some minor fractures or damage that we cannot see. I know that he has obviously been mobile, but it is best to err on the side of caution." Ducky had spoken softly, "We should be able to slide it between the seat and his back before we move him."

Ducky and Gibbs had soon had Tim strapped down tightly. It wasn't long after that, when they'd heard the tell tale signs of a chopper circling to land. Tony had gone outside and let out a shrill whistle when the medic's crashed through the brush. The Senior Field Agent had watched in awe as the newly arrived medics took over and soon had Tim secured to be moved. Five minutes later, they'd fled the scene with Ducky hot on their heels without even looking back. The fact that the noisy arrival of the chopper hadn't even roused Tim, had churned the worry deep down in their guts and the looks on their faces had given testament to the fear that they all felt.

Ziva, Gibbs and Tony had scrambled to follow in their wake, only to be reminded by the lead medic that they would have to take another flight down because they needed room to work. With disappointment filling their hearts, they accepted the truth and were rewarded with the sound of a second chopper making its way up to them. They would arrive at the hospital mere minutes after their friend and truth be told, there was nothing they could do for Tim now anyway.

Giving his head a firm shake, Tony returned his thoughts now to the phone call that Gibbs had asked him to make.

_"Tony, call home as soon as we touch down."_

He knew how to speak Gibbs-speak, he was quite fluent in fact. Tony'd mentally translated the request, _"Tony, call Abby and let her know she was right to hope."_

Tony had shared his happiness with Ziva in the form of a small, genuine smile that she had quickly returned. This call was one that he welcomed making with open arms because he knew that the relief that it would give Abby would be immeasurable. His grin had widened as he'd heard Gibbs tell the pilot to divert directly to the hospital and the poor pilot trying to argue with Gibbs about protocol. Seeing the boss' glare at the hapless pilot almost had Tony laughing out loud. The poor pilot hadn't known who he was dealing with. _Failure to comply with Gibbs was NOT an option._

Tony had smiled as he'd realized why he'd been assigned the task of making the phone call. He'd known it was the boss' way of giving Tony back some relief after the rollercoaster ride of sorrow and guilt he'd been on in the last 48 hours even while there was still plenty to worry about regarding Tim's condition. Pulling out his cell phone, he'd hit the speed dial for his surrogate little sister.  
"Hey, Abbs."

_"Tony! Are you okay? Did you do everything Ducky told you to? Are you calling me with good news? Is…."_

"Hey! Abby!" Tony had yelled through her tirade.

_"Huh? Oh, Sorry, Tony. What's th…."_

_"_Abby, We got him!"

_"Really? Tony, don't play with me!"_

_"_Abby, you were right!"

_"You got Timmy? For real?"_

_"_For real, Abbs. He's already at the hospital. We're right behind him, our chopper's landing now.

_"Really? I mean…really, really?" _

_"_Yes, Abby, really, really."

_"Oh, Tony! That's so great! You guys are the best! I'm gonna go tell everybody. Call me when you know what the doctors say! In fact, you better have me on speaker when he talks to you! I wanna know!"_

"You bet, Abbs." Tony had promised as he'd chuckled and hung up.

* * *

That call had been made almost four hours ago and now they were all sitting in the waiting room nervously awaiting for news. Ducky finally returned to their midst with a doctor in scrubs on his heels.

"Ducky! What's the news?" Tony asked before anyone else could speak.

"Just a moment, Anthony." Ducky requested as he pulled out his phone and hit a speed dial then speaker.

"_Jimmy Palmer."_ Came the assistant M.E.'s tired voice.

At the answer, Ducky spoke. "Yes Jimmy, how are you dear boy?"

"_I'm fine, Dr. Mallard, thank you. How is Tim?"_

"I assume Abigail called after Timothy was found?"

"_Yes Doctor. I'm up to speed on what took place."_

"Good, good. The surgeon is here and I wanted you made privy to the information that will be shared momentarily." Ducky spoke gently knowing how upset Jimmy was at the fact that he could not be there with them.

"_Thank you, Doctor."_

After hearing Ducky make his phone call, Gibbs turned to Tony, "Tony, call Abby back so she can be in on this too." Gibbs instructed quietly.

"Oh, Right." Tony dug out his phone and hit the speed dial for Abby once more.

_"Hey, Tony. How's Timmy?" _Abby asked nervously.

_"Yes, Agent DiNozzo. What is McGee's condition?" _Vance's voice filled the air in the waiting room through the phone.

"Ah, Director Vance." Ducky answered for Tony. "Let's let Timothy's primary surgeon explain, shall we?"

"I understand that the circumstances surrounding Agent McGee's condition have left him without any actual immediate family members and that you are his co-workers?" the doctor asked for clarifying purposes.

"We're his family and have been part of his family for the last 6 years, Doc." Tony argued before sighing heavily and rubbing his hand over his eyes. "We're all he's got left now."

"Ah. I understand. Alright. Now I know Dr Mallard and Agent Gibbs are his proxies, but given the circumstances, I'm sure you're all anxious to hear about Agent McGee's condition. Let's sit, shall we?"

As the team quickly sat down and looked at him with growing impatience, the doctor kept talking. "I'm Dr. Greene and as your M.E. has stated, I was the lead Surgeon who operated on Agent McGee. While he's extremely lucky, he is suffering from exposure which can't quite be classified as hypothermia, but we'd still like to get his core temp up. He has severe abdominal and chest wall bruising that will need to be monitored to make sure that there are no complications."

The doctor took a break from talking to look and make sure all of them were still following what he was saying. Satisfied they were all still listening, he carried on.

"He had some swelling in is abdominal area, thus the need for laparoscopic exploratory procedure of that area. We found a very small bleed that we quickly cauterized and repaired. The fact that he suffered no more serious injuries is quite remarkable. However, it's the head injury that worries me. He has a small hairline skull fracture which has caused some swelling around his brain. We'll need to keep a close eye on that. If it doesn't go down on its' own within the next 12 hours, we'll have to go in and relieve the pressure."

"Why didn't you just do it while you had him under, Doc?" Tony demanded. He hated the fact that it was now a waiting game and that Tim's life seemed to dangle dangerously by the thread that was known as intracranial swelling.

"There's only so much trauma a body can withstand at one time, Agent…..?"

"DiNozzo." Tony supplied.

"Anthony, do calm yourself and let the good doctor explain, will you please?" Ducky asked gently.

"Sorry."

"I understand. Please keep in mind that we will do everything we can to make sure he recovers fully and without any lingering effects. As I already stated, he is extremely lucky and is suffering no life-threatening injuries with the possible exception of his head injury."

_"Meaning what, Doctor?" _Vance asked into the silent room.

No one knew what to say and were totally confused about the fact that Tim had no life threatening injuries, but the skull fracture could turn on a dime and potentially kill their teammate after they'd just gotten him back from the jaws of death once already.

"Director Vance, is it? What I mean is that barring any complications, as soon as Agent McGee's brain scans return to normal and he has reached healthy levels of hydration, nutrition and rest, he will be well enough to go home with you. As for returning to work; that will be up to whatever standards the job presents."

"His job is not the issue right now. Give me a timeframe, what exactly are we looking at to take him home with us." Gibbs asked firmly.

Right now, getting Tim back at work wasn't his priority and he wanted that fact to be known. The team leader was more worried about getting his agent home so that he could recover and grieve for the family that he'd lost. His return to work could wait until Tim was ready and if anyone pushed him, then Gibbs would have something to say about it.

"_Gibbs…" _Vance's voice came through the phone in an obvious attempt to argue the point.

"No, Leon! With everything else he's gonna have to deal with, his job is the least of our concerns right now!"

Vance's resigned sigh rang clearly over the phone.

"_So, Timmy's gonna be okay, right?"_

"Abbs, let's let the doc finish explaining, alright?" Gibbs encouraged his lab rat calmly.

"_If I may," Jimmy broke in, "Dr. Greene, do we know what his ICP is at the moment?"_

"We haven't yet determined what his intracranial pressure is at the moment. If the need arises, we will insert a bolt…" He paused at the frowns of confusion on his audiences faces. "Sorry. I know Dr. Mallard and Jimmy know what one is. A bold is a device that measures the pressure on his brain. I don't see a need for such an evasive procedure at the moment so we're going to work on reducing the swelling with drugs first." Dr. Greene answered.

"_Thank you." Jimmy said, relieved._

"You're welcome, Now Agent Gibbs, Director Vance, as much as I would like to give you an exact time, it wouldn't be prudent. Agent McGee is in control now. We will monitor him for the swelling and for any other complications that may arise, but I cannot determine the exact length of time it will take for him to fully recover. I won't sugar coat anything for you. The head injury alone gives me pause as to how he managed in that wilderness alone for as long as he did. He must have been in great pain. The fact that he is still alive tells me that it is probably the time spent without medical attention, more so that the actual severity of the injury, that has caused his current state. Now, as to your question of when he can return home, I have to tell you it's the same uncertain time frame with the same reasons behind it. We'll have to wait and see. Let's take one day at a time, shall we?"

"Understood." Gibbs didn't like uncertainty, in fact, not being certain, especially when it came to the well-being of his agents, pissed him off. Nevertheless, he would comply as long as Tim was recovering. Nothing else mattered, no matter what Vance had to say about it.

"_Thank you Doctor." __Vance's voice breaking the heavy silence__ "Agent Gibbs, keep me posted. As soon as he's clear to move, I'll have a plane ready to bring you all home. Your team is officially off duty roster until further advised."_

"Will do. Hey, let's keep the press outta this, huh, Leon?" Gibbs asked. The last thing any of them needed was journalists turning up about Tim. It was definitely the last thing Tim needed because in order to get over this, he needed the time to it out of the public eye.

_"You'll get no argument from me, Gibbs. I'll keep them out of the loop."_

"Appreciate it."

"_Gibbs! Gibbs! Don't hang up!" The formally quiet lab rat exclaimed._

"What is it Abby?" Gibbs couldn't help but smile.

"_Tell McGee…." She ordered excitedly._

"I'll tell him Abby….I'll tell him as soon as I can."

"_And give him…."_

"No, you give him your hug when we get home." Gibbs cut her short calmly.

"_Kay….bye."_

"_Thank you all for allowing me to be a part of this. Dr. Mallard, please tell Tim," Jimmy swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, "Please tell Tim I send my best and, and that I'm sorry."_

"I will certainly do that for you, dear boy. You get some rest and I will keep you updated when we learn more." Ducky smiled knowing what his tender hearted assistant was going through.

Gibbs leaned over and spoke directly into the phone, "Palmer, appreciate you taking care of Abby and doing what needed done with McGee's family. Consider yourself assigned to stay on it til we get back. Now do what Ducky said and get some sleep."

"_Th…thank you, Agent Gibbs. Good-bye." __Jimmy hung up to a chorus of good-byes from all in the room._

"If there's nothing else…." Dr. Greene spoke quietly.

"No, Doctor, thank you for taking the time to speak with us. May I accompany you back to check on young Timothy?" Ducky answered calmly.

"Of course." Dr. Greene smiled warmly, then turned to the small group, "Once we get him settled in ICU, I'll make sure you are allowed in to visit. He's going to need all of you once he becomes aware of what has happened. I will also have a grief counselor ready to speak to Agent McGee once he's been told the news about his family. I would advise waiting a day or two after he awakens before telling him though because the stress could cause the afore mentioned complications. I would also like to be present in case of any adverse reactions."

Gibbs surprised them all and shook his head. "No."

"Jethro?" Ducky asked with a confused frown. "Surely you…."

"I don't want him told about anything! Not his family, not the crash, none of it!" Gibbs' vehemence shocked them all.

"Agent Gibbs…." The doctor argued.

"Until we know what he remembers, I don't want him told anything! I don't want him to hear it from anyone, not even his nurses! I don't even want him to have a t.v in his room!" Gibbs ordered with steel in his tone. "After everything he's been through, the last thing we want is for him to let anything set his physical recovery back, am I wrong about that, Duck?"

"No, Jethro. You are not wrong. In fact, I do see the validity of your point. I also believe you are recalling your own experience with memory loss and are drawing from that." Ducky replied quietly as he walked to his friend and offered a supportive hand to his shoulder.

"Doc?" Gibbs looked to Tim's doctor for his view on the decision.

"As you wish, Agent Gibbs. I will instruct my staff to keep a lid on the subject."

"A tight lid, Doc. If and when Tim asks, I want him to hear it from us, his team, not from the strangers in this hospital." The boss declared. "I also want your staff to know that Dr. Mallard and I are Tim's medical proxies because I don't want anything done without one of us giving the okay or knowing about it. I don't wanna find out that something's gone wrong there because of an admin error…Oh, and no one talks to the press! Got it?"

"Jethro, calm yourself, as you recall, I am Timothy's primary physician and that will go a long way toward ensuring you and I are consulted as you are requesting."

"Good. Just so we understand each other." Gibbs looked at the doctor, waiting for his compliance.

"Understood." The doctor answered with a frown, "I'll have someone get back to you with the information on becoming Agent McGee's emergency medical proxy, Agent Gibbs. And I'll make sure my staff complies with the order not to turn your agent's recovery into a media circus. His being the only survivor of that crash won't stay a secret for long, though."

With a nod and a quick "thank you", Gibbs fell silent, the task of telling his young agent that his family, his entire family had been taken from him in the blink of an eye, causing him to do something he hadn't done in a very long time.

He prayed.


	12. Chapter 12

It wasn't long before one hour became 24, then 36. It was time for an update because something wasn't right despite what he had been told.

"_Not a coma. Just a very deep sleep. Minor swelling and subsequent pressure that it caused has reduced to a manageable level and is decreasing fairly quickly due to medications". _Those were the words doing summersaults around in Gibbs' head. _His GCS was 12._Whatever the hell that is. No one had taken any time to explain any of it, just started spitting out numbers and ratings and eye movement, verbal and motor skills and

"Would someone damn well stop and tell me what the hell is going on!" Gibbs bellowed when the last of his thinly stretched patience had ebbed away leaving the raw nerves that were being grated upon with every second that passed. All of a sudden, the waiting room silenced and every occupant turned towards the one who had made the demand.

"Jethro, I am sorry, my friend. I forget…come let me explain what's happened. Anthony, Ziva you as well." Turning towards Dr. Greene, Ducky continued, "I will take it from here, thank you."

Dr. Greene nodded and exited, smiling at the small group as he left.

Do we need to call Abby or Jimmy? Director Vance? Wouldn't they want to be in on this? Tony asked as he took out his phone.

"No, Anthony, that won't be necessary. I will update them more when there is more to tell. "Now please, let us sit shall we." Ducky chose the closest seat and waited until the others settled around him.

"Timothy isn't in a coma which is a very good thing, however he is in is a very deep sleep. His GCS…ahh sorry. You can't take the doctor out of me, I'm afraid. The Glasgow Coma Scale is 12 which is very good considering what he's been through. That actually puts him in the high moderate category for brain injury, but we feel, as I said earlier, that it is more exhaustive than anything else.. He has been through an awful lot but young Timothy is reacting to painful stimuli despite not fully awakening. We do feel, however, that he will be fully awake and alert very soon. I think now is the best time to 'get your ducks in a row' so to speak, Jethro. He will need a familiar face close by."

Gibbs raked a hand through his hair and sat back. That was a lot to take in, he still didn't know what a lot of it meant, but as long as it was positive, then he wouldn't argue. "When I was in there earlier, Duck, he was mumbling nonsense words. Nothing made much sense. He seemed to be upset, but not about the crash. Is that normal?"

"Quite, Jethro. It is a good indicator of his alertness level and actually a grade on the GCS scale. Three I believe. It will get better as he climbs up towards wakefulness. As far as Timothy being upset; his body is being subjected to quite a bit of sensory stimuli. Unfamiliar sounds, smells, even touches and feelings can all easily be playing a role in what his mind is imagining is going on."

"Wait." Tony stood, still unclear about his friend's condition and too wound up to stay silent about it. "You say it's not a coma, but a deep sleep. Isn't a deep sleep a coma? What the hell am I missing here? He's reacting but not waking? He's talking crazy talk and making NO sense. Maybe he doesn't want to wake up! Maybe he knows what happened and doesn't want to face it! My God! His whole family is dead! Why would he wanna face it? This is crazy!"

"Perhaps it is best if we allow Ducky to continue, yes." Ziva spoke softly as she placed a gentle, reassuring hand on Tony's arm.

When Tony looked over at her, he could see the pain and worry that resided deep in her brown eyes. He sighed and nodded. "Sure, okay. Sorry Ducky." Tony offered with a touch of embarrassment.

Allowing Tony to take his seat, Ducky continued, "Anthony I understand your worry, I am not without it myself. We still have a lot of unanswered questions. Mostly impart to how much he remembers and, given the fact the area of his brain that was impacted was the cerebrum, how much of his memories are intact. It's a 'wait and see' game now, I'm afraid. We will assess all of that when he does rejoin us. Until then, we must be patient and allow Timothy's body to recover at its' own pace." Ducky looked around, "Are there any other questions?"

"Yes, Gibbs spoke of his nonsense speaking. Why is that? Is there brain damage?" Ziva asked quietly hoping beyond all reason that their warm, intelligent friend wouldn't suffer any lingering damage.

"No, my dear. None that we could see. That is merely him vocalizing what his mind is remembering. Kind of like when one talks in their sleep as they dream. He doesn't know what he's saying or that he is even speaking."

"That is good." Ziva said with a sigh, "He spoke this nonsense as I visited him as well. It was quite unsettling." Ziva frowned.

"Might I ask what was said, my dear?" Ducky asked.

"He did not make sense to me. He spoke of brain matter and asking Abby if they 'drank blood'? Then there were tears, as if he were crying. Then he started to repeatedly ask why he was not good enough. I did not understand what had happened."

"Oh my! Well it is more than likely, Ziva, Jethro, that Timothy's injured brain is recalling memories out of sequence. Trying to fit them together like a puzzle and getting frustrated that they won't fit. I suggest we stop thinking what we hear from him as nonsense and consider it to be just what I have suggested." Ducky's soft voice tried to reassure.

"Or he could be having a naughty dream and…" Tony started.

_*thwack!*_

"Thank you, Boss. Sorry Boss." Tony answered as the slight pain registered at the base of his skull.

Ducky grinned, "Yes, Anthony. It could just be a dream, although I seriously doubt it is a naughty one. I do need to remind everyone that dream talking while one is in an injured state can result in one hearing things they should not be privy too. Do you all get my meaning on this? Anthony?"

Before anyone from the small group could answer, the nurse who'd been assigned to Tim's care for the past three days rushed into the room. "Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs stood, on edge at the look of concern on the young woman's face, "What is it?"

"Dr. Greene needs you in…." She didn't get to finish, because she soon figured out she was talking to an empty room.

The trip from the waiting room to the ICU cubicle was a quick one. Gibbs led the charge as his team filed into the room. "What's wrong!" Gibbs barked then froze at the sight before him.

Three nurses, two on one side and one on the other, along with Dr. Greene, were desperately trying to catch flailing limbs as another waited with a syringe. On the side, a recently torn IV tube was leaking its contents onto the floor around the Dr.'s feet.

The mournful cries emanating from the bed were heartbreaking and haunting, and Gibbs knew, that whatever they were doing wouldn't help.

"Get away from him! NOW!" Gibbs shouted and pushed his way towards the bed with Ducky right behind him. "Leave!" He growled.

Dr. Greene and the three nurses complied only as far as the foot of the bed as they watched the loud, gruff man before them transform into someone else. "Tim?" Gibbs spoke quietly as he rested a hand on his young agent's forehead, watching as that touch calmed him down a bit. "Tim, it's okay. You're fine…calm down before you hurt yourself more. That's right, son. Calm down. You're safe now. Ducky is here, your team is here." Gibbs looked over to his old friend standing on the opposite side of the bed and nodded.

"That's right, Timothy. Now listen to my voice and calm yourself my boy. Can you open your eyes for me?" Ducky spoke as he took a searching hand in his and held it gently between his own. "Feel me holding your hand, Timothy, focus on that touch. Good, good."

The eyes began to flutter lightly as the heart monitor slowed. Ducky smiled at Tim as he started to calm down. Soon, as the group watched with baited breath, the eyes open and the green orbs became visible before timidly looking around. It was a beautiful sight until the owner of those green eyes spoke. "Did…did you get the dog? Did you get it…I…I didn't mean to shoot… tell Abby….tell her I'm sorry….love….her….Why?….Why…." Then the eyes closed and peace reined again.

"Oh, hell!" Tony spoke to a dumbstruck room, all of whom knew where Tim's mind had taken him with the words they'd heard. "That isn't good, is it?"

"Let us clear the room and allow a thorough exam, then we can be more certain." Ducky stated as he turned and motioned for the room's occupants to leave.

All except three headed out. One was Dr. Green, who made his way back to the front of the bed, the second was a nurse who was, at the moment, replacing the IV pulled out earlier, and the third was Gibbs, arms folded and a stubborn look that told Ducky that he was going nowhere.

"Very well Jethro, if you must stay, please sit down and allow Dr. Greene and I to look over our patient."

Gibbs nodded and sat in the closest chair. "It's what you were afraid of, isn't it?" Memory loss?"

"Possibly." Dr. Greene lifted an eye lid and shown a pen light in Tim's right eye, "or it could have just been confusion, agitation and/or fear. It could be any number of things. We won't know till we take a scan and run some tests. It would help if he would wake up lucid and more alert and not combative." Turning to the nurse at his elbow, "Schedule a CT, and tell them I need those results yesterday. Understood?"

"Yes Doctor." The nurse left leaving a comforting smile in Gibbs direction.

"He woke up. That's what you wanted, right. This is a good sign." Gibbs grumbled.

"Yes, he woke up, but it wasn't a slow to wake return to consciousness. It was a violent waking. A response to a thought, dream or memory." Seeing Gibbs frown, Dr. Greene looked to Ducky for help.

"He was yanked back to us through a traumatic memory or event in his life, Jethro. The dog attack and the pain it caused. He didn't come back to us voluntarily, so he may not wake again for a few hours or, heaven forbid, days. His sleep is no longer restful. See the jerking of the limbs and the rapid eye movements? Timothy is not sleeping, he's reliving at least one traumatic experience that we now know of and that can cause more harm than good. If the CT scan comes back clean, we can give him a mild sedative to relax his mind and pull him into a deeper sleep that he can wake from naturally."

"I'm not leaving him alone tonight. He'll need someone here to calm him down when he has more of them." Gibbs stated with steel in his tone, as he stood and placed a hand on the jerking leg closest to him.

"Of course." Dr. Greene realized early on that you don't say no to this man. "As long as you don't try and pull him out of sleep. If he has another memory, you call the nurses and let them take care if it. Agreed?"

Gibbs stared at the man as if he'd lost his mind.

"Is there a problem with that medical request, Agent Gibbs?"

"You were just in here when he finally calmed down?" the Team Leader demanded with a touch of anger.

"Of course I was." Dr. Greene answered, insulted at being asked such an apparently dumb question.

"Hmm, funny, I thought sure it was me that he heard when he began to calm down and Ducky that kept talking to him until he had fully relaxed." Gibbs told him dryly, his glare daring him to argue the point.

"Doctor, they're ready for him in radiology. The orderlies are here to transport when you're ready."

"Thank you, Karen." Dr. Greene turned to address the other two in the room. "Agent Gibbs, I see your point and I'll agree to it, so long as you don't give the nurses any trouble while they see to his medical care."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Doc." Gibbs replied flippantly as he internally smiled in satisfaction at having won the right to make sure Tim wasn't left without someone there for him to wake up to.

"Please, Dr. Mallard, Agent Gibbs, if you would return to the waiting area, we will inform you the moment he's brought back to his room."

Gibbs and Ducky both took a moment to give the young man a pat on the leg. Just s they made to leave, they was brought up short by the broken words spoken from the bed, "Boss? Why don't … care? …try s.. hard….ake… u… proud … me, please….what…why…please."

Gibbs' pain filled eyes found and rested on Ducky. To his old friend, Gibbs' silent question clear as day and Ducky knew he had to do something about it. _ What memories are doing this to him? Help me fix this._

"Come Jethro, I think it's time we talked." Ducky said quietly as he encouraged his long-time friend out of the room.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey everyone. We just thought we'd add a wee note to let you all know we've used some creative license in this chapter._

_No one know's much about how the friendship between Ducky and Gibbs started, so we made it up (  
thought we'd warn you all before you lynch us lol)_

_Anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter so enjoy - Shelbylou_

* * *

Gibbs found himself being led outside by his old friend and before he knew it, they were standing in a coffee shop ordering their drinks. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, that he hadn't really noticed where Ducky was leading him.

"Ah yes. I'll have an Earl Grey tea...oh, You do serve that here don't you?"

"Yes, Sir. We've only just started serving it thoug because a couple of the doc's over at the hospital are British and seem to like it."

Ducky smiled warmly and nodded his head. "I'm afraid it's a much loved tea in the United Kingdom. Unfortunately it is pushed into second place by the good old cuppa of just plain old tea with a dash of milk. You know, there is quite an enthralling history behind the blend. The story says that a young, dashing earl by the name of Lord Charles Grey...otherwise known as 'old stinky' for his foul bodily odour..."

Ducky stopped and chuckled slightly. "Sorry, I digress. Well, apparently one of his men rescued a young Chinese boy from drowning when they were stationed in China. The Mandarin father was so grateful that he presented the Earl with a tea blend that was infused with the oil of the Bergamot fruit. Unfortunately, bergamot wasn't known to grow in that China at the time, but I do enjoy the story as much as the tea."

Gibbs shook his head and growled at his friend because he was in no mood for the stories that Ducky was prone to telling. "Duck!"

"What?" Ducky turned towards Gibbs and shook his head. "Patience, my friend, is a virtue." He glanced at the woman behind the counter and shook his head. "And my gruff friend there will have a coffee. Just black if you will my dear...oh, and may I have a dash of milk in the tea please."

Gibbs moved to the nearest table and sat down heavily. "Gruff? Huh. I'm tired Duck. I mean, How many times do I have to see these kids hurt like this?"

Ducky paid for the drinks and handed Gibbs the large, steaming coffee. "I know, Jethro. What can we do though? We are but mere mortals and nothing we say or do will ever keep them completely safe forever. Come. Shall we go and sit outside? It will be nice to see the great outdoors and simply relax for a short while."

"I saw a bench as we were coming in. It'll be cold though." At Ducky's slight shrug, Gibbs moved towards the door and led them over to the aged wooden bench that sat there. Seeing as it was on hospital grounds, the team leader stopped and read the inscription on the dated plaque:

_Barbara Kim_

"_Death may indeed be final but the love we share while living is eternal"_

"Ah, Don Williams, Junior. Such a short quote but our dear Barbara chose well there. It's a nice way to be remembered and no doubt she did a lot for this hospital and its' occupants." Ducky said as he sat down.

Gibbs nodded and sat down next to the M.E. "What do we do Duck? Tim's gonna have to be told eventually. You heard what they said. The kid's already having nightmares."

Ducky shook his head. "I believe I said he was responding to dreams, a thought or a memory. Jethro we won't know what's going on in that head of his until he wakes up. Give the boy more credit than you are now because I happen to know that he's more confident and stable than he was all those years ago when he joined the team."

Gibbs sighed and gazed out over the small garden that had been created. There was a cold snap moving in and a glistening frost had started forming on the pavements giving it a sparkle that was both enchanting and beautifully serene. The team leader watched the traffic that stopped by and liked the fact that even though it was chilly, there were still people relaxing or taking a moment of tranquillity away from the stress of having relatives in the hospital. There were even members of staff taking a break with a hot drink; it was perfect. Here in Colorado, things just seemed so much more peaceful than back in D.C.

"I know. This is different though. Back when I lost Shannon and Kelly, Duck, my world ended right there and then and I couldn't see a way forward. All I could think of was revenge and until the bastard that killed them was dead, then I could grieve. I know Tim isn't alone but I still know exactly how he'll be feeling."

Ducky nodded, remembering the news he received on that terrible day so many years ago. It was a strange twist of fate that bought the Gibbs family into his life, and from day one both he and his mother had become quite fond of Shannon and the wonderful little girl that Kelly was.

"I do remember. We had become quite good friends despite you being stationed abroad. I can remember the six months that you were home clearly and always did admire the love that radiated from your home." Ducky sighed heavily. "I have lived in the US for about 15 years now and from what I remember our first house neighbored yours. We were firm friends before that incident Jethro and I know how hard it was for you then."

"I know." Gibbs took a huge gulp of his coffee and sighed. "Still is. Especially after..."

"After the explosion?" Ducky asked. Gibbs nodded sadly in a rare show of emotion that he only truly showed in front of Ducky.

"I told you what happened; what I dreamt about. I didn't wanna wake up then and I still wish I was in that world with my babies. I remembered them. I remembered what it was like having them there."

"And that is something that Timothy is going to have to learn Jethro. He will feel so alone when he finds out and you know as well as I do, that losing one's family like that will most definitely push the fact that he has a secondary family and friends who care out of his mind. We have to help him remember and help him through the grief." Ducky paused to sip at his hot drink and savoured the heat that it provided. "We have to help with the physical and emotional trauma as well because no doubt that young man feel be feeling it for a while yet."

"No doubt..." Gibbs agreed. "In some weird way, this just seems harder because it someone I care about being hurt. I dunno Duck. I just don't want to cause him any more pain than he needs right now."

"Jethro..." The M.E. was cut off by Gibbs phone ringing.

The team leader gave an apologetic smile and answered the offending cell.

"Gibbs."

"_Boss" _Gibbs cringed hoping that Tony wasn't ringing with more bad news.

"What's wrong, DiNozzo?"

"_Tim's awake, Boss. He's...I don't know. Probie looks like he's scared to death of us almost like he thinks we're gonna hurt him. We need you back here, Gibbs. I think those dreams really got to him bad, Boss. "_

Gibbs closed the phone and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "McGee's awake. Gotta get back there, Duck." He stood up and was about to walk away when he felt a gentle hand on his arm. Turning round, he faced Ducky with a frown.

"Jethro. Given your experiences and knowing what it is like to come out of something with little or no memory, maybe you should draw upon those times and use it as a guideline of what to do. Can you remember how you felt at the time?" Gibbs nodded and remembered the fear and frustration that came from the memory loss. "Timothy will be feeling like that too. Keep reminding him that he's strong and try to get him to remember by gently easing him back in. It might come back quickly or it may take a while. Either way, be patient."

"I will. Thanks Duck."

Ducky smiled and took Gibbs coffee mug. "You are very welcome. Now, go on and see to the poor boy and I will go and get some refreshments for everyone."

Gibbs nodded and started heading back hoping that Tim, would actually remember him and that the journey wouldn't be as bumpy as it was laid out to be.

***NCIS***

"So Probie. How're you really feelin'?" Tony asked as he walked back into the room and felt his heart drop at the flinch and sense of fear that sat deep in the dull green eyes that peered back at him from the bed. "That good huh? Well, good news. The Boss is on the way with Ducky so it'll be a reunion..." Tony paused for a moment and glanced at Ziva.

She simply nodded her head and let her gaze settle shakily on Tim's wary face. "Well, Kinda. I think Abby's probably gonna be on her way because you know our Lady of the night. She won't want to stay away for long."

"Who are you?" Tim asked as he tried to shy away on the bed. It was too much. Waking up in a strange room with strange people who appeared to know who he was. It was overwhelming. The nightmare that had thrown him back into the waking world flashed through his mind.

_An open autopsy drawer with a distantly familiar body lying on it. The corpse is ashen as it lays there with one, small bullet hole in the forehead. The chill of death assaults his senses as he gazes down upon the woman that he knew to be a vibrant, strong person...Teeth. Not human but pointed and canine. They flash towards him as he stands there stunned before feeling them sinking into his neck. The devil dog backs away, red eyes shining as the beast goes in for the kill once again..._

Those were the two flashes of scenes gone by that flung him out of the depths of despair he was in. It was like being in limbo and right now he wasn't sure whether or not this was much better. He knew the older man but he just couldn't put his finger on the name. It was almost as if it was there, on the forefront of his mind; the tip of his tongue but whenever he reached out for it, it eluded him and stepped back further.

The same could be said for the pretty woman with him. He found himself feeling more at ease with her and everytime she spoke, her soft accent seemed to soothe him gently. Tim lay there and turned his head so that he could look out of the window at the world outside. It was as strange to him as the hospital room he now lay in and with every passing moment, the feeling that he had forgotten something nagged at him. The door to the private room opened suddenly startling him out of his reverie.

"Timothy. It's good to see you awake my boy. How are you feeling? Any pain?" Ducky walked straight to the bed and started to fuss over Tim. "Judging by the look in your eyes, you have a headache. Timothy, do not be afraid to ask for relief when you need it. It will do you no good to suffer with it silently."

Tim sighed and nodded. "Sorry." He paused and frowned. "Sign of weakness?..."

"Yeah, Tim. It is." Gibbs stated softly and moved to the other side. The team leader gently picked up the slightly trembling hand and held it between his own. "Easy, Tim. You're safe now."

"No...I...why can't I remember. I keep getting flashes, but...but..." Tim's weak, raspy voice trailed off as the medication that flowed through his veins threatened to pull him under. "I can't..."

"Give it time." Gibbs said gently and rested his hand on top of Tim's head. With a sigh, the team leader watched as Tim's eyes fluttered closed and the edgy, panicky breathing was replaced by the deep heavy breath of sleep. "Hey. You guys go and grab something to eat and go back to the hotel to get some rest. I'm gonna stay here with Tim."

"Boss, we don't wanna..."

"DiNozzo, right now he's scared and having too many people around him isn't gonna help. After you've eaten, Let Ducky check you out and give Abbs and Vance a ring. They need to know that Tim's alright. Tryin' to force him to remember is only gonna make this harder on him and on you."

"Boss.." Tony argued.

"Not up for discussion, DiNozzo. Go." Gibbs watched as Tony walked out of the room and settled into the chair by Tim waiting for him to wake up once again.

***NCIS***

An hour later found Ducky, Tony and Ziva all huddled together in Tony's room eating Chinese from a take out that the hospital staff had highly recommended. The senior agent stabbed his fork into the carton of beef and broccoli.

"Tony, for the love of...will you please just eat your dinner." Ziva said. She had sat there eating her Singapore noodles and was currently half way through whereas Tony hadn't actually touched his at all. Ducky set his chopsticks down and shook his head.

"Anthony it is difficult to enjoy my chow mein when you are sitting there glaring at your dinner as if it will jump out and bite you. What is it my dear boy? What is on your mind?"

Tony huffed out a laugh and shook his head "You're gonna think I'm crazy but do you even realise what I've ordered?"

"Beef and broccoli?" Ziva asked with a frown. "There is always an order of that on our lunch time orders."

"Yeah. But who's is it? It's sure as hell not mine." At their confused look, Tony placed his carton down and sat back wearily in the chair. "It's Probie's. We all change what we have, but the kid? He always orders the same thing. I didn't even think about what I was ordering until we got back and now..."

"You feel as though you are betraying him somehow by enjoying his favourite meal? Anthony, please. You are not doing anything wrong by eating beef and broccoli. Don't you share it with Timothy when he orders it?"

"Well yeah, but only because I've always shared his food even when he asks me not to, but Probie doesn't ever order anything else. Just this."

Ducky nodded and smiled. "Then perhaps you can sample it and treat our young friend to dinner once he is out of the hospital. Now do eat up won't you, because I want to check your lungs and then you have to ring the Director and Abigail. They are long overdue for an update. I'm quite surprised that the dear girl hasn't been ringing your phones off the hook all this time as it is."

"I tried calling but both of their phones went to voicemail. Dunno why, but I've left em messages." Tony replied and sighed heavily as he reached over and picked up the carton of Chinese. "Guess I better finish this. Probie'll be pissed if he thinks we've wasted his fave."

"He will, Tony." Ziva said gently and reached over to pat his arm. "He will be okay. We will help him through this."

"I kno...damn." Tony's phone started ringing and he jumped up to try and grab it out of his pocket. He flipped it open and hurriedly answered it. "DiNozzo."

"_Agent DiNozzo. I apologise for not answering my phone or returning your call until now, but we were travelling and as you know, we can't use our cells on the aircraft. Would you care to answer your door?"_

Tony frowned and before he could answer, there was a loud banging on their door. He turned towards the noise before moving to answer, but Vance had hung up. "Crap."

"Tony, what is the matter?" Ziva asked and watched him walk over to answer the door. "Who...?"

Ziva was cut off when Tony answered and was knocked slightly off balance by the familiar hurricane that usually accompanied the arms wrapped around his neck.

"Ooof...Abby?"

"Tony! We were so worried! You promised updates since the first talk with Timmy's doctor and then we heard nothing for hours and hours and well, we finally decided to come see for ourselves and we..."

"Take a breath Miss Scuito." Director Vance walked in carrying two small overnight bags. He placed them down on the floor and turned to the stunned audience in front of him. "Well, seeing as we travelled all this way, would someone like to finally fill me in on how Agent McGee is doing?"


	14. Chapter 14

_Sorry for the long wait, but we hope you enjoy :) - Shelbylou_

* * *

_"Take a breath Miss Scuito." Director Vance walked in carrying two small overnight bags. He placed them down on the floor and turned to the stunned audience in front of him. "Well, seeing as we travelled all this way, would someone like to finally fill me in on how Agent McGee is doing?"_

Ducky sighed heavily and put his food down. The director knew about Tim's injuries and knew that the most severe was the head injury that Tim had suffered. What he didn't know, was that Tim had woken up confused, combative and re-living old situations that his memory had dredged up from his past.

"Director, how was the journey?" He asked softly and stood to shake the Director's hand.

"Interesting." Vance replied dryly with a quick glance in Abby's direction.

Ducky smiled and glanced at Abby. He saw the tears of frustration and worry and held out his arms, inviting her in for a comforting hug. "Abigail, come here."

"Ducky, we're so worried and no one told us how Timmy was and then we had to drive up here from the airport and no one called and..." Abby started as she melted in the M.E.'s arms. Ducky patted her back and stood there listening to her patiently.

"Abbs! Take a breath!" Tony ordered and shook his head. "Probie's alive just like you told us he was. That's something we can all be thankful for right now."

"But?" She pushed when she heard the odd note in his voice.

Ducky stepped back and watched as Abby moved to hug Ziva before being safely ensconced in Tony's arms. "Director, you know the injuries our young man has suffered. He has suffered severe bruising over most of his body which will make him more than a little bit uncomfortable for a wee while. It's his head injury that has everyone worried though. It seems he has a small skull fracture and a severe concussion. Honestly, it's a wonder that the boy didn't suffer anything worse. Timothy is extremely lucky. We all are."

"Very." Leon agreed and picked up his bag. "Right. Now that we're here, I'm going to go and throw my bag in a room and get over to the hospital. Miss Scuito?"

Abby pulled away from Tony and nodded. She felt a kiss to her head and turned to give Tony a watery smile before heading out with the director.

"Well, that went well." Tony said dryly. "I can't believe I forgot to call them."

"We've been pre-occupied." Ziva offered gently knowing that the stress of the whole situation would exacerbate his guilt and make it run away on a tangent that wouldn't help any of them. "It does not matter now. What matters is that they are here."

***NCIS***

Gibbs sat watching Tim as he slept fitfully. It tore at him knowing that his agent was in so much pain, but there was little that he could be done because of the head injury. He sat back in his chair and sighed heavily.

"Boss..." Tim's weak voice carried over to him and the team leader shot up out of his chair and made his way over to his fallen agent. He leaned down so that he was in Tim's line of sight and smiled softly.

"Hey, Tim. How're you feeling?" Gibbs kept his tone quiet and encouraging. The last thing he wanted to do was add to Tim's pain and knew that he often hid it. Hopefully he'd be able to draw his Agent out of himself enough to talk about what was bothering him.

"I...what happened? I...Boss?" Tim's voice shook with a fear that reminded Gibbs of a scared, confused little boy. It was understandable given the circumstances but it still tore at the team leader.

Gibbs frowned .No doubt the confusion was down to the head injury but it still tore at him seeing the usually bright as a button kid that way. "Shhh, Tim. You were in a plane crash, but you're safe. We were all out looking for you and found you huddled up with the supplies that Fornell left for you."

"All..who...?"

"Me, Tony, Ziva, Abby and a whole bunch of other people including Fornell and his team." He watched as Tim frowned and cocked his head. There was something there; something in his eyes that worried the team leader. "Tim. Talk to me. What is it?"

"To...Tony. Who...I don't kn...Boss...?"

"Who's Tony? What do you remember?"

"I do...don't know. I mean...bits..." Tim closed his eyes and clenched his fists with frustration. All he could see was what his dreams were telling him and there was no way that they were right. Snippets kept assaulting him and he had no idea who the tormenters were or why they were doing the things that they did.

_A dog...a big dog biting him and some Gothic girl calling him Bad McGee. You're taking him, McGee. Deal with it._

_A , not a joker.A man.A man that teases him mercifully; the taunts running rampant through his mind_.

Tim felt the pressure in his head increase and it started to pound with the emotions that flew threw his mind. He wanted to remember! _Damn it! He didn't want to think about his dreams...nightmares. He just didn't._ But, what he wanted didn't matter and he let his mind drift to the situations that tore at his gut.

"Damn it! McGee! Can you hear me? Tim...DiNozzo! Go,get the doctor." Gibbs had glanced up when the door had opened and felt a wave of relief wash through him. His barked order had Tony backing out to go and find the one person that could hopefully help his Probie.

Tim followed the faint voice and opened his eyes. "I ca..can't. I don't want...to."

Tony came back into the room and looked at Tim as he told Gibbs the news. "Doc's on his way, Boss. Vance and Abby are right behind me, too. They got here just a little while ago." Tony moved to stand next to Tim and took his Probie's hand. With a squeeze, he leaned down and smiled warmly. "Hey Probilicious. How 'bout you calm down before you do yourself anymore damage?"

Tim's eyes widened and filled with fear as his breath hitched at the sight of one of the tormentors from his dreams. _This man was the one taunting him and making him feel as though he didn't matter. Why was he here? Why...?_

"Nooo...Boss?...hel...hel..." Tim found it more and more difficult to breathe as panic filled his mind. _He didn't want to deal with this now; he hurt all over and the room seemed to be closing in on itself._ Panic reined and he found himself drifting away and with every struggled breath, pain seemed to radiate anew through every part of his body.

"Agent McGee? Can you hear me? Damn it!"

Gibbs watched on as the doctor tried to bring his agent back from the panic that was overtaking him. "Okay, we're going to have to sedate him for now because we can't afford for the pressure to bui..." the doctor paused when Tim clamped his hand around his arm.

"No...Who...where...Damn it!" Tim's fear filled eyes never left Tony before the pull of the drugs tugged at him and he fell into a medicated sleep that would help him heal.

***NCIS***

Jimmy sighed heavily as he pushed Sarah McGee's body back into the freezer. He remembered her and knew that Tim loved her dearly. He heard a whine behind him and turned to look into the dejected, sad eyes of his friend's beloved dog.

"Hey, boy. Let me grab my coat and we'll make our way home." He moved to kneel next to Jethro and scratched at his ears. "You miss him huh? Its' okay. We miss him too." With a sad smile, he stood up and walked over to put his coat on. He paused when his cell phone rang and pulled it out to answer it.

"Hello?"

"_Mr. Palmer. How is everything there?" _Ducky's voice sounded beaten and worn, but Jimmy knew that the kindly M.E. would do everything in his power to make him feel better.

"Hi, Dr. Mallard. Okay I think. We still have the McGee's and I've made them as comfortable as possible and I'm about to take Jethro back to my place. I...I don't have anything for him." Jimmy said sadly and thought about what he would need. "He can sleep on the bed with me, but what does he eat?"

"_Jimmy, you have the key to my desk. In the top drawer, there are some spare keys for my house and I want you to take them and stay there tonight. The guest room is ready for you to sleep and there is still some dried food...sorry Kibble...in the bottom cupboard next to the refrigerator. There will be enough in there to keep him going for a couple of days. Tomorrow, you can take the rest of it back to your apartment."_

"Dr. I couldn't impose on your like that. I..."

"_You live too far away to be travelling that way and you need the food for him. Mr. Palmer, it's getting late and you've had a traumatic couple of days. Let Jethro have the run of the backyard it will do him good. Please, take the time to relax. I'll even let you call your lovely fiancé and she can stay with you." _Ducky jumped in.

Jimmy blushed at the mention of his one true love and nodded; forgetting for a moment that Ducky couldn't see him.

"_Mr. Palmer?"_

"What? Oh sorry, Doctor. Um, yes. I'll call her."

"_What's wrong, lad?" _

Jimmy sighed heavily and sat down heavily in the Ducky's desk chair. He tapped his leg and watched as Jethro padded over to be comforted. "You said...you mentioned that an autopsy wouldn't be needed, but when I was helping prepare the bodies for transport to the funeral home, I noticed a stab wound in Mr. McGee's shoulder. It wasn't linked to the crash because it was too clean."

"_A knife?"_

"That would be my best guess. I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. I know that there wasn't any reports of the plane being hijacked but still..."

"_It does bring to mind a terrorist act or maybe some vigilante trying his luck..." _Jimmy heard Ducky sigh on the other end of the phone. "_So, you need to do the autopsies. Jimmy YOU don't have to do them personally. I can call Jordan in to do them."_

"I want to...well not want to, but have to. For McGee. I'd appreciate Jordan's help though."

"_Then I shall call her as soon as I get off the phone to you. Come to think of it, I believe that Timothy would not want you to have to handle the task alone. Jimmy…."_

"Yes, Doctor?" Jimmy answered sadly and turned to dig out the spare desk key that was well hidden underneath the surface of the desk.

"_Thank you."_ The gratitude was so heartfelt and kind, that Jimmy felt his throat constrict with the tears that had threatened to flow as soon as he was tasked with taking his precious cargo home. He felt the hand that was lax, and resting on his leg being nudge and looked down into the deep, brown eyes of the Alsatian in his care.

"Um...That's okay. I...I...I should get Jethro home. He'll be hungry. Thanks for letting me use your house.

"_Anytime dear boy. Make sure you get a good night's sleep and if I hear you've been alone I will not be happy. You need someone there with you."_

"I'll call Bree. How's Tim doing?"

"_He's not doing too well I'm afraid, but he's alive and we'll help him through it."_

The tears that threatened to fall slipped down Jimmy's face and he fought to keep his emotions in check. "well that's something at least...I should be going. I need to get Jethro..."

"_Understood. Take care Jimmy, and I'll ring you with an update in the morning."_

Jimmy said his goodbyes and hung up. With a heavy sigh, he slid out of the chair onto one knee and wrapped his arms around Jethro. His emotions ran high as he lost his tenuous hold on his emotions and sobbed out his overwhelming relief, frustration, sadness and worry against the thick fur.

***NCIS****

"WHAT the HELL was THAT?" Tony fumed loudly and started to pace. Gibbs had led Tony out as soon as the doctor had arrived knowing that Tim's actions would have hurt his Senior agent deeply. He sighed heavily, trying to come up with an answer that would help soothe Tony, but came up blank. He didn't take his eyes of the younger man and knew, that despite being able to talk and breathe freely now that they were away from Tim; Their ailing friends words had cut like a knife. "Since WHEN is he AFRAID of ME?"

"Tony, it's pretty obvious that his head injury has been playing havoc on his memories. It happened to me when I was in that coma and I know for a damn fact it's happening to, McGee." He saw Tony flinch slightly at the mention of the explosion that left Gibbs fighting against the memories that his mind kept dragging up. "He's dredging up the crappy experiences he's had and drawing a hell of a lot of fear from them. Hate to say it DiNozzo, but a lot of them are probably at your hands."

Tony stopped and glared at his Boss before dropping his head and laughing dryly. "Yeah, aint that the bitch of it all. I'm an ass at the best of times but because I picked on McGeeas a daily habit,he's now too damn scared to be in the same room as me." The bitterness in the laugh and Tony's voice let Gibbs catch a glimpse of the guilt that now pooled deep within Tony's heart alongside the confusion and anger at his little brother being injured. "You know, after all these yearsof me giving him such a hard time every day, and the Probie finally started to give backalmost as good as I was giving him. What the hell have I done to him, Boss? Why didn't he tell me how much I was hurtin' him?"

"You and I both know that head injuries can do funny things to your brain where memories are concerned, DiNozzo. Besides, would you have listened?" Gibbs answered softly, his tone low and neutral as Tony continued to rant.

"The dog attack!" Tony remembered those scary moments in Tim's room the day before when the younger man had been so frightened of the memory of that experience. "Fine time for his memory to be serving up the worst of what he's been through."

"That's not the worst, DiNozzo." Gibbs reminded him quietly. "He's been through worse than that. It just happens to be where his mind chose to take him while he's been sleeping."

Tony looked up from where he was looking at the ground in front of him and frowned. He dropped his head again in defeat huffed. "Great. Just great. So how the hell do we help him when he's too damn scared of us to let us near him?"

"Not all of us, Tony. He's not afraid of Ducky or me. Seems like he trusts me and we know he trusts Ducky"

"Yeah, thanks for that, Boss. Thanks for reminding me that I've been so much of an ass that the kids scared of me...DAMN IT!" Tony shouted, startling two nurses that were making their way back into the hospital. Gibbs reached over and tapped the back of Tony's head; a ghost of the headslap that he usually delivered.

"When you've finished thinkin' about yourself, maybe you'll realise that's a good thing."

Tony sighed heavily. "Guess we can be thankful for that. At least he won't be alone...any more alone than he has to be." Tony muttered.

"And we can be damn thankful he's alive, Tony!" Tony looked up at the harsh tone and looked directly into Abby's serious face. She sat down next to him and threw her arms around his middle as she snuggled up to him. "Thank heavens for small mercies. Tony, he's alive; that's gotta count for something right?" She squeezed him tightly and melted into him when he put his arm around her.

"Is there a reason I haven't been updated on my injured agent's status, Agent Gibbs?" Vance asked sourly as he stepped over to where they were sitting. He had followed Abby after she had heard Tony's shout and the sight of two of his MRCT team sitting there, seemed to fuel his ireat being kept out of the loop.

Gibbs stood and gestured for Vance to walk with him so they could talk man to man without having to worry how the others would take it. "Ducky come with you?"

"He's checking on Agent McGee as we speak. Now how about you answer my question?" Vance replied with a nod.

"Updates have been sporadic at best, Leon. With the time difference, it was pretty hard to remember to call without worrying that we'd be pullin' you out of bed in the middle of the night."

Vance narrowed his eyes and glared at Gibbs. "Why do I feel as if I've walked into the middle of a problem no one has told me about?"

"Don't know. Gut feeling?"

"You could say that. You're not the only one to get gut instincts, Gibbs. No matter how famous yours is."

Gibbs sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes. Exhaustion and worry were starting to take their toll and he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep the usual tight rein on his emotions. "Apparently, McGee's memories are playin' on a loop thank to his head injury. He's scared of DiNozzo which we think it's from the years of ragging on McGee and pullin' pranks on him."

"Well, if that's the case, I expect he's acting pretty scared of you, too, right about now. Let's face it, you've been pretty damn intimidating, unapproachable and for the most part, uncaring."

"No. Seems to be fine around me." Gibbs answered shortly, deliberately ignoring Vance's characterization of his leadership style.

"For now, Jethro. However, I wouldn't remain too comfortable with that assessment." Ducky offered quietly as he walked over to where the two men stood. "Timothy's memories seem to be returning in sporadic bursts. Right now he's getting snapshots of things he has no understanding of, which is why he's so afraid. It's those snapshots that may eventually bring forth the fear and trauma that relates to your actions over the years. I am sorry Jethro, but let's face facts; there have been numerous occasions where you have treated that young man badly."

"No different to the way I treat em' all Duck. I don't treat them badly, I just want them to learn."

"Yes, but your methods are unconventional and where they wouldn't usually be a problem, Timothy's current health issues make it a problem. Let's face it Jethro. You do favor the other team members slightly more than Timothy."

Gibbs shook his head and chose to ignore Ducky's last statement. He was going to leave the observations from the rather astute man alone for now and simply looked at his old friend with narrowed his eyes. "Well?"

"He's sleeping. That sedative was quite strong since they do not want him to become stressed like that again. They will however, be keeping a close eye on him because sedating someone with a head injury like that isn't ideal."

"What aren't you telling us, Duck?"

Ducky's only tell was his glasses and whenever he because nervous or worried, he would pull out his handkerchief and clean them. Gibbs couldn't help but sigh when the M.E. did just that as he started to speak."Ah, well from what I've been told and what I've heard, I do not think it wise for Abigail to attempt to visit with Timothy just yet. I understand he's currently replaying the incident with Jethro and we both know that she was a key player in that."

"Who gets to be the bearer of that news, Duck?" Gibbs asked tiredly "Because I don't have the energy to be the one dealing with her when she finds out. My focus is on McGee. I'm goin' back in as soon as they'll let me."

"Then I shall speak to Abigail, Jethro. Honestly, I don't know why you are worrying about that. All we want is the best for Timothy."

"Yeah, but we both know that after waiting on pins all week while we've gotten to see him, she's not gonna be happy..." Gibbs started to counter. Vance held up his hand.

"I don't care whether she's happy or not. Right now, you two are the only people he will let near, so let's work with that. If and when Tim wants to see everyone else, then fine but he is my only concern. Don't forget we still need to break the news about his family."

There was an ominous silence that reined at the mention of Tim's family. Ducky cleared his throat and put his glasses back on.

"Yes, well as Jethro pointed out when we first brought Timothy in, it might not be a good idea to tell Timothy about that just yet. In addition to our original concerns regarding Timothy's ability to cope with such tragic news on top of what he's already dealing with, I have spoken to Mr. Palmer and he found something that means we have to perform an autopsy on ."

"What did he find?"

Ducky relayed the information and stood there waiting for a response. Gibbs and Vance were in complete shock and all three of them knew that this new piece of information was just another torrid link in the chain of events that cost Timothy McGee, his family.


	15. Chapter 15

_Sorry for the long wait, but we hope you enjoy :) - Shelbylou and Smartkid37_

* * *

Everyone turned to make their way back into the hospital so that they could sit down in the cafeteria over a cup of coffee. The wind had picked up leaving them all feeling chilled, but there was a lot to talk about and a lot to go through if they were going to figure out how to help Tim and deal with his mental trauma; especially with regard to his memories of his teammates now and in the future. It was hard, and right now the problem of how they were going to tell him about his family lay heavily in their hearts because not only was Tim without the people that he loved and revered the most, but his secondary family was torturing him in his dreams leaving him frightened and more alone than they could ever imagine.

Just as they were walking up to the front entrance, Abby ran out with tears streaming down her face.

"Abigail? What on earth?" Ducky started to move towards his young friend to comfort her, but when she saw them all standing there, the Goth let out a loud sob and ran off, leaving them all standing there shocked at what had just happened.

"Aww damn it! She must have snuck in to see Probie..." Tony trailed off and looked toward where Abby had run. "Boss if she saw him and he..."

"I know, DiNozzo." Gibbs sighed heavily glanced towards the corner his Forensic Scientist had turned. "Ducky, you better come with me to talk to Abby."

Ducky shook his head as he placed a comforting hand on his friends arm. "Jethro, let me. If Timothy woke up and saw her there, he might need some comfort right now. I shall talk to her while you take care of our young man."

Gibbs nodded. "Okay. Leon, can you take DiNozzo to get coffee? I'm goin' to go sit with McGee. DiNozzo! If you bring me coffee, let me know first."

"Sure thing, Boss." Tony answered quietly.

"Alright, Agent DiNozzo, lead the way." Tony led the way with slumped shoulders and as they moved out of sight, Gibbs turned to Ducky.

"Duck, make sure she doesn't take this to heart and tell her to stay away for a little while. It's not worth them both hurting each other this way and her frame of mind sure as hell won't help him recover as well. I wanna be able to take him home or at least to Bethesda and you know what she's like, she'll just put him on edge and the docs'll keep him here."

Ducky shook his head. "This is a sad situation, Jethro. Timothy has lost more than he knows or remembers. I fear it may take a while for the memories to fully surface because of his head injury. That kind of trauma is difficult to deal with and we simply can't anticipate how fast or slow his recovery will be. A grounding presence will help though."

"Which is why I'm gonna go and stay with him." Gibbs turned away and made his way inside knowing that leaving Tim wasn't a good idea. Ducky's _'yet'_ rang through his mind because truth be told, he'd been a bastard over the years and it was only a matter of time before Tim started having nightmares about him as well.

***NCIS***

Ducky rounded the corner and saw Abby sitting hunched into herself on a bench. She was a picture of true misery with her shoulders slumped but shaking slightly with every sob that wracked her frame. He sighed and moved to sit next to her so he could pull her into a warm embrace.

"Oh Abigail. You should have waited my dear."

"I kn..know but I wanted to see him. Ducky he...he..." Another round of sobs broke the young woman's words and she practically melted into the soothing comfort that the M.E. was offering.

"I know, I know. He's not well Abigail. Please remember that."

"I know that Ducky, but he didn't really recognize me and acted all scared and stuff. He took one loo...look at me and started to whimper and sh...shy away. What did I do to deserve that?" Her confusion was genuine and sparked a mixture of compassion and ire in the ordinarily mild mannered M.E.

Ducky pulled back and looked Abby directly in the eyes. "I know you are upset, but do not make this about yourself, my dear." He admonished. "That poor boy is injured, struggling with his memories and has yet to be told that his family all perished in that tragic crash. He's currently remembering all the times that you and Anthony treated him poorly. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd go as far as to say that all those times you were very graciously forgiven, however the events replaying in his mind now, were not completely forgotten and his subconscious is trying to make sense of it all."

"But..."

"No, Abigail! There are no buts!" Ducky snapped causing Abby to break down in a fresh wave of tears. "Oh Abby. I apologize but really, you must do the same as Timothy and forgo his current actions and state of mind so that we can help him. He will need all of our support, care and love but right now, he's too busy battling his demons and is terrified of being hurt again. It's that fear, that will hinder his recovery and prevent him healing. It is detrimental and it cannot be permitted, do you understand? I know it is painful but you must stay away from him until his mind can process this and until he starts to remember your friendship as a whole, it is going to be hard. You will simply have to wait for that day and then, when he asks for you, then you go to him and be supportive."

Abby nodded but didn't say anything making Ducky frown. He pulled her in close again and sat there holding her until the tears dried up, leaving her hiccoughing against his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. I think so. Like you said, this isn't about me. I'm sorry Ducky. It's just so hard and I hate...How is he going to cope with the news about his family? What happens when he remembers?"

"Two valid questions that I don't have the answers to, my dear. All we can do is be there for him when he needs it no matter how painful it is for us. Remember, Abigail,no matter how much we are hurting for him, his pain will be a hundred times worse."

Abby sat there silently pondering what Ducky had said and of course, he was right but it didn't make it any easier to tolerate. "I know. Can we...can we go back inside. I'm cold."

Ducky rubbed his hand up and down on her arm before moving to stand. He held out his hand and waited for her to take it before tugging slightly so that she stood up. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and started to walk towards the entrance feeling as though at least one battle, had been won.

***NCIS***

_A warm smile...plane seats...a bathroom..._

Snippets of a flight ran through his mind.

_A sudden freefall strong enough to make his stomach lurch...Queuing at the check in desk with his family...boarding the plane..._

There was no rhyme or reason to the short clips that ran rampant in his unconscious mind but things slowly started to come together, piece by piece like a jigsaw.

"_Timothy, don't you look handsome." _His mother's voice? Why is he remembering his mother's voice? Even deep down his was deceiving him...

The bitty pieces that his memories were stirring up seemed to amalgamate into one and a memory burst forth out of the blue...

"_Timothy don't you look handsome?" He turned to see his mother standing in the doorway wearing a pale pink linen trouser suit. She was so pretty and he couldn't help but smile._

"_Thanks, Mom. You look beautiful too." He leaned down to kiss her cheek softly. "Why did we have to come again?"_

"_We've had this discussion a dozen times young man." Angela chastised warmly. "Your father served under the groom's father for year and owes the Admiral his life. Without his quick thinking your father wouldn't be here honey, so when we get an invite to attend his son's wedding, we come."_

"_And they've been friends for years." He answered and offered his mother a small smile._

"_You know it baby. They've been down to see us a few times and I know you remember the family."_

"_I remember them Mom." He couldn't keep the sadness out of his voice at the thought of the Admiral's eldest son getting married. The young Lieutenant was the same age as Tim, but had been with his fiancé for years; happily living out his life. Tim watched his mother move to the bed and sit down._

"_Talk to me honey. I can't help if you don't tell me what's bothering you. This is more than you just not wanting to be here, isn't it? We appreciate you rising to the occasion and being here as part of the family. You've always been such a respectful son that way, always being there for us when we need you."_

_He moved to sit with his mother and grasped at her hand. "Are you and Dad disappointed with me?"_

"_What? No! Why would you think that?"_

"_Because...I dunno, because Grandad was an Admiral in the navy, and Dad's followed his footsteps. Me? I'm just an NCIS agent. I broke that chain and let's face it I don't exactly do well with women. I mean, Adam's the same age as me, right?"_

_Angela nodded. "Yes he is."_

"_And he's already doing well in his career and is getting married. He'll have kids in the next couple of years and what have I got? A job at NCIS and an apartment. It's not exactly exciting."_

"_You just have bad luck with the ladies, honey. You'll find someone who will love you for the beautiful man you are." She raised her hand and issued what had affectionately been called a Gibbs slap by her son on numerous occasions. Tim blanched and rubbed at the spot his mother had just tapped. "And you know that's not everything you've got, Timothy McGee. We raised you better than to put yourself down like that."_

"Yeah?_Do tell." Tim replied bitterly but squeezed his Mom's hand to let her know it wasn't her he was pissed at. Angela sighed heavily and scooted round so that one leg rested on the mattress and she was facing her son._

"_You're a very talented author and a beautiful, intelligent, kind, generous, caring, strong young man. I happen to know that you're doing well in your career and no, you didn't follow in your father's and grandfather's footsteps but don't ever think we're less proud of you or love you less for that. If you don't believe me, speak to your father. He'll knock it into that stubborn head of yours."_

_He reached out and wrapped his arms around the woman that meant everything to him. "Thank you, Mom."_

"_For what?" Angela pulled back and traced the soft lines of her son's face. _

"_For loving me no matter what and supporting me. I know I said I didn't want to come here but I'd do it for you and Dad. I'm kinda glad I did now."_

"_And, we get a few days to spend in the sunny Californian sunshine as a family. It couldn't get any more perfect. How about we go and get this over and done with so we can spend some time together?" She stood up and smoothed down her Jacket. "You should see your father. He looks so handsome in his uniform."_

"_Mom! Do **not** take that thought any further. I know you have a thing for his uniform and that's a conversation I don't want to be having." Tim warned as Angela moved to straighten his tie. _

"_Don't worry Honey. That's very much private."_

"_Okay. Good…that's good. Please tell me this room isn't next to yours?"_

_They walked out of the hotel room laughing._

"Mom!" Tim woke with a start and groaned as the pain from his injuries assaulted him. His head was pounding in time with his heart. He felt a sturdy hand rest on his chest and fought desperately to fight for breath as his chest constricted.

"Tim...hey! Calm down. It's alright you're safe. It's just a dream."A quiet, calm voice reached him.

"B..Boss."

"I'm here, Tim." Gibb soothed quietly. "Shhh, it's alright now. Nightmare?"

Tim shook his head and groaned. "N... family. Mom..."

Gibbs swallowed down the lump in his throat and reached over for the oxygen mask. Tim's breaths were coming in short gasps and it was obvious that his agent was starting to remember something.

"What is it, Tim? What are you remembering?"

"I do...don't know. Wedding for...Dad's old CO..."

"Okay." Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief and carded his fingers through Tim's short hair. "That's a step in the right direction. At least it was a good one this time round. What's gotten you so upset?"

Tim let out a strangled laugh and shook his head. "Silly."

"Not if it's upsetting you. Talk to me."

"Feel like...Something's missing. Something's not there any...anymore." Tim's admission made Gibbs' heart sink and he knew that Tim was slowly starting to piece things together from the crash. Not directly, but once that feeling set in, it wouldn't be long before the kid put two and two together.

"It's just your memories coming back. You think you could sleep some more? You need it." The gentle encouragement and low, soothing voice helped lulled Tim's mind to a calm place.

Tim's nodded his head and closed his eyes as his body finally gave in to the ever present exhaustion and pain that haunted him recently.

***NCIS***

"This isn't right you know." Tony said into the silence that had befallen him and the Director as soon as they had left the group. "I mean, Probie doesn't deserve this. He's a good man and doesn't deserve half the crap that is thrown at him. But this...this is just too much."

"Tony. He'll get over the things that his mind is throwing out. If anything, you can use it as a tool to help atone for the things you have done in the past that are obviously still bothering him on some level. The problem is, the way he's treated is so normal to him when he's lucid, that changing dramatically might make him feel worse than he does."

Tony cocked his head back slightly and frowned with confusion. "I'm not going to fool around with him while he's like this. I'm not that mean!"

Vance sighed and wrapped his hand around the warm coffee mug. "I'm not saying you should carry on joking around the way you do now, certainly, you need to tone it down, but eventually you'll get back to that relationship and he'll appreciate it because that's the norm. That's just what you do. Am I right in thinking Agent McGee gives as good as he gets now?"

The senior agent thought back and shrugged. "I guess. Sometimes and he's helped me out of a few holes as well but I'm worried because he's scared of me. He took one look in my direction and panicked because of everything I've done to him in the past. He's like my kid brother and it's all harmless but it's made me think that I need to stop acting the ass and treat him with a bit more respect than I have done over the years."

"If that's how you feel, then you should do it. Be there for him and treat him like the little brother you claim he is. There is nothing wrong with showing your little brother some respect and it doesn't have to change your relationship in any drastic way. He's going to need that support right now and we're all he's got..." Vance was cut off by his phone ringing. "Sorry Tony...Hello, Director Vance."

"_Director Vance, it'sJimmy Palmer. I found something on Sarah McGee's body that I need to talk to you about. I realised that it was stuck on record so I rewound it and listened but..."_

"Mr. Palmer. Why don't you slow down and tell me what you found." Tony glanced at the director and frowned at the side of the conversation he could hear.

"_Well, due to Mr. McGee's autopsy needing to be done, the McGee's haven't been transported just yet. Dr. Hampton is on her way in to help with that. Anyway, I was at a loss, so decided to move the bags that were due to go with the bod...with..."_

"it's okay Jimmy. Take your time." Vance said in a calming voice. "What happened?"

"Sarah's_ bag wasn't sealed properly and a digital Dictaphone fell out. When I picked it up, I noticed it was stuck on record so I put some new batteries in it and played it back. It was horrible. Just horrible."_

The director noticed the hitch to Jimmy's voice and knew that whatever he had heard, was probably even worse than what the young man was able to express. He sighed and sat back in the hard, plastic seat. "What was on it?"

"_Sarah...she must have used it for college, but she had hit record and I heard Mr. McGee trying to talk down another passenger who was in a state of panic. Sarah and Mrs. McGee were in the background telling him to be careful, but...but he was stabbed. It's all on the there."_

"Was there a reason for the panic?" Vance already knew the answer, but needed to know if it was a case of terrorism gone wrong or simply a reaction to the impending crash.

"_The plane had been lurching a lot from what I can make out, had already free fallen once but levelled out. He was scared because of the terrible storm and all the lightening they were flying into and he just lashed out. I can only imagine he thought he would be able to get the pilot to fly the plane safely above the storm, or at least his irrational mind would have thought that."_

"So it wasn't terrorism, but a fault with the plan and terrified passengers. What happened next?"

Vance heard Jimmy sigh at the other end. "_It's confused but I heard some shouting before Mrs. McGee shouted 'Oh my God, Jacob!'. Beyond that, it's jumbled but you can make out the plane going down. The batteries must have ran out before the plane hit. It's a miracle that it survived at all."_

"Yes it is. It's just a shame that the McGee family and other passengers didn't. Thank you, Mr. Palmer. Follow the usual chain of evidence handling for the Dictaphone and then go home and get some rest. Lord knows you've earned it."

Jimmy said his goodbyes, leaving Vance sitting there with his closed cell phone in hand, frozen at what he'd been told as he tried to process the new information.

"Everything okay?" Tony asked quietly.

"No. But the good news is that it wasn't' terrorism."

"So, McGee's dad..."

"Was trying to calm a panicked man down. By all rights, he was a hero because he stopped anyone else getting hurt by an extremely agitated, terrified passenger."

"Try telling that to Tim, Director." Tony spat out knowing that the little tidbit of information he had, wouldn't help ease Tim's pain of loss. "He's the sole survivor of an entire flight of over 100 people and has lost everything. I'm not sure that it's going to help any. The Survivor's Guilt alone will be almost impossible for him to handle but the added horror and loss of his entire family dying in that crash? That's gonna just about do him in."

Vance shook his head and leaned forward to lay his hand on Tony's arm. "It may not help a lot, but right now it's all we've got and it might help soften the blow a little when Tim does find out."

Tony nodded his head and sipped at his coffee to give his mind time to process what he'd just been told. He knew what he had to do, what he wasn't sure of was whether or not, it was going to be enough.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N – Owing to the new episode, we are borrowing one of the newer characters that has been introduced. We know and understand that it will go outside of how the team met her, but for the sake of this story, we believe it fits well. Also, there was no surname mentioned, so we're going to go with the obvious. So, Smartkid and Shelbylou productions are proud to announce the arrival of..._

_Penelope Mcgee._

* * *

Elsie was a kindly nurse, but the last few days left her feeling exhausted both mentally, and physically. It was apparent that part of her job now meant fielding calls from distraught family members of the poor souls lost in the plane crash, but it got to her. She sighed when the phone rang again and grabbed the manifest that had been handed to her a couple of days ago.

"Good morning, St. Anthony's Summit Medical Centre...No sir, I'm sorry but we don't have a patient here of that name. What was he...Oh, you might want to try Delta County because that's closer to where...yes sir, would you like the number?...okay, you are very welcome. Good luck sir." She put the phone down with a sigh of relief knowing that it wasn't another grieving family member on the other line, simply a relative trying to find out where his nephew had been taken after a non serious fall. She put the manifest back down on the desk before looking up to see a worried looking woman gazing at her. "Oh, I'm sorry. My names Elsie. How may I help?"

"I...I'm...Oh dear. Elsie my name is Penelope McGee. My family were...they..."

"Sorry, but did you say McGee?" Elsie pulled up her patients file on the computer and smiled warmly. "May I call you, Penelope?"

Penny's eyes widened slightly and she nodded. "Of course. I know that...I...I've been all over. I've been to all the hospitals in the area and this is my last hope. I need to...I..."

"Your family were in the crash." Elsie supplied softly and stood up. "Alex, can you man the desk for half hour. I'm going to take Ms. Mcgee to get some coffee. "

"Sure thing sugar. It's nice to meet you Ms. McGee."

"Mrs. I know I should use Ms. But in my mind I'm still married even though my husband passed away a few years ago. He was a wily old bastard, but I loved him and my grandson always..." Penelope stopped mid sentence and wiped at her eyes. "He always said his grand daddy kept me in line."

"My husband says he's the grounding factor in our marriage too. It's so easy to get them riled, but it's always good fun. How about we take a walk and we get you warmed up with some coffee." Elsie grabbed the manifest and flicked to the page where she had highlighted the Mcgees. She told herself at the time, it was because one of them had survived and should he remember, then it would be easy for someone else to find the names in the document. Penelope nodded and followed the nurse to the canteen in silence as she tried to make sense of what was happening.

***NCIS***

"No!" Tim woke with a start and looked around the room in panic. There were snippets of things coming through, that left him wondering whether the people he dreamed about had two personalities or whether they had evil twins out there somewhere trying to get him. He had worked out that he worked with these people..._Does __everyone __I __work __with __have __two __personalities? _he wondered as he tried to fit names to the faces that caused him so much pain, and yet now, they were confusing the hell out of him because they flittered between being horrible and treating him well. The constant in his dreams never left him, and of course, that helped, but Kate wasn't really there and the more lucid he became, the more he realised that she was just a manifestation of his troubled mind.

"Easy, Tim. Breathe easy. Attaboy." Tim turned to look at his boss and nodded his head slightly.

"B...boss?"

"Yeah, Tim." Gibbs perched on the side of the bed and grasped at Tim's hand. Since his youngest agent had lost his family, an ongoing surge of fatherly protectiveness overwhelmed him and he wanted nothing more than to make his 'boy' better and get through the rough seas that were ahead.

"Does...does everyone I work with have two personalities?"

Gibbs frowned at the question and narrowed his eyes with confusion. "I don't get ya."

"Th...that man...th...TONY! that's his name...and Ab...Ab..."

"Abby?"

Tim nodded. "They...in my mind th...they are all jumbled. One minute they're nice and the ne...next they're..." he trailed off with a heavy sigh and closed his eyes.

"They're treatin' you like crap." Gibbs huffed a laugh and squeezed Tim's hand gently. "You usually give as good as you get here lately. To Tony anyway. Abby? Hell she's gotten away with more than I know about but if I catch her doin' it again, I'll make sure she doesn't get away with it."

"Evil twins." Tim murmured feeling the weight of exhaustion pressing down on him. "I think they'..."

Gibbs chuckled as his agent's breathing evened out and he knew he was out once more. Trust Tim's mine to get there eventually, but in the process piecing together two parts of a puzzle that didn't actually fit together at all. "You're tryin' to fit a square peg in a round hole, McGee, but it's a start."

He sat there for a while longer holding Tim's hand and let his mind wander back to some of the situations that had gotten them where they were now. Sure, the team had their ups and their downs, but all in all they stuck together and now that Tim was alone in the world without a family to back him up, Gibbs vowed to be there for his kid, no matter what.

***NCIS***

"There you go. One latte with an extra shot of the rocket fuel they call espresso round these parts." Elsie sat down and placed the large mug of coffee in front of the distraught woman. "We would complain, but it's the only thing that keeps us going on the long shifts and truth be told, some of the doctors round these parts had their blood substituted for it a long time ago."

Penny offered a sad smile and sipped at her drink. "Perfect. Just the way I like it."

"Another convert to our coffee. The establishment will be very happy." Elsie sighed heavily and wrapped her slender fingers round her own mug. "Penelope..."

"Please. Call me Penny. Everyone else does even my grandba...my grandbabies, God rest their souls." The older woman broke down in tears at the thought of losing the most precious things she had left in her life. "I loved my son and daughter in law, but Timothy and Sarah meant the world to me. I was always unconventional and I could embarrass them with the stories of when they were little but still, they were my grandchildren and I couldn't be prouder of what they are...were."

"Penny, please. I have something to tell you and I know it's hard losing the ones you love, but you need to know that Tim survived the crash. He's here in the hospital being treated."

Penny's eyes grew wide with shock as she chocked back a sob. "How? What about Jacob, Angela and Sarah? Please...how? are you sure?"

Elsie noticed the way that Penny was clutching her hands over her heart and had a fleeting thought that the shock was too much for the older woman. It was only after her instincts as a nurse waned slightly that she realised it was an emotional response rather than a heart attack. "It all fits. Apparently the young man we have with us was found at the crash site huddled under some blankets that were left for him. It's a miracle but from what we can ascertain, he was in the bathroom at the time and that pretty much saved his life. He's sick and injured, but very very lucky despite battling with his memories at the moment."

"His mem...he doesn't know?" Penny knew by the look of sadness that crossed this wonderful nurses face at the mention of the remainder of her family, that they hadn't survived. "Oh dear Lord. My poor boy."

"His team have been around him, though he has shunned all but Dr. Mallard and Agent Gibbs. Miss Sciuto and Agent DiNozzo seemed to be the ones that caused him distress but they managed to stay away for the time being."

Tim's grandmother took in the information and pushed past her grief to focus on the one remaining member of her family. "And his injuries? Elsie, tell me, how is my grandson?"

Elsie sighed heavily and reached over to grasp Penny's hand. "Surprisingly lucky. The worst injury suffered was a hairline fracture to his skull. Don't get me wrong, the others were bad enough. He has severe bruising to his chest and abdomen. Penny, please he's very lucky and will pull through but right now his head injury is causing a great deal of confusion. By the grace of God, he survived, but his battle isn't over because injuries heal, but the emotional trauma will be the biggest obstacle of all."

"I know." Penny sighed sadly and gazed at her cooling coffee. "You know, his father was a hard man. Don't get me wrong, Jacob loved his kids so much, but he was military and that called for a certain standard. Angela was the grounding force in that marriage and managed to pull Jake back and gave the children an upbringing to be proud of rather than the military brats that Jake would have turned them into. Timothy was the man of the house when his father was away, and he took that role seriously but never once complained. His sister looked up to him and his mother...Oh Angela loved those two so much. She was the kind of woman, that you looked at and knew that without her family she was a lost soul."

"She sounds wonderful."

"They all were. Don't get me wrong, Jake doesn't come across well but he was a wonderful father. He supplied for his family and brought them up well. Now my grandson is alone in the world with only a crazy old woman as family."

With a squeeze of the trembling hand on the desk, Elsie shook her head. "You're not crazy, Penny. You love him and that alone will mean so much. I don't know what Tim has told you about his team, but they all act like his family and it's so clear, that they won't ever give up on him."

"Thank you." The heartfelt, quiet gratitude was short, succinct and so genuine that the kindly nurse felt her heart strings pull. "Elsie, please could you take me to my grandson. I need to be with him."

"Of course." Elsie stood up and held out her hand. "I'll take you to him."

Together they left the canteen without another spoken word.

***NCIS***

"Boss." Gibbs looked up from the newspaper that he was reading and smiled warmly at Tim.

"How're you doing, Tim. You want some water?"

"N...no. Um...I..."

Gibbs frowned and put the paper aside so he could go and perch back on the edge of the bed. "What is it, son."

"You...you never...why?" Tim looked at the man that had been there every time he woke up, with fear. "Nev...never there. Alwa...always took their side. Why?"

"Aww McGee. You really believe that?" Gibbs shook his head knowing that his agent was confused right now and the way his mind was throwing the bad times out there, it was only a matter of time before the team leader was thrown in the mix. "I took the side I thought was right. I admit, with Abby I'm a blind old fool, but I never thought bad of ya. I'm sorry if you feel that way."

"Don't apol...apologise. Si...sign of weakness"

Gibbs grinned but shook his head once again. "Not this time, McGee. I'm here for you and that's not gonna change. If saying I'm sorry helps, then that's what I'll do."

Tim was going to say something when the door opened and he was distracted by the woman that walked in. He grasped blindly for Gibbs' hand and held on tight when the team leader wrapped his fingers around Tim's.

"Tim? Oh Tim, I've been so worried." The woman walked up to the bed and scrutinized Tim. "How are you feeling sweetheart?"

"I'm...I..."

"Tim, do you know this woman?" Gibbs asked gently but kept his eye firmly on the new arrival.

"Of course he do..." Penny was cut off by a patented glare.

"McGee?" Gibbs pushed. "Do you know her?"

Tim nodded once and let out a low, strangled sob. "Yea..yeah, Boss. She's my gran...grandmother."

With a confused frown, Gibbs glanced towards his man and saw the recognition and relief of knowing who the stranger was. It was strange, but even Gibbs felt that wave of sheer relief at knowing that even though his boy had his NCIS family, he wouldn't be totally orphaned after all.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: We humbly apologise to our faithful readers and reviewers for the very long wait on this._

_The holidays and life's little roadblocks have made it very difficult to get back to this._

_Thank you to all who have watched out for this update_

_We hope you enjoy this chapter. _

Leroy Jethro Gibbs wasn't a man who took being dismissed from anyone very well at all. Least of all someone he didn't know anymore than they knew him. Needless to say, when the woman's next words were an attempt at such a dismissal, she got a very surprising response.

"We need to talk."

"Excuse me?" She asked with an affronted disbelief. "I don't need to…"

"Outside. Now." Gibbs growled at her and pointed towards the door. "Won't take long."

"Boss?" Tim worried as his eyes grew large with fear and uncertainty at the scene in front of him.

Although he'd just woken up from what seemed like a lifetime of sleeping, his mind was still trying to catch up with the world around him. He still hadn't been able to figure out how he'd immediately known to trust this man when everyone else who'd come to visit him had left him feeling wary and uncomfortable with the exception of maybe the older Scottish man. _God, he wished his brain would straighten up and work right_! _Why would the boss be upset with his grandmother, though?_

Gibbs' demeanor changed back into the calm, reassuring boss he'd been just a moment ago and as he turned back to his agent, he gave him a small, comforting smile. "I'll be right outside if you need me, Tim. Your grandmother will be right back after we talk for a minute, alright?"

Tim nodded, but only the fear seemed to ease from his expression leaving the uncertainty in its wake. Gibbs saw that reflected in the pale green eyes and sighed. "Relax, Tim. I promise. Everything's okay." Gibbs stood firm, waiting for the young man to accept what he was being told as the truth; one he could relax and feel safe in.

After a long minute of Tim simply looking at the boss, the ailing agent finally spoke with a timid and shaky voice. "Okay. I'm sure you're happy you don't have to stay with me anymore, anyway. You should go home and get some sleep. I don't think you've left in days."

Feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut at the defeated words, Gibbs repeated his promise deliberately, purposely ignoring the part of Tim's statement that reflected on himself – for now. "You and your grandmother need time to talk and the only time that's gonna happen is if she visits while you're awake. She'll be back in just a minute."

Tim nodded and closed his eyes and after a moment, Gibbs followed a sadly quiet Penny McGee out into the hallway and far enough away from Tim's door that they couldn't be overheard. Gibbs stopped short of the window that peered into Tim's room so he could keep an eye on him turned to watch as his younger agents haunted eyes opened and gazed at the far wall.

"Agent Gibbs, I understand that you are Timothy's boss and that he respects you but as you can clearly see he's…"

"Unaware of any details of the crash or the death of his family members." Gibbs interjected before she could go any further.

"I'm aware of that, Agent Gibbs. That sweet nurse Elsie already told me all about Timothy's condition and his difficulties with his memory. Why is it you felt the need to haul me out here and treat me like a criminal in one of your investigations? That sweet boy is all I have now."

"I know and you're all he has of his biological family. He's got us and we'll do what we can to help but I need you to keep this under your hat for a while. We want his own memories to kick in first unless his specifically asks." Gibbs turned away from the window and faced Penny. "Which he hasn't."

"I see. Tell me, what harm would there be in feeding him the details his mind hasn't recalled yet?"

Gibbs eyes narrowed slightly and he was about to answer when he saw Ducky and Leon Vance approaching.

"Jethro? Is everything alright?" Ducky asked as they walked up to the Team Leader and the woman that he was talking to.

"Everything's fine, Duck. Director. This is Tim's Grandmother."

Penny held out her hand. "Hello. I'm Penny McGee, Timothy's father was my only child."

"Dr. Donald Mallard. I am so very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." Penny said sadly. "You know, Sarah and Timothy meant everything to me. I loved my son and his wife dearly, but those two…they were the apples of my eye. Tim still is." She turned and looked at her grandson laying there looking beaten down and depressed.

"I can see why."

Penny turned to the only man that hadn't been introduced to her formally and frowned.

"I'm sorry. NCIS Director, Leon Vance. Nice to meet you." Vance offered. Gibbs wondered how his boss managed to keep his game face on despite his shock at this unexpected turn of events. "I apologize, Mrs. McGee. I was unaware Agent McGee had any surviving relatives. My sympathies for your losses."

"Thank you, Director. I'm afraid the fact that you were unaware Timothy had a grandmother is my doing. I have always valued being invisible where my grandchildren are concerned. I refused to be one of those grandparents who tried to control my grandchildrens' lives. That's the one thing I always came to blows with, with my son. He said I was too much of a free spirit."

"Well, I imagine it was most certainly a wonderful surprise for Timothy. Did our young man recognize you?" Ducky inquired with concern.

"Yes, after a moment of confusion, he did. Ducky, do you mind if I call you Ducky?"

The M.E. smiled. "Not at all."

"Timothy is always going on and on about how much he admires you. I almost feel as if I know you, He talks about you and the rest of the team he works with so much. You're the Medical Examiner for NCIS, correct?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"I was just explaining to her why we haven't told Tim anything that he hasn't remembered on his own yet." Gibbs interrupted, aware of the fact that he'd told Tim they wouldn't be long.

"Ah, yes. I do hope you agree with that approach to Timothy's recovery?" Ducky was quick to jump on the bandwagon in support of the Team Leader's decision.

"I'm confused – I'll admit." Penny answered as she kept her eyes on the M.E.

Gibbs sighed and felt the need for a good caffeine boost kick in, knowing the M.E. would be better suited to having this conversation with Tim's grandmother than he ever could be. "Duck, I'm going for coffee. Keep your ear out, will ya? McGee already knows she's going back in to visit with him without me."

"You are certainly in need of a break, Jethro. Mrs. McGee and I will look after Timothy for the remainder of the afternoon. Why don't you go catch up on your sleep?"

"Sounds good to me. I'll be back later, Duck. Mrs. McGee." Gibbs turned on his heel and started off down the hallway, desperate for coffee and a good four hours of genuine comfortable sleep.

"Keep me advised as to updates, Dr. Mallard." Vance instructed as he, too headed out.

"Now, then, my dear, are you ready to spend some time reminiscing with your grandson? His mind could certainly use some good memories to fall back on, after all the confusion it's been experiencing since the crash. With the head trauma and the other injuries, not to mention being lost and wandering around up on that mountain for two days, he needs the comfort and relief from the stress just as much as he needs all the rest his body will allow him to take in." Ducky advised. "Though again, please don't mention the crash. We want him to remember that by himself. I can't see a few nice stories doing any harm."

"Don't worry. I plan on staying right here by his side, helping him back on his feet." Penny vowed.

"Wonderful. I'm very relieved to know that Timothy still has family. I do hope you will allow his NCIS family to continue to be there for him as well. He means a great deal to us all."

Penny remained silently thoughtful as the two of them looked in on Tim from the window. Noting that he'd fallen back asleep with no problem, she turned her attention back to the conversation at hand.

"Relax, Dr. Mallard, I have no intention of preventing anyone who cares about my grandson from helping him. After all, I understand that they are the very same people who searched tirelessly for him and did not stop until they found him and brought him safely down off that mountain." She replied. "However, I do feel concerned about the ones I've heard Timothy has already expressed worry and fear about?" He question begged for answers and reassurance that all was really well with her grandson.

"You know about that?" Ducky questioned, surprised that she knew what was going on. "May I ask how?"

"I have my ways."

"Well then, how about we sit here and I'll paint you the true picture of what your grandson's relationship with his team? Ducky suggested as he led her to the chair outside Tim's room where they both could get more comfortable. "You see…"

*****NCIS*****

As Gibbs and Vance returned to the waiting room together, the remainder of the team looked up with concern. They were all surprised to see Gibbs walk in and sit down among them.

"Boss?" Tony questioned. "Thought you'd be staying with Probie all day."

"McGee's grandmother's with him."

"His grandmother?" three voices asked in unison.

"Turns out he's not quite alone like we thought." The Team Leader spent another five minutes filing them in on everything that happened before rubbing his eyes tiredly. "That's all I know. I'm goin' for coffee."

As Gibbs headed out, Tony loped after him, needing the chance to stretch his legs and see what was really going on in his mentor's mind. "How come we never knew he had a grandmother?"

"Same reason we don't find out a lot of things about each other, DiNozzo."

"I get the need for privacy, Boss, but I'm talking about in his next of kin information in his personnel file."

"Dunno. I'm just glad he's got someone."

"Me too. Wait, she's not tryin' to keep us from seeing him, is she?" Tony's hackles rose at the thought of some stranger keeping them away from his probie.

"Did I say she was?" Gibbs stopped dead and turned to glare at his Senior Field Agent. Tony cocked his head slightly and took in the Boss' stiff, angry stance.

"No, but something's got you ticked off."

"Nope."

"C'mon, Boss! I know you enough to know when you're not happy about a situation." Tony pleaded. "If this is gonna affect the team then we need to know!"

"McGee's perception of us doesn't leave much room to be happy right now, DiNozzo. outside of the fact that he's alive and not hurt worse than he is. He's still got his grief to deal with on top of that. You expect me to happy with everything he's still got to go through?"

"Us. As in me, Abby and now you?" The younger man asked for clarification.

Gibbs silence was all the confirmation Tony needed.

"What'd he say, Boss? I mean besides somehow admitting he remembers the crappy times."

"Thinks I don't really wanna be here for him. Asked me why I always took yours and Abby's side." Gibbs admitted gruffly, too thrown for a loop to maintain his normal silence in the face of such probing questions. Besides, Tony deserved to know where Tim's head was at, just as much as he did.

"Fair question, Boss." Tony advised him quietly. "I never noticed you standing up for him when we overstepped. Kinda why I kept doin' it. Pretty sure it was the same for Abby."

"Huh." Gibbs grunted in reluctant admission. If Tony had seen it, Ducky's words from earlier had more truth to them than the Team Leader had allowed himself to accept. Before he could think any more on it, his Senior Field Agent seemed to have the solution in mind.

"Guess we're just gonna have to figure out how to remind him of the good times and the team unity we managed to forge in spite of all that." Tony reasoned out. Calmly. "I'm sure we can think of something."

"Sure hope so, DiNozzo." Gibbs remarked as they got their coffees and silently trudged back to the waiting room. Shaking his head, he recalled the almost funny question Tim had posed to him earlier, unable to stop himself from smiling as he did.

_"Does...does everyone I work with have two personalities? my mind th...they are all jumbled. One minute they're nice and the ne...next they're... Evil twins"_

"What's so funny, Boss?"

As Gibbs repeated Tim's words from earlier in answer to the question, Tony smiled. That was the best news he'd heard since they'd found his probie. That meant Tim was remembering some good moments as well as the bad. There was hope after all!

*****NCIS*****

Abby, Ziva and Jimmy were pouring over what appeared to be a photo album when they returned and passed out fresh hot chocolates and a coffee for Vance.

"That's perfect!" Tony realized out loud. "He should be able to remember better with pictures than he would with us trying to go down memory lane with him."

"Not gonna happen any time soon, DiNozzo. His grandmother needs to be with him right now. She's all the family he's got left." Gibbs advised.

"He's still got us." Abby plaintively reminded him.

"If he can remember that we're not all out to get him." Tony replied and sat down next to the Goth. "Abbs, look at how he thinks of us right now."

"Director? Jethro, might I have a word with you?" Ducky asked from the doorway unexpectedly.

The fact that no one had noticed his arrival spoke volumes of where their heads were at – all worried about Tim's emotional rollercoaster ride where his teammates were concerned.

Gibbs and Vance met Ducky at the door and together they walked away from the waiting room.

"What's wrong?" The Team Leader immediately asked.

"I'm afraid, Timothy's grandmother is adamant that he be allowed to return home as soon as possible." Ducky shared ruefully.

"No different than what we were plannin' on doing, Duck." Gibbs reminded him.

"She wants him back home in Washington State. Today if at all possible, Jethro."

"Surely she can't think that's possible?" Vance asked in disbelief.

"Ducky, his family's back in D.C. They still need to be buried, for cryin' out loud!"

"Director, she's willing to wait only as long as necessary. She wishes for their bodies to be flown to Washington State as well. Timothy is her only remaining relative and she wants him close by."

"She wants to isolate him from the team." Gibbs reasoned out angrily.

"She has assured me, Jethro, that she has no desire to keep those who care for Timothy, away from him." Ducky vowed.

"But?" Vance asked since he knew there was one.

"I'm afraid she has also expressed deep concern for the distress Timothy has exhibited in regard to Anthony and Abigail."

"Of course she has." Gibbs groused. "How the hell did she find out about that?"

"The nurses have been most informative in their duties to update her on her grandson's condition, I'm afraid." Ducky said sadly. "Given the fact that she's his last remaining relative, they are obliged to talk to her."

"How is McGee?" Vance asked.

"He is asleep with his grandmother watching over him like a hawk. They have not had time to talk about anything. It would seem that your calming words allowed him to fall asleep quite peacefully, Jethro."

Gibbs shook his head, a small smile at Ducky's optimism playing on his face.

"Did you talk to his doctor about Mrs. McGee's wishes?" Vance wanted to know.

"Yes, I have, Director. Timothy's doctor has suggested that she not attempt to let him fly home on a standard flight. He would prefer that Timothy's trip home be one made in much more comfort and one that will allow our young man to feel safe. No one knows how he will react to being aboard an aircraft again. We cannot assume the experience of being in the crash has left him without emotional scarring."

"Can't he be sedated for the trip?" Gibbs asked while Vance got his cell phone out and stepped away to make a call.

"Certainly. As a matter of fact, I recommend it. But it will have to be done with Timothy's consent. However, even if we have that, his doctor hopes we can persuade Mrs. McGee to be patient and wait at least until Timothy is more able to stand on his own two feet and certainly until he is able to stay awake longer than thirty minutes at a time."

"Your wit and charm haven't worked their usual magic, Duck?" Gibbs half-joked.

Ducky's answering small smile was a welcome sight. "I wish I had been able to persuade her, but, it would seem she is most stubbornly set in her decision."

"Maybe I can help with that." Vance stated as he hung up his phone. "If she can wait until tomorrow – we've got the private jet on loan from the FBI, compliments of your good friend, Fornell. I'll go talk to her."

"Don't think she likes me very much right now. I'll be out here. Let me know what you come up with, will ya?" Gibbs responded quietly, all thoughts of going back to to the hotel room to catch up on sleep, disappearing with his good mood at this unfortunate turn of events.

Vance nodded as he and Ducky headed back down the hall towards Tim's room, while Gibbs returned to the waiting room and took up a seat in the corner, taking a moment to find some semblance of rest.

Watching the boss seek the chance to rest, the others retreated quietly, even though they were anxious to know what was going on. In unspoken consensus, they retreated to the part of the waiting room that was the farthest from Gibbs to give the man the peace and quiet he was obviously in need of. Looking fondly back over the photos, they set in to wait out whatever developments had just taken place. Somehow, they knew they could trust in the three senior members of the NCIS family to take care of whatever the problem was.

It seemed like forever but in reality, was only thirty minutes, Director Vance and Ducky were walking back to the waiting room, neutral expressions on their faces. With his seventh sense kicking in, Gibbs was not only awake but on his feet and waiting in front of the pack for whatever they had to say, not even caring which one would be the one to speak. With a glance shared between them, Ducky and Leon seemed to speak silently to each other before the Director spoke up at last.

"Go pack up. We're heading home in the morning."

*****NCIS*****

Rather than waste any time packing belongings she hadn't bothered to bring, Ziva remained at the hospital while the rest of the team returned to the hotel room and packed and spent some time resting. With Tim's grandmother and Ducky sitting with him, the others felt unneeded and in need of sleep, hence the choice to make good on the time they now had to do so.

With the photo album tucked under her arm, she headed towards Tim's room. He hadn't displayed any fear or very much nervousness towards her personally, that one brief moment she'd managed to see him and speak to him. Hopefully, he would allow her to sit and talk with him, with no demands or expectations, at least for a little while. All she had to do was get past his new guard dog in the form of his grandmother they'd known nothing about until now. Would she fight to keep the team away from her grandson? Ducky had assured them that she had promised not do so. Ziva was more than ready to put her to the test.

Knocking quietly on Tim's door, more to announce her presence to Tim's grandmother than to Tim himself, who appeared to be sleeping. She was surprised to find Mrs. McGee motion for her to enter, a smile on her face.

"Hello, dear. You must be Ziva. Timothy has told me so much about you. He cares a great deal for you, you know. He'll be very happy to see you when he wakes up." She spoke quietly so as to not wake the patient prematurely.

"I am afraid, I cannot say the same." Ziva admitted.

"Oh, don't worry, my dear. I'm well aware that my Timothy is very bottled up when it comes to talking about his family. He's always been protective of us in that way." Mrs. McGee reassured her calmly. "Am I correct in thinking you're here with a photo album in hopes that you'll be able to help my Timothy remember some events that took place while he's been on Team Gibbs?"

"Yes. However, I do not plan on offering any information, merely photos for him to try to recall."

"Ah, I see. So, you, too, believe that we shouldn't be telling him anything he can't remember for himself."

"Mrs. McGee. If he should ask us something directly, we will not lie to him. But, neither will we willingly color his memories or his perception of them." Ziva defended the team's position on the matter.

"Zee…vah?" Tim's hesitant and gruff voice from across the room, startled both women into silence as they both turned to look at him and approached his bed with purpose, more than happy to have him awake.

"Did you have a good nap, Timothy?" Mrs. McGee greeted him with a kiss on his cheek as she raised his bed up by the lever on the side of the bedframe.

"I feel rested, if that's what you mean, Penny." Tim replied, his eyes lighting up with joy as they exchanged glances and affectionate hugs. "Did you go get something to eat like you promised? You didn't, did you?"

"Now, Timothy, I couldn't very well leave you here alone." Mrs. McGee defended her decision. "You're still a bit disoriented at times and definitely vulnerable."

"Penny, you know my boss is here for me. Ziva too. Even the older Scottsman is here for me, despite me not being able to remember his name or him." Tim told her with a bit of sternness. "I'm sure, Ziva won't mind sitting with me while you go get something to eat."

Swallowing her words of shock at the news that Tim didn't yet remember Ducky, Ziva was quick to agree with Tim. "Absolutely, I would love to keep you company, McGee."

"Are you sure, you're alright with her? You've been upset at the thought of the others visiting you until now."

"Ziva's different. I'll be fine." Tim answered calmly as he gazed into Ziva's eyes.

"Well, alright, then. I will leave you two alone to talk while I go grab some breakfast and maybe take a walk to stretch my legs. Ziva, I am trusting my grandson into your care."

"I will watch over him, you do not need to worry." Ziva promised sincerely and smiled at the protectiveness in the older woman's voice.

"Good." Mrs. McGee left without looking back, leaving an awkward moment of silence in her wake.

"McGee. How are you feeling?" Ziva asked tentatively.

"Still have a hell of a headache and I feel like I've been wrestling again like I did in high school."

"You remember things from back when you were in high school?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah. I remember most everything from before the crash. But a lot of it just doesn't make sense to me. Why can't I remember that Scottsman? Why do my memories of Abby and Tony leave me thinking they're both suffering from split personalities? I asked the boss that and he thought it was funny. Why would that be funny, Ziva?" Tim turned confused eyes to her, asking for her help in clearing things up.

"Perhaps, Gibbs found a moment of humor in something that we have all been asking ourselves for a long time, but you have been the first to speak it aloud?" Ziva proposed. "As for why you cannot remember Ducky, I do not know. But, I do know that he is not upset with you about it so you need not concern yourself about that. "

Tim nodded. "What's that?" He pointed to the photo album under her arm.

"A photo album from work. Do you think you are ready to see where you have worked for the past 7 years?"

"Actually, that would be really great. Thanks, Ziva."

"Before we open this, I would like to ask you a question." She warned him quietly.

"Sure, what is it?" His instant response brought a smile to her face.

"Since your memories of the team include some of the less than nice things Abby and Tony have done to you over the years, why do you not feel the same fear towards me? I, too have, on occasion, treated you unkindly."

Tim thought about her question for a long silent minute. Finally, unable to find the answer, he looked at her and told her as much. "I don't know. I just know that I feel safe with you here. Comfortable even."

Ziva smiled as the implications of his faith in her ability to protect him, as well as trust in her friendship settled into her heart. "Would you allow me to sit with you so we can view these together?" She asked quietly, leaving his admission alone without tarnishing it with a reply.

Tim smiled and carefully moved himself over in the bed, leaving room for her to join him where they could look over and discuss the photos quietly. "Sure." He answered her with a genuine Tim McGee smile.

Carefully joining him where he sat propped up against his pillows, Ziva looked him in the eye and spoke before opening the photo album. "All of us on this team, care a great deal for you and only want what is best for you. Please remember that. When you work with a group of people for a long time, you become like family, yes?"

"Yeah."

"And families often do and say things to each other that they wish they could take back or do differently, yes?" Ziva said succinctly with raised eyebrows and her head cocked to one side.

Tim nodded silently.

"Tony and Abby do not wish you any harm. None of us do."

"Thanks, Ziva."

"You are welcome, McGee. Now, shall we begin looking back?"

"Let's take a look." Tim replied quietly.

******NCIS******

Three hours later found Gibbs and Ducky back in the hospital waiting room, both waiting for someone to let them know Tim was ready to see them again. Ducky had been shocked when it had become clear that Tim didn't remember him or even his name. But, with shock, came a secondary purpose to keep going. He was needed as a buffer between the recovering man and the team who loved him and wanted him back complete and whole, untouched by the crash and the subsequent injuries he'd sustained; an impossibility he would have to keep them reminded of over the next few weeks, until they'd reconciled themselves to it. The M.E. wasn't even sure that Tim's time spent wandering around up on that mountain, alone, concussed and in shock, wouldn't somehow have a lasting impact on the young man's psyche, as well. Either way, he was willing to wait it out; never one to push when he wasn't needed, requested or remembered.

Seeing Tim's Grandmother sitting in the waiting room, brought both men to a surprising halt.

"Mrs. McGee?" Gibbs questioned. "Something wrong with Tim?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, Agent Gibbs. Timothy's fine. He and Ziva are spending some time talking and looking over the photo album she had with her. He's quite happy at the moment and I didn't want to spoil that by going back into the room after I'd taken some time to eat and stroll."

"Ah, I see. That would appear to be good news." Ducky replied with a smile.

"Yes, I suppose it is." Mrs. McGee replied with less enthusiasm than Ducky had.

"You don't want him to remember." Gibbs surmised in surprise.

"That's not it at all. Please, don't misunderstand me. I would never want Timothy to be suffering from gaps in his memory. I just…" Shaking her head ruefully, she stood to her feet and smiled softly. "Please excuse me, I need to find the ladies room."

Watching Tim's grandmother escape from them without explaining what was going through her mind, left Gibbs frustrated and even a bit angry. "Ducky, what the hell's going on?"

"Jethro, you know very well, that I am not privy to her thoughts. We barely know the woman. However, if it is my opinion you're after, I shall offer it as such. "I wouldn't be surprised if Mrs. McGee is in a hurry to remove her only living grandchild from anything to do with his job; so that she may keep him safe; and alive. I'll venture that if she has anything to say about the direction Timothy takes once he recovers from his injuries; it will NOT be back to us."

Before Gibbs could react, Ziva appeared in the doorway of the waiting room. "Hello Ducky. McGee would like to speak with you." She offered with a smile as she handed the photo album to Gibbs. "I will be in the cafeteria in search for some breakfast. Have you seen Mrs. McGee?"

"Ladies Room." Gibbs offered.

"Ah. I need to speak with her before I go anywhere." Having said that, Ziva took herself to the ladies room while Ducky smiled regretfully at his friend.

"Jethro, I'm certain that Timothy will continue to process things and be able to recall that you are his Team Leader and the one he has always counted on to keep him safe; in short order. I believe he will be speaking with you once more before the day is out."

"Just want him to be okay, Duck. Don't want any old crap getting' in the way of his recovery."

"I agree, my friend. I agree." Ducky headed down the hall to visit the patient; every step full of hope that he'd be remembered by now.

*****NCIS*****

Unwilling to do battle with Tim's grandmother, Gibbs walked to the cafeteria for some fresh coffee and hopefully, the chance to talk to Ziva when she got there. Sure enough, not fifteen minutes later, his former Mossad Liason arrived in the cafeteria and after selecting her breakfast items, joined him at his table.

When he gave her his silent questioning look, she looked pensive for a moment before answering him. "Mrs. McGee has returned to her hotel for a few hours rest. She is confident that we, McGee's team, will be capable of looking after him. I do believe I have upset her somehow. Oddly enough, she seemed to be quite comfortable around me when I first arrived in McGee' s room earlier."

"Don't worry about it, Ziva. The woman's got a lot on her mind; including the death of her son and granddaughter." Gibbs reminded her quietly. "How was McGee when you were visiting with him? What you two talk about?"

"He seems almost normal today, Gibbs. It is as though all he needed was a chance to sleep well. A lot of his memories are still jumbled and he is greatly distressed at not being able to remember Ducky."

"And?" Gibbs pushed, knowing there was more she wasn't being too willing to share. But this was his agent, and he needed to know exactly what they were up against with his recovery, no matter if his grandmother was taking control of that or not.

"And he is upset that you found his genuine question regarding the different sides of Tony and Abby, to be funny. He is most confused by these two different sides he is remembering and to him, it is no joke.

"Ah, hell! I didn't mean it that way."

Silence dropped in between them for a long minute before Ziva chased it away with what else was on her mind. "He wishes to go back to D.C."

Gibbs eyes whipped up off the table and glued themselves to Ziva's. "Why?"

"He feels a kinship with us; with me. The photo book helped him somewhat and it would seem that the only uncertainty in his mind now; is you."

"She's right, Jethro." Ducky's unexpected voice joined in as he reached their table and sat down. "Apparently, the photo album helped his memory a great deal. Timothy seems to have come to terms with the bad memories of the good times between himself, Abigail and Anthony as well as the positive interactions he has had with them and the teamwork that has bonded them over the years. Now, while he has not gone into specifics, I can honestly say, Timothy will most likely begin to find it easier and much less threatening to be around those two, now, although I do not suggest that it happen the first time without a neutral party present for Timothy's own peace of mind and protection from whatever panic arises if it becomes a situation of too much too soon."

"Fair enough. The plane ride home should take care of that."

"That means the only that is left unresolved is his relationship with you. He wishes to speak with you." The M.E. stated calmly. "Although, I must warn you, he seems to be quite upset about something. Frankly, I'm surprised he managed to speak to me about anything at all, as upset as he appears to be."

"Well, Hell, Duck! Why the hell didn't you say so to begin with?" Gibbs growled as he stood from his seat and nearly bolted from the room.

By the time he'd reached Tim's room, the Team Leader had calmed his thoughts and his motions, not wanting to scare Tim or screw this up. The young man's words spoken the last time he'd sat with him, rang through his mind once more.

" _I'm sure you're happy you don't have to stay with me anymore, anyway."_

Knocking quietly on the door, Gibbs immediately scrutinized his agent for a good idea of how he was doing, since his eyes seemed to still be clear windows to his soul. What he saw when he walked into the room now, broke his heart.

Tim was sitting up in bed, his eyes vacantly staring off into the distance as tears coursed down his face, his shoulders shaking in absolute grief. There was no doubt about it, somehow, he now knew the rest of his family was gone.

Quietly closing the door, Gibbs hurried to Tim's side and sat down next to him on the bed, putting his hand comfortingly on the younger man's shoulder. "Hey. Talk to me."

Tim shook his head, unable to vocalize what he was feeling or even what had sparked it.

"Your family?" Gibbs questioned gently.

The young man nodded wordlessly. His eyes still unable to connect with those of his Team Leader.

"Hey, c'mere." Gibbs encouraged gently as he reached for his grieving agent and wrapped him supportively in his arms, giving him his shoulder to lean on as the younger man poured his heart, soul and grief through the torrent of tears that streamed down his face. With every sob, he could feel the bone jarring jerks that irritated his injuries further, but he didn't care. He needed this. He needed to be able to remember his family and cry for the loss of the ones he loved.

Many emotionally charged minutes later, Tim seemed to have exhausted himself into sleep, his body losing its' tension; now heavy without support against Gibbs's shoulder. Not willing to let go of him until he was sure Tim was okay, silently, Gibbs remained upright, merely shifting them around so that he was sitting back against the upright mattress, supporting Tim in his arms, where the younger man lay nearly boneless in his arms.

Just when Gibbs was sure Tim was peacefully asleep, the young man's shaky voice came from where Tim's head still rested on his chest. "I'm the only survivor aren't I?"

"Yeah. Yeah, Tim, you are." Gibbs answered soothingly, not saying anything else. He knew that now was not the time to try to make Tim feel okay with being alive. That would come later, after he'd processed things; in his own time. With the head injury he'd suffered and the problems he'd experienced with his memories, he couldn't be expected to handle this kind of thing in any pre-concieved expected way.

"Where…my family…did I miss their funerals?" Tim whispered as he pulled himself away from Gibbs, wiping his eyes with the back of his hands.

"No. It's only been a couple of days, Tim. We'll hold their funerals as soon as we get you and your grandmother back to D.C." Gibbs told him sympathetically.

"That must be why Penny wants us to leave as soon as possible." Tim reasoned gloomily.

Gibbs remained silent on that subject, unwilling add his own gut's feeling to the mix. It wouldn't be right to color Tim's perception of what his grandmother's true motivations were. She was, after all, only trying to protect her grandson the best way she knew how. Instead he turned the conversation back to where he needed it to go to find out what had happened to bring about Tim's knowledge of the crash.

"The memory of the crash come back to you all of a sudden?"

Tim closed his eyes for a minute and drew in a deep breath before he slowly let it back out as a tremor wracking his thin frame. His answer was quiet and shaky. "Yeah. I was already having dreams of conversations I'd had with Mom before the wedding, but then…"

Again, Gibbs remained silent, this time, giving Tim the room to say whatever he needed to.

"I was looking at the pictures in the album and suddenly, it hit me when I saw the last one taken, right before I went to California. It all came back in a wave."

"After Ziva thought you'd fallen asleep and left?" The Team Leader finally asked in a need for clarification of what had really happened between his two agents while they'd been alone with their memories.

"I was feeling really tired and had almost fallen asleep. I told her she should go eat some breakfast. She didn't want to leave but I told her I'd be fine."

"You will be." Gibbs offered with conviction.

"I'm not so sure." Tim murmured as he glanced at the older man and then looked down once more.

"We'll help in any way we can. But first? You need to get it through your head that all of us are here for you because we want to be."

Tim looked up at the man who he knew didn't lie. Wordlessly, he searched those cobalt blue pools of safety, trust and respect; finding exactly what he was looking for; and smiled.

"Thanks, Boss."


	18. New Author's Note

**A/N: We'd like to take a minute to address this recent accusation:  
**

_From: Anonymous ___

_: You are copywriting another author who has the exact storyline. Stop writing  
someone else's story. It's not right._

* * *

The term you are looking for is _Plagiarism. _Something that is very different and not to be confused with the more legally binding copyright so please don't make things worse than they already are by confusing matters.

In the world of fan fiction, we are not bound by copyright laws other than the ones that surround CBS and NCIS. There are plenty of disclaimers at the beginning of stories to cover authors from the copyright laws that are in place with NCIS, but as far as we know, (C) is not in play with fan fiction; merely the free reign to use creativity as authors see fit

With that in mind, let us just say this:

We would just like to say that we never have and never will _plagiarize_ a story. Our work is completely original and written by our own hand. We abhor plagiarists so frankly, you're accusation is hurtful to us.

You may have noticed that your accusation was not allowed to be posted with the story reviews. In all fairness, this is so we can pursue the facts before judgement can be made on what you accuse us of. Surely you can understand, that accusations of this sort can harm our reputation and it is with heavy hearts that we have to post this the way we have because of your anonymity.

For reference, when you make such a claim, it is only fair that you provide more identifying information regarding the story, that you feel has been copied, so that we can respond to the accusation with facts, rather than sit here wondering which story you are referring too and who's story we have allegedly copied so that we can read the story and make our own assumptions.

We are horrified that you could leave such a claim and dismayed that you chose to do this anonymously, as accusations made anon are tantamount to cowardice and we cannot get to the bottom of this rationally with you leading us to respond in a manner which is unacceptable. Please disclose your name next time or don't bother at all. It is strange that we have had numerous reviews for this story and not one of the has mentioned it sounding familiar.

In complete fairness to the writer of either story, a claim such as the one you have made needs to be taken seriously, by both the accuser and the accused. By not disclosing any information you have made an accusation on behalf of another writer. You need to be aware that if you leave reviews, or contact the author of the other story, this can lead to a lot of malice towards us from readers and authors alike for something you claim and we have no idea about. In order for us to understand where you are coming from, we need the necessary information. For this reason, we respectfully request the additional information so we can deal with this accordingly.

Please provide this to us with further communication via a pm that includes the following:

·The name of the story, which you are claiming we have plagiarized; as well as the name of the author, so that we may be sure we have the correct story. As you know there are often times more than one story with the same title. .you reassurance that you have not used this to start a hate campaign, or some kind of campaign to get our story taken down or abolished without first looking at the facts.

We took the time to search for similar stories to rule out this very problem BEFORE we posted this; which, by the way, we had written for a number of weeks before even posting it.

Respectful Regards

Smartkid37 and Shelbylou

PS…We look forward to hearing from you with those details we have requested.

Please, bear in mind, we cannot respond to your atrocious accusations if you chose to hide behind your cowardly anonymity.

Nor can we allow those accusations to be used to tarnish our reputation as writers.

* * *

**To our loyal readers and reviewers, a note of apology if your wonderful reviews were inadvertently deleted with the change in this note for us, your authors.**


	19. Author's Note - Long Overdue

_**A/N: **We humbly apologse for the lack of update on this story._

_No, it has not been forgotten._

_However, it has presented me with a huge case of Writer's Block. - Shelbylour, as well, with all the medical crisis she and her dad have weathered in the past year._

_I promise to keep at it - will not give up on it._

_Your patience and anticipation is greatly appreciated._

_Again, I do aplogise._

_Sincerely:_

_your humble story-teller (s)._


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